30 Days of Kink: Early Hints
This is the fourth of my 30 Days of Kink in which I will be answering each of the thirty questions in different posts. I thought these would be interesting to answer and (hopefully) interesting for you to read. These will be posted in order, but not always back-to-back.
Question 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?
As I mentioned in Question 3 I discovered kink at a very young age. I would say that even before the events I told in Q3 I had already had kinky fantasies, somewhat obviously because I started reading non-consent erotica. I remember playing things like captor and slave and things like that in elementary school and all sorts of games that might have hinted at my enjoyment and desire of power play.
I’ve always had a bit of an outsider complex and thus always felt like I didn’t fit in, I think stemming from being naturally fat and never looking “right” therefore I never tried very hard to fit in and ended up reveling in my difference. While I don’t think this is the reason why I’m kinky or queer or any of the other “out of the norm” identities that I embrace I do think that because of that outsider feeling I found these outsider identities at a relatively young age.
I started exploring my sexuality at a very young age as well, and not because I was molested or abused as a child, in fact my childhood was relatively normal. Maybe because of my exposure to the internet at a relatively young age I discovered sexuality, or maybe just because I had been watching R rated movies since I was fairly young as well, who knows. But my exploring of my sexuality online in chat rooms and such was definitely what ultimately lead me to kink.
So I wouldn’t say I have many “hints” per se, but who knows, maybe there are things I’m forgetting.Labels: 30 Days of Kink, bdsm & kink, identities, identity foundations, life, outsider complex