Purveyor of Pleasure

Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Happy Thanksgiving (HNT)

I spent the majority of yesterday thinking about today: what I was going to cook, what kind of booze we’d need, and who was going to be here.

Last year it was me, Onyx, our roommate Katrisa, and her mom which was very fun. The year before that it was the same, minus the mom, and our next door neighbors. Before that it was me and my neighbor (and future roommate) Merrilei. Before that I was with my sister and her friends in Seattle. Hopefully next year we’ll be with new friends in Seattle.

This year was just me and Onyx, as the neighbormates headed to Wyoming to celebrate with Kevin’s family. I made some mighty delicious food that we’ve been eating at all day while watching Queer as Folk and The Maltese Falcon. Now it’s just about time for dessert: apple cobbler.

I whipped up some whipping cream for our cobbler and decided to have some fun with it. I thought it might make a perfect HNT post for you all to see…

 
Click for the larger versions.

Review: Finger Sleeve with Vibrating Bullet

I’m a big fan of clitoral vibrators, especially small ones that are nice and powerful, which was part of why I was attracted to the Finger Sleeve with Vibrating Bullet.

The other reason I was attracted to it was because of the way I like to masturbate: always on my stomach, using the same finger and only that finger to rub at my clit, and no vibrator had completely been able to replicate that experience because I always have to hold the vibe and if it’s small I sometimes end up getting that dreaded vibrator claw-hand that is no fun to experience.

I knew the little silver bullet that comes with it would be nice and strong, as I have one like it, and I thought the idea was just fabulous and reminds me of Fukuoku vibes (only cheaper in price). I have never owned a Fukuoku anything or a non-held vibe before so I thought this would be a good experience even if it wasn’t great.

But it is great! The only thing I’m a little wary of is the sleeve itself. The packaging it came in says it’s silicone, but it didn’t say 100% silicone, and it feels awful jelly-like, so that worries me a little bit. I doubt it would have bad icky phthalates in it, but it may be porous, so it may be unable to be cleaned. Though, then again, who knows, it could be 100% silicone, but I’d be surprised if it was and they neglected to say so on the package. Only the manufacturers know for sure, and they didn’t put any other information other than silicone

Aside from that minor irritation I really have enjoyed it. The vibrations are nice and strong and the nubs on the toy itself are great for rubbing with or without vibration (though I prefer it with). I really like the grip-free ability, basically I don’t have to hold it at all I just need to guide and press, which I found extremely delightful. The Finger Sleeve with Vibrating Bullet is a very basic toy at a very basic price (under $10, did I mention that part?) that does it’s job with no fuss.

Though since I don’t know the make I probably won’t use it as much as my Nea or Mia (my two favorite clitoral vibrators), but it’s definitely a toy I’ll reach for when my hand is tired and I just need to get off quickly without the risk of my hand getting stuck in an uncomfortable position (claw-hand) for a long time, and for under $10 you can’t afford not to have one.

Find Finger Sleeve with Vibrating Bullet and other sex toys at SexToy.Com.

Microfantasy Monday – Standing

The idea behind Microfantasy Mondays comes from Ang of Sweltering Celt.

This week’s theme: it’s all about standing up.

I shiver softly as the scissors work up my back, cutting away what little fabric still covered me from view, slashing up the back of my dress and across the short sleeves so that it falls to the floor. Underneath, now exposed, my lace garter belt still clings to the quivering skin, accentuating and framing all the right places. The scissors cut my bra, too, the straps and back hanging down while the cups are the only things keeping my breasts from pressing bare against the cold wall the way my arms already were as they were splayed out at my sides.

She presses the cool leather between my thighs, nudging them apart, and I begrudgingly oblige so that my cunt is exposed to the air. Widening my stance requires me to slide down the wall a bit which shifts the bits of bra still hanging and catches her attention, she reaches a hand and tugs the soft material away, pressing her clothed groin against my ass and grinding softly as she bites my neck, tossing the bra away. I moan and shiver again, this time from excitement rather than the cold, her body warming me as it teases me. Again she puts the handle between my legs, this time pressing the handle against my cunt, making me grind down against it as she tsks softly at me.

