taiWelcome! I’m Tai Fenix Kulystin (previously known as Scarlet Lotus), I am a queer fat genderqueer polyamorous switch and my pronouns are they/them. This blog is my personal exploration of gender, sexuality, spirituality, kink, and the joys and pitfalls of an overanalytical nature.

Outside of this blog I am currently finishing up a Master's degree to help me launch into my career as a Gender & Intimacy Coach and Somatic Sexuality Educator. I am passionate about working with people of all bodies, genders, sexualities, and relationship styles to help them move toward experiencing the (sex) life of their dreams.


09.08

2010

30 Days of Kink

I discovered this via Rayne and thought it would be an excellent exercise. There’s a 30 Days of Letters prompt that a few people I read have been doing, but I wasn’t inspired to do that one. I’ve been thinking a lot about bdsm and kink lately but haven’t written a lot about it, so I think this will be good for me. Maybe I can get Onyx to do it on his blog too.

I’ll update this post as I go with the links. By the way, I’m still hoping people will submit a post for my What Brings You Pleasure feature!

The 30 Days/Questions

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

Day 2: List your kinks.

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

Day 10: What are your hard limits?

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Other 30 Days of Kink

Rayne @ Insatiable Desire
Cinnamon @ Seeing My Own Reflection
Gabe & Elizabeth @ Pornocracy
Kathryn/Lady Dreyanan @ Mistress Says

Are you doing it too? Comment and let me know!

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2 Responses to “30 Days of Kink”



  1. I started doing the 30 Days of Kink some time ago, and while it’s taken me more than a month, I’m ALMOST finished! :) Come check out my blog if you’d like. I always love feedback!


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