Purveyor of Pleasure

Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Category: Site Specific Page 9 of 10

One Thing

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On September 9, 2008

In Site Specific

I’ve spent the majority of yesterday and today re-tagging older posts as well as adding some categories and re-organizing those. It’s been a big task, and I’m not convinced I’m done with it either, but I’m close for the moment. I’ll probably have to go back through them post-by-post to make sure they are as I want them to be. A tedious task, but also one I think is important.

I also went back and added a number of posts from August 07-January 08. Posts which were on my livejournal which are relevant to this blog, and posts which inform our current struggles as we have had struggles similar to this before (though also different). I started this blog in March with the post Owner/cuntpet and all the posts previous are re-posted from LJ, but only relationship or identity-relevant ones, really.

Now, the real reason why I’m posting this… I have so many ideas buzzing around in my head lately it’s often hard for me to sort them out enough to write a coherent post on them. I have been thinking about my goals for this blog a lot lately, as well as not only why I am writing but who I am writing for, and that’s basically anyone who will listen. I’ve realized my goals are not just to express myself but to become involved in a community which I desperately desire to be a part of, and I think I’ve succeeded in that at least a little bit.

What I am asking with this post is if you have anything in particular you would like me to write about, write more of, or anything of the sort. I want to hear from those of you who are reading me. I want to know if I am making any points that are interesting, or if I’m just babbling about my life.

So, tell me what you like or don’t like or what you would like to see more of. Even if it’s just one word or a phrase or anything, let me know in the comments, please.

P.S. I’m working on a few stories I hope to post. It’s been a good while since I’ve put some fantasy smut up here.

August in a Glance

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On September 3, 2008

In Site Specific

I’m doing this post round-up both for you my readers and for myself, it helps me to categorize what I have done and written, to see what areas I talk about most, what things I may want to talk about next month, and where my relationship(s) have been and how they have developed over the last month.

In August I popped out a few more posts than I had in months previous, and I feel pretty good about that. A lot of the reason for it is because of the new structure which I have on the site, August being the first month where this had been implemented.

I also thought a lot about my goals for the site, which I have yet to post about, but which I have mostly figured out. While it is a personal blog and I talk about a lot of personal things I am also hoping that it’s more than that, it’s informative and educational as far as it’s sharing my perspective and allowing others to see that. I had an epiphany in August as well which included the realization of why I’m blogging, which is not only to inform and educate but to find a community to be a part of, and I’m really starting to find that. I have made some great internet-friends who I hope to become closer to as time goes on.

Now, on to the post round-up going down the subjects of the title and subtitle of the blog, aka my identities and my posting topics:

sex-positive

  • I put out quite a few reviews during august, starting with the gorgeous Vicky Venus, then moving to the Miracle Massager which I was quite pleased with, and the Miracle Massager Attachment which I was not very pleased with at all. I was also able to review a lovely glass dildo/plug, and the ever delightful Silver Bullet in which I also mentioned my first experience buying a sex toy which was also a bullet.
  • Along the same lines, I also posted about the next shipment of sextoys I’m getting from VibeReview, including a new Lelo toy, a harness and strap-on compatible dildos, and all sorts of other yummy things!
  • I also raved about my newfound love of Nea by Lelo, though didn’t review it until the 1st of September.
  • Lastly, I talked about my interest and plans to become a phone-sex operator, some of the reasons for it and why I am interested in this type of sex work.

fat

  • I talked about my current struggle with my own weight and how weight should be less important than health, but that is not always the case, and how I struggle with being size-positive but also trying to lose weight. The key, I’ve come to, is to look at it in a way that is about being healthy at any size.

femme

  • Largely inspired by my new project The Femme’s Guide to Absolutely Everything I have been thinking a lot about my femme identity, and I do mean A LOT, which means I posted about it quite a bit throughout August.
  • Three out of four of my Semantics Sunday posts were about something related to either my femme identity or gender as well (and the other one could also be argued to be somewhat about my femme identity). The first SS was on the gender galaxy as opposed to gender binary/continuum, giving you an idea of how I view this gender galaxy we all inhabit. Next, I wrote about my definition of femme, not only how I define it but also how it is deviant and also a little about what it means to me. My latest SS post is on the term Fagette which contains both of my femme and boi identities within it and which I’ve been also thinking about a lot lately.
  • In addition to talking about my gender I also posted a genderqueered HNT which I rather adore. All dressed up in my pinstripe suit with red lips and nails, finding my own gender uniqueness through fuckery.
  • Lastly, I talked more on femme cock and what it means to me for my dick to be a girl.