“Not yet, pet.” She croons in an amusement-laced tone. “There’s plenty of that to come. But first…”

Pleasurists #5


Photograph by Torsten Brandt

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #4? Read it all here. Do you Have a review for Pleasurists #4? Submit it here before Sunday November 30th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blogs if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Win a free Level 2 Membership to CrashPadSeries.com! Deadline is Friday November 28th at midnight PST; winner announced the following day (Saturday November 29th)
Enter my Contest! Win Porn from Kink.Com! Deadline December 6th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick
HNT and Mr. Man by Essin’ Em
“She let me suck her cock, I let her suck mine (Femmes can have cocks too, damn it!). […] Holy crap – it felt so good…very intense, very amazing. It was like more traditional oral sex on a female bodied person (cunnilingus like), but while watching her mouth slide up and down on my cock. Hot. Mind fuck. God damn hot mind fuck.”
Note: I admit to being a bit biased on this one, because I really really really want a Mr. Man!

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Sex Toys and Videotape

Note: there’s nothing really in here about videotape, I was just amused by myself at the title. I know, it’s kind of lame, but I’m often easily amused and also having a big can’t-think-of-a-better-title moment. That is all.

You may have noticed there have been a lot more reviews around here lately, or just a lot more things to do with sex toys in general. In part this started when I started Pleasurists, my weekly adult product round-up, but really it started before that when I started reviewing for Vibe Review, and right before them Eden Fantasys (though those were EF-on-site reviews not blog-based reviews, I was contacted by EF later about writing blog-based reviews for them). My love of sex toys was rekindled, I hadn’t really bought many in the few years prior, but I already had quite a few.

I love reviewing toys, I’ve come to realize, and I love being around toys and teaching others about them. I love helping others connect with their sexuality in general, but specifically sex toys are something I’ve been connected with for many years now. I’ve come to think that is what I will want to do with my life in some way or another. I mentioned this briefly before but I’ve been thinking about it ever since then.

I’m not sure if it would be a better idea to open my own store and site or to just try to work for one of the ones I love so much that are already established. I think it would depend on if I could get a job with one, as I know competition is rather high! It seems that a lot of getting a job with toy companies is who you know, so here’s to this blog helping me with that.

I’ve recently joined a few new reviewer programs, as you may have noticed from the new links and banners within them, Babeland and SexToy.Com as well as Vibrator.Com which I don’t have a review up for yet, but one will go up this Friday. You may be asking yourself: how many review programs does one femme need? To which my greedy reply would be, of course: as many as possible. However, there have been some other developments than just gaining programs.

I was recently suspended from Vibe Review‘s program because no one has bought toys from them through my affiliate link, even though I get quite a few hits on it, just no sales. I can understand this position since, after all, it is a business first and foremost and not just meant to give me toys, but I’m definitely disappointed because I really enjoyed working with VibeReview and would love to continue working with them.

I can continue reviewing once some purchases have been made through my affiliate link, so I’m asking you all, if you have a toy that you’re planning on buying from VibeReview, please click through my affiliate link with VibeReview before purchasing the product with them so that you may read more reviews on here from them and generally help me out! If you don’t know what product to get feel free to email me or comment with some ideas about what you are looking for and I can suggest one, or look through my past reviews for some ideas of what you might want to buy.

Also: the affiliate proceeds from any toys you buy through my affiliate link will be donated x2 to The Butterfly Temptress Cancer Fund, so in addition to helping me out by clicking through my affiliate link you would also end up basically donating part of your sex toy purchase to help her out as well!

Also, speaking of The Butterfly Temptress Cancer Fund, Babeland is allowing affiliates to donate their December affiliate proceeds as well, and so all of my affiliate proceeds from any toys you by in December through my Babeland affiliate link will go to The Butterfly Temptress and her battle with stage four cervical cancer. I’m rather poor at the moment, but I’d rather the money go to her so that she has a better chance of recovering!

Then there’s this mess with EdenFantasys which I’m really not sure how I feel about yet. I’m sure I’ll post about it once I have sorted everything out.

