Category: Introspection Page 10 of 25

Baking is Science (WW)

On October 6, 2010

If you read Questionable Content then you will already be well aware of the awesome “Baking is science for hungry people” shirts and aprons they produce. It’s in reference to this comic strip and is similar to something I’ve been saying for years. Needless to say I wanted it.

Onyx has often remarked about needing to get me an apron since I have a tendency to cook in the nude. Well, I have the tendency to do everything in the nude and only put clothes on if I need to leave the house. So, voilà, the apron arrived yesterday.

I was making eggs for breakfast today and decided to put it on, though I was the only one home. Since it is Wednesday I thought a perfect way to commemorate the event of the first use of my new apron was to make it into a geeky WW.

In case you’re wondering that’s the Periodic Table of Wine behind me on the wall and the Periodic Table of Mixology is right above it.

30 Days of Kink: The First Time

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On September 30, 2010

In Identity: Submissive, Identity: Top, Introspection, Power Play

This is the fifth of my 30 Days of Kink in which I will be answering each of the thirty questions in different posts. I thought these would be interesting to answer and (hopefully) interesting for you to read. These will be posted in order, but not always back-to-back.

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

My question to this is what defines my first kinky sexual experience? The first time I had kinky cyber sex? Kinky phone sex? Kinky physical sex? Since it’s a sexual experience I think that could even be the first time I read kinky erotica, or the romance novel that included bondage and rough sex in it. Aside from solo kinky sexual experiences I’m sure my first kinky sexual experience was having cyber sex.

I started exploring BDSM in chat rooms long before I had any physical experience with another partner, which was probably good since I was very underage (read: 12 or so) although I always lied about my age and was never suspected of being underage that I know about. I can’t think of the very first time I had kinky cyber sex since it was quite a long time ago, but I do know that I did it a lot. All the time. Every chance that I got. I remember having an online Master and eventually having cybersex turn into phone sex.

The first time I had sex was somewhat kinky, I was 16 (the legal age of consent in Alaska) and it was with someone I met on alt.com. He blindfolded me and I think he tied my hands together, but I’m not sure if that’s true. He made me watch in the mirror as he undressed me. He fucked me (wearing a condom, of course, though I was also on birth control) both in my cunt and ass. It was quite the experience.

The first time I really had good kinky physical sex, though, was with Gil, a boy I had met online who came to visit me while I was living in Ashland. We had known each other online for a while and had been fucking and phonefucking for a little less than that. He bussed down from Canada to Southern Oregon to stay with me in my tiny dorm room for about a week. I had all sorts of toys and he brought a few too and we fucked each other silly that week.

One time in particular stands out, I tied him up and spent nearly an hour just licking and stroking and teasing his cock. He eventually got so frustrated that he actually broke the restraints I had him in so he could actually come. We also did a play rape scenario which was excellent. After him was Onyx, and the rest is already well documented.

30 Days of Kink: Early Hints

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On September 28, 2010

In Identity: Submissive, Identity: Top, Introspection, Power Play

This is the fourth of my 30 Days of Kink in which I will be answering each of the thirty questions in different posts. I thought these would be interesting to answer and (hopefully) interesting for you to read. These will be posted in order, but not always back-to-back.

Question 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

As I mentioned in Question 3 I discovered kink at a very young age. I would say that even before the events I told in Q3 I had already had kinky fantasies, somewhat obviously because I started reading non-consent erotica. I remember playing things like captor and slave and things like that in elementary school and all sorts of games that might have hinted at my enjoyment and desire of power play.

I’ve always had a bit of an outsider complex and thus always felt like I didn’t fit in, I think stemming from being naturally fat and never looking “right” therefore I never tried very hard to fit in and ended up reveling in my difference. While I don’t think this is the reason why I’m kinky or queer or any of the other “out of the norm” identities that I embrace I do think that because of that outsider feeling I found these outsider identities at a relatively young age.

I started exploring my sexuality at a very young age as well, and not because I was molested or abused as a child, in fact my childhood was relatively normal. Maybe because of my exposure to the internet at a relatively young age I discovered sexuality, or maybe just because I had been watching R rated movies since I was fairly young as well, who knows. But my exploring of my sexuality online in chat rooms and such was definitely what ultimately lead me to kink.

So I wouldn’t say I have many “hints” per se, but who knows, maybe there are things I’m forgetting.

Spiral Stair Corset 3 (WW)

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On September 22, 2010

In Introspection

My last of three Wanton Wednesday posts from a shoot I did two weeks ago now. You can also view the first or the second in case you missed either. I took these myself using my tripod and camera remote. Finally you can see more of the entire ensemble! These more than any of the previous ones highlight the difference between this batch of corset pictures and when I wore the corset before.

Finally, also, you get to see the bottom of the stairs. Well, the railing at least.

P.S. I know the first and third images are similar, but I love them both and I couldn’t decide!