Review: Good Dyke Porn


From Video “Twelve – Pussy Home Invasion – Part 2” on Good Dyke Porn

Each time I start writing this review of Good Dyke Porn I have to stop and start over, because I keep on not being able to convey just how much I’ve enjoyed this site, and how wonderful I believe this site and these videos are. Not only does every video look like real dykes having real dyke sex (interpret that as you wish) and actually genuinely enjoying themselves, they are doing it in a way that is incredibly enjoyable to watch as well.

The only negative I can say about the site at all is that I found myself getting so turned on by it that I got turned around on it, unsure of how to get back to a page I was on before without the back button or scrolling through multiple pages. Part of that was me forgetting how I got to a page after watching a video, cumming, and being generally brain-addled from that.

Even with the slightly confusing navigation videos aren’t at all difficult to find, just getting back to a specific video or page was difficult for me, and I enjoy the general layout and the way each video is laid out, with the ability to watch or save each clip from each scenario. Another nice thing about the way it’s set up is that you can choose get a general membership to the site or just buy individual clips that pique your interest, which is extremely handy because not everyone is into all the same things, so you can just pick and choose what you want to watch and what you don’t. Of course, the more clips you buy the more you would save by just buying a membership.

I’ve watched a number of different clips and different scenarios, from a familiar pizza boy scenario to a femme circle jerk to a femmed up male-bodied dyke and his lover engaging in play, and many more! Each one was strikingly different but they all were exactly what the title indicates: good (or great) dyke porn. I loved the feeling that I got from watching these, not just the turned on feeling but like I was peeking in on what these dykes normally did with each other, not that I was watching some elaborately staged visual adult entertainment that was trying to be anything other than real dykes getting it on.

I especially loved that everyone looked like they were real people, with all different breast sizes, body types, and skin tones. Like I said, every scenario is different, with a variety of tones, toys, and activities. Some have strap-ons and other toys introduced into the mix, some are just dyke-on-dyke fingers and mouth on cunt action, some have restraints and BDSM or D/s overtones, some have all three. They are all in various locations both outdoors (hot!) and indoors and each one of them is extremely fun to watch.

Some of the videos even have extra ‘behind the scenes’ clips as a seperate clip after the hot action, where you get to talk with those involved in the scene and learn a little more about them. I loved this, almost more than the actual videos (though not quite–I did say almost!) because it just emphasizes that these are real people that you’re watching having sex and having fun. Hearing the participants explain what made them want to do porn and how they were feeling post-scene was a wonderful experience that I really appreciated being able to see.

I also love that there is a male-bodied individual in one of the scenarios. I noticed a post on the forum about this as well (another great feature to have on a sex-positive very women-friendly porn site, the ability to converse with other members about the porn and just about anything). The forum post had the title “Do men belong in dyke porn?” It wasn’t someone complaining, just wanting to know what the others there thought. There were quite a few responses, including this one from Bren Ryder the creator of GDP:

“Women like different things and some may argue that there shouldn’t be a dildo or there shouldn’t be cake or there shouldn’t be young beautiful femme women with perfect bodies or there shouldn’t be a scene where a bio-guy is dressed up like a woman and then gets fucked in the ass.
I say there absolutely should be all of those things and MORE. Anything that serves our queer fantasies. ”

The majority of others on the forum agreed with her and I couldn’t agree with her more. I was extremely surprised and excited to see a femmed-up male-bodied person in dyke porn! If you’ve been reading me for a while you know that I’ve been talking a lot recently about the queer ways in which males and females can interact sexually, so I love having a video on a dyke site to point to exactly that!

I think Good Dyke Porn is an amazing site full of wonderful videos enjoyable to everyone even remotely queer (and in my world that’s just about everyone). If you haven’t, I highly recommend you go check out the site, look at the samples, sign up for the forums, and maybe even buy some clips. You know you want to.

Side View Exposition (HNT)


Click for the larger version.

Since I figured you’ve all seen enough of my face lately…

Seriously, though, the reason why I posted this is because I hate my arms. I showed a flash of tit so that there would be something else to look at too, but the main focus is my upper arm and thigh.

I remember the moment I started hating my arms, I don’t remember exactly how old I was only that I was in high school. I was talking with my dad about buying clothes or something about clothes and he told me that he wouldn’t buy me any tank-tops because I shouldn’t show my arms off because they were fat. My dad said that, he whose body type I emulate and who is heavier than me. I just about died.

I still hear his tone when he said that to me, so nonchalant. I’m sure he didn’t mean to cause harm by it specifically, it was just something he felt the need to inform me of, as if I wasn’t already painfully aware of my fat body. He wasn’t trying to be mean, but he did make me overly self-conscious about my fat upper arms.

The more I think about my dad and all the things he’s said to me over the years in passing, all the little remarks, insisting I should sit in the front when five people are in the car because I’m the largest, little things that I’m sure he doesn’t mean to be hurtful but that are. The more I think about his attitude towards size in general I realize that he’s extremely fatphobic, and a lot of fat people are.

I guess it makes sense, and I shouldn’t be surprised by that realization, but I was the first time I had it. Pretty much everyone has some fatphobia in them, I know I still do, although I actively work against it. So here I am working against my fat arm phobia, by letting you all see it in all it’s large glory.

I blame/thank Bevin for helping me with the courage to post this, though it’s still taken me all day to actually do it. Back on my HNT two weeks ago I mentioned “I have a thing about showing my arms, especially my upper arms, I blame my dad for that, so I had to cover them up with something.” She responded to the post that “unearth[ing] your upper arms” is “crucial to fat activism” and I’ve been thinking a lot about that in the last two weeks, especially with my posting of The Adipositivity Project and looking at all the bold beautiful big sexy women who are uncovered there.

I’m still not where I want to be health-wise, and I still have that inner voice telling me to keep myself covered, but I need to get to a better emotional place before I have the motivation to do all that I want to, and this is a step toward that, so enjoy.

Fallen into Place

Yesterday (the 19th) was our three year collaring anniversary, though we’ve known each other nearly four years and met face-to-face numerous times before he collared me, he waited until the right moment to bring me that collar. It was accompanied by Norwegian chocolates which he brought from Salt Lake City to Ashland, Oregon (where I was living at the time), and lots and lots of hot heavy sex.

Since my discovery of my Domina side I have been less submissive than ever, though there were plenty of times when I wasn’t submissive before I embraced myself as a Domina, but that’s beside the point. Embracing that side of me gave me permission to explore it, which made me less keen on playing the submissive. Though, since our switching experiment last month with Onyx’s discovery of his bottom side and our decision to switch as we please I have been able to get more and more of the Dominant energy out of me, and now I’m craving submission.

Thinking back to the beginning of our relationship, in those early days even when we were fighting our own love for each other and just giving into the lust we were always Dominant and submissive, but not as much as I thought I wanted us to be. I had these desires of a 24/7 M/s relationship where I had no control and he had total control. It’s possible for others, but not quite for us. I do still desire that to an extent, but I know that it just does not work with our relationship. He has a very hard time saying no to me, and I know how to take advantage of that.

The more I look at our lives now I realize just how wonderful everything has become. I love that we both have opened up to our switch sides and that we can both tease each other and work off each other’s energy in order to enjoy every moment more instead of trying to fit ourselves into a box.

The more I look back at the past year or so, when I was trying to fit us into that box, that triangle peg in a square hole that will never fit no matter how hard you push, I wonder why I was so determined to have it happen. It did work for small periods of time, and then it would deteriorate into our usual routine. I’ve come to realize I like our usual routine! And now that it’s free to be what it is and not being pushed into a box I feel like we’re both breathing easier and enjoying things a lot more.

Still, there are times when I want the more strict D/s dynamic back and I don’t know how to ask for it yet. There are moments where I just want him to grab me by the hair and devour my mouth, or start spanking me and rubbing my cunt, or cover my nose and mouth to control my breath, or pin me down and fuck me like his whore. Yet there are also moments where I don’t want that at all, so I know it’s difficult for him because, like me, he’s still discovering the differences in me between my two power personae, and I’m still figuring out how to signal my change when it happens.