Spiral Stair Corset 2 (WW)

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On September 15, 2010

In Introspection

Here is the second of three posts for Wanton Wednesday from a shoot I did last week. I was trying to highlight the staircase more in these ones. They didn’t turn out exactly as I wanted them to, but I love both of these shots anyway.

30 Days of Kink: Discovery

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On September 13, 2010

In Identity: Submissive, Identity: Top, Introspection

This is the third of my 30 Days of Kink in which I will be answering each of the thirty questions in different posts. I thought these would be interesting to answer and (hopefully) interesting for you to read. These will be posted in order, but not always back-to-back.

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

I’m sure I’ve talked about this before, but here we go. I discovered kink at a very young age. I’m not exactly sure what age, possibly around eleven or twelve. I used to read romance novels, and those romance novels eventually led me to erotica online, which then led me to non-consent erotica. I’m not sure how I stumbled upon non-consent erotica exactly, though I remember clicking on the category, reading a few stories, and being mesmerized by it.

I also remember having one romance novel specifically, Princess of Thieves by Katherine O’Neal ((the one romance novel I have purposefully kept over the years)), and one of the sex scenes included bondage and quite rough sex. I think this novel was one that introduced me to rough sex in general, not to mention that there are quite a few other romance novels with rough sex in them.

So, I moved from rough sex in romance novels to non-consent erotica online and then I remember reading one non-consent story specifically which had multiple parts. The third part was in the BDSM section rather than the non-consent section (I’m sure you can assume how the storyline changed) and that was my introduction to BDSM. From learning that term and reading more BDSM erotica I learned about all sorts of other things and began my journey of kinky discovery there.

At that point I had already been visiting chat rooms and having cybersex with people and that moved into having kinky cybersex with people and that moved on to finding my first Master and so on and so on until I met Onyx also online five years ago.

As with most sexual things I knew what I enjoyed far before I knew the name for it, and probably without the internet I wouldn’t have been able to find the name for it at such a young age. I wouldn’t have been able or willing to explore all the things I did online if I had been doing them offline, for one I would have had to find someone to do them to me, for another I knew I wasn’t at a point where I could actually do those things and I didn’t want to lose my virginity until I was older. The internet was a wonderful way for me to explore my kinky and sexual nature without risk.

30 Days of Kink: Kinks

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On September 11, 2010

In Identity: Submissive, Identity: Top, Introspection, Power Play

This is the second of my 30 Days of Kink in which I will be answering each of the thirty questions in different posts. I thought these would be interesting to answer and (hopefully) interesting for you to read. These will be posted in order, but not always back-to-back.

Day 2: List your kinks.

There are probably more than I can actually list, but that depends on what I’m actually being asked here. Do you want a list of things that turn me on? A list of things I enjoy doing? A list of things that I need more often than not? Some combination of the three or something else entirely? Well, here are a lot of the things I really enjoy that rarely fail to turn me on. Unless otherwise noted I love to both give and receive these things. In no particular order, only as they come to me.

Face slapping – a pretty constant yet relatively new addition to my rough sex. I absolutely love it and, when done correctly, it rarely will not make me more excited than I already am.

Breath play – my favorite method is a hand covering my mouth while my nose is pinched shut, allowing for absolutely no air in or out. I also really enjoy a hand around the throat.

Sharps play – mostly this comes in the form of needles, though I love the idea of knife play as well. I have a large play piercing kit and love to use it.

Deep throating/gagging/rough throat sex – I love the feeling of gagging around a cock or watching someone gag around mine, it’s ridiculously hot.

Begging – something I don’t do too often, but every time I have and every time I think about it I get turned on.

Dirty Talk – begging could be a sub-category of this, I suppose. I love being called names and being told “dirty” things. I’ve always been a very aural person and this definitely is a way to push my buttons quickly. I love saying “dirty” things as well, but often have a difficult time with it, just always have, but I also like being prompted to say things or told to say things.

Nipple play/breast torture – usually the rougher the better. Recently I had my breasts caned for the first time and I loved it. Any sort of pinching, flicking, pulling, twisting, etc. turns me on in an instant.

Hair pulling – especially being dragged around by my hair/dragging someone else around (carefully, of course, the neck is fragile) or generally using the hair to control the movement of the head or force it somewhere.

Anal sex – not sure if this is a kink per se, but I definitely love it.

Gags – more than any other type I love open mouth gags like the Whitehead gag or Mini gag. These I don’t get nearly enough of.

Saliva – this one is becoming more and more prevalent, mostly it’s the messy aspect of it, having saliva on my chin or face or being spit on (less so doing that to someone else, though).

Impact play – especially caning. I did start Cane A Slut Day after all. Really any sort of impact play is deliciously yummy to me, though I’m not a big fan of straps and have never tried a single tail.

Restraint – I love being held or pinned down, but also cuffs or rope or any other restraint implement can work just as well.

Bruises/marks – unfortunately I really don’t bruise easily so it’s not often I get to enjoy this kink. We try, oh do we try, but often even after long intense play I’ll barely bruise if at all.

Consensual non-consent – I’ve always been interested in this and have done a few rape play scenes as well as coercion/blackmail roleplays which I put in a similar category. I enjoy struggling and resisting, saying no, trying to get away, being forced and then laughed at for being wet from such rough treatment.

Pain – this one is kind of implied in many of the other ones above, but shouldn’t really be left out of a list of kinks. Of course, this doesn’t mean I get off on all pain of every kind, the intention makes it all different. Pain for enjoyment not pain for hurt, please and thank you.

I’m sure there are more. There are definitely more things that generally turn me on, and scenarios I particularly like and such, but I tried to limit it mostly to activities. It’s possible this post will be edited to include others I feel need to be in the list.

30 Days of Kink: Define Yourself

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On September 9, 2010

In Identity: Submissive, Identity: Top, Introspection

This is my first of 30 Days of Kink in which I will be answering each of the thirty questions in different posts. I thought these would be interesting to answer and (hopefully) interesting for you to read. These will be posted in order, but not always back-to-back.

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

A lot of this blog has been my way of processing this very question. What does it mean to me and how do I define my kinky self?

For a while I’ve been calling myself a switch. I sometimes refer to myself as a “lifestyle” switch, under the definition of lifestyle as someone to whom kink is an essential part of sexuality. Since February or so Onyx and I have been operating on a mostly Owner/property or Owner/cuntpet relationship without much switching of any kind, but we are both switches and I have Topped him before.

When I first started out in BDSM I called myself a submissive, then I called myself a submissive who Tops on occasion, then I slowly made my way toward switch after much contemplation and deep thought.

As for what parts of BDSM interest me, I would say just about everything. I love restraints and all forms control (B&D), power play (D/s), and pain play (S&m). I have a wide variety of interests and kinks, though that’s the next question on the list so I won’t go into that. I enjoy pretty much everything from both sides, giving and receiving depending on my mood and the person I’m with. I don’t think there’s anything I would dish out that I wouldn’t also take.

I find I don’t miss Topping as much as I thought I might being in a mostly one-dynamic relationship. Now that I’m getting a regular dose of bottoming and submission and lovely lovely masochism I think my kink needs are mostly being satiated. I do miss it on occasion, though, and luckily Onyx doesn’t mind too much when I hit him with various implements or bite him or things like that. He’s not really that much into pain (though there was one point when he was in subspace and I caned him and he loved it) but he doesn’t mind it and he tends to return whatever I give to him, so really it’s a win-win situation.

I have also discovered that casual play is much easier for me as a Top or as a masochistic bottom. I can easily take service or give pain or take pain but submitting to someone takes another level of trust. Of course, this makes sense, but it seems easier for some people than for me. I really want to get to the point where I am able to play casually with friends either simply kink interactions or sexual ones as well.

Spiral Stair Corset 1 (WW)

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On September 8, 2010

In Introspection

I haven’t done a Wanton Wednesday post in a long time. True to form I’m sneaking in right at the last minute.

Tonight when I was trying on one of my old corsets to see if it would fit. When I discovered it did indeed fit (for the first time in about two years) I decided it was worthy of some pictures. I’ve worn this corset before in pictures here, and it actually fits better than it did then. I hadn’t tried it on in a while. Also, I crocheted the shawl myself.

As for the location, we moved at the beginning of August. We’re now in a one bedroom plus loft rather than simply a one bedroom. We have these wonderful spiral stairs in our apartment and I’ve been wanting to take photographs on them since we moved in. We’ve also been wanting to fuck on them since we moved in which we finally did last night.

I’ll be posting more from this set in the next two weeks. These all were taken at the top of the stairs and those were taken at the bottom. I took all of these myself using my tripod and my camera remote.

Those of you who follow me on Twitter have already basically seen the one above, I turned it into my twitter picture immediately once it was on my computer. There are two more below.

30 Days of Kink

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On September 8, 2010

In Introspection, Power Play, Sexuality

I discovered this via Rayne and thought it would be an excellent exercise. There’s a 30 Days of Letters prompt that a few people I read have been doing, but I wasn’t inspired to do that one. I’ve been thinking a lot about bdsm and kink lately but haven’t written a lot about it, so I think this will be good for me. Maybe I can get Onyx to do it on his blog too.

I’ll update this post as I go with the links. By the way, I’m still hoping people will submit a post for my What Brings You Pleasure feature!

The 30 Days/Questions

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

Day 2: List your kinks.

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

Day 10: What are your hard limits?

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Other 30 Days of Kink

Rayne @ Insatiable Desire
Cinnamon @ Seeing My Own Reflection
Gabe & Elizabeth @ Pornocracy
Kathryn/Lady Dreyanan @ Mistress Says

Are you doing it too? Comment and let me know!