Eventually that will come, however, through our further communication and evolving it will come.

An Oral Confession

I have a confession to make. I may have mentioned this before on here, but I don’t think I have, at least I couldn’t find anything under the oral tag. I’m really not a big fan of receiving oral sex. To some this might sound crazy, though I do know that there are others of us out there who just don’t dig it as much as we’re supposedly supposed to.

Don’t get me wrong, I love having my partner pay attention to my cunt and work it and all of that good stuff, but I’m just not too down with the tongue specifically. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy it when it happens, because I do, it’s just not high on my list of preferences. I much prefer fingers and toys to a tongue, and in thinking about it I think I know why.

I began pondering my oral sex preferences a couple nights ago when Onyx decided to go down on me. This is a very rare occurrence in our sex lives since we’ve had discussions regarding my lack of desire for oral sex, and since I don’t really care for it Onyx doesn’t tend to do it. It was a nice experience that was a bit of a change to our usual interactions, and I did enjoy it quite a bit though I wasn’t expecting it.

My clit has been very sensitive lately, often too sensitive for him to touch at times, which makes him manually getting me off rather difficult. When that happens we usually opt for a toy or for me to rub my own clit, because something about knowing where and how the finger is going to move makes it less of a shock to the sensitive clit, I think.

I was having one of those overly sensitive moments and he decided to bring some tongue action into the mix. Since I was oversensitive I did appreciate the lighter touch of the tongue vs. the fingers, but it made me realize why I don’t particularly like oral: I need pressure in order to get off, specifically pressure on my clit, and it’s hard to get as much pressure as I need from a tongue. This is why I love fingers and why I do often press so hard with vibrators that I get the horrible vibrator claw-hand which makes my hand stiffen.

I really did enjoy having his tongue on my clit, alternating with fingers as well. It felt very good but it’s still not high on my list of sexual desires. Having it every so often so that it’s a different, exciting, and enjoyable experience is just perfect for me.

Now, receiving oral on my cock… that’s a different story.

The Only Thing Constant

I have this saying: people never change, they only get more defined over time. I remember coming up with it, though I was sure at the time that someone else had probably said it already, though I haven’t looked it up. It’s part of my belief in the stuff personality psychology spouts, I suppose, though at the time I came up with it I hadn’t yet started my Psychology studies. This was quite a few years ago.

This quote isn’t to say that change doesn’t happen. I have this other phrase I like to quote, this one I lifted from someone, I think my sister said it to me originally: the only thing constant is change. I like the slight paradox of it, as well as how it rings true. I do believe people change all the time too, though in different ways than the first saying implies.

The second quote has to do with the general transitive stuff: thoughts, ideas, appearance, situations, all the stuff that always changes. The first saying is all about the core of the individual, not the outer ideas. I believe as life goes on the core of us doesn’t change dramatically, it just gets better and better defined.

Like a sculpture, we start off as a large piece of whatever rock may hold appeal to each of us: granite, marble, etc. We always have a sculpture inside of us ready to be chipped away at. The image is always there, but perhaps we have the ability to decide on what pose or position the sculpture will be in, though the form will be the same. There is some kernel, some idea of the sculpture inside of the block of stone, only one thing that the sculpture will end up being, but the exact shape and form of the sculpture is dependent on all those around us who help chip away at that block, including ourselves. And the first chips are always the biggest.

I remember being told once about a sculptor who would spend days and days just sitting looking at his giant slab of rock that would once become a beautiful sculpture. When asked what he was doing he would always reply that he was sculpting, even though there were no tools in his hand. He was envisioning the possibilities and figuring out what it was that rock wanted to become before he even started chipping away at it to form it into a new whole. I don’t remember who that sculptor was, so if you know/can find out I’d be appreciative, but the message remains the same.

Change is inevitable, but there is some sort of wonderful mesh of nature and nurture that helps us continuously evolve into what it is that we become, and I’m not sure we ever get to become in this lifetime. Maybe.

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