queer poly

  • I chose to share my love of The Leather Daddy and the Femme (review forthcoming) by posing with it in an HNT.
  • I posted a gay zombie spoof movie trailer because I think it’s both hilarious as well as says something interesting about both zombie movies and homophobia.
  • And, I re-posted a call for library activism, which I found particularly inspiring.

kinky switch

  • At the request of Elizabeth of Pornocracy (who is in the middle of Hurricane Gustav and my thoughts are with both her and Gabe) I explored some of my desires for participating in breath play and what that means to me.

cuntpet

Domina

  • I didn’t talk a whole lot about my Domina side this month, though things have been percolating, a lot of my attention was on my cuntpet personae due to Dominus’ and my anniversaries which I wrote about. I did, however, write my first Semantics Sunday post on my definition of the term Domina.

All else

  • I was fortunate enough to join two group blogs in the month of August, in addition to starting my own (Femme’s Guide). I talked about my involvement with each of them seperately. First, Best Sex Bloggers and then Kinky Sex Link both of which I am honored to be a part of and although I haven’t contributed as much as I would like to I will be contributing more in the future.
  • Unlike usual, I only participated in one Sugasm post #143 though mostly because Sugasm was down for a good part of August. I also cross-posted for a friend in need, about Catalina’s raffle which was absolutely amazing.
  • Last, I included information about some amusing messages I had received on FetLife from an over-eager Dom. I’m still considering his offer, that goat he owns is a mighty tempting selling point…

This Week's Sexy Sugasm Posts (#143)

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On August 5, 2008

In Link Carnivals

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #144? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Anti-Porn Protest Gets Weird
“People get very excited about their causes and lack the sense to see if the information backs them up. ”

The Come Shot

“You don’t see their bodies going blotchily red and hear them howling like a banshee.”

Third Time’s a Charm
“If I lift my kilt on Bourbon Street I’m much more likely to get arrested than if Elizabeth takes off her top.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
In My Office

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Read More

July in a Glance

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On August 1, 2008

In Site Specific

I’m doing this post round-up both for you my readers and for myself, it helps me to categorize what I have done and written, to see what areas I talk about most, what things I may want to talk about next month, and where my relationship(s) have been and how they have developed over the last month.

In July I posted as many times as I did in June (24), the highest numbers which I’ve had since I started the blog. I started getting a lot more feedback, and had a good number of visitors, so I’m very happy about all that! I really love feedback, even though I’m rotten at giving it to others.

The general timeline of July, as well, included me discovering and embracing my switch side, and therefore also my Domina side, which I delve into in a few posts, and there are many more coming. Master and I were less bumpy than we have been in previous months and have settled into a really nice dynamic, and he is very supportive of my exploration of my Domina side, as long as it doesn’t interfere with our dynamic.

There were so many things that I wanted to post and didn’t get a chance to, but hopefully that will change in the coming months, I’m trying to be more focused as well as productive with this blog and I hope it happens! I also went to my first local play party and began to review toys for VibeReview in addition to my reviews with EdenFantasys which I started in June.

Now that you’ve had a general overview here is the specific post roundup, going down the subjects of the title and subtitle of the blog, aka my identities and my posting topics:

fem(me)inist

sex-positive

fat femme

  • A mention and information of the (Queer Fat) FemmeCast, something which I think everyone should listen to, regardless of size, orientation, or gender.
  • My analysis and musings about my move from my previous butch cock to my new search for a gorgeous femme cock complete with lots of links to deliciously sexy dildos.

queer poly

  • Some delving into my personal feelings and visibility issues regarding my identity as queer and being with a male partner while being femme-identified and still embracing the queer label.
  • A fucking fantastic pansexual genderqueer video titled Fagette by Athens Boys Choir. (Just posted yesterday)

cuntpet and Domina

  • I wrote about my favorite BDSM/kink site in my Ode to FetLife (where I am an official greeter, so if you sign up you might be greeted by me) and also posted the information about a call for submissions for Bound to Struggle Vol. 3.
  • Near the beginning of the month I realized and started exploring my identity as a switch, which is something I had never embraced previously, and then near the end of the month went on to discuss the discoveries I had regarding my newly found Domina personae.
  • In between those two posts I wrote about the first play party which Master and I attended together, and my reluctance and desire to become part of the local BDSM community
  • I ended the month BDSM-wise with a naughty little retelling of the night before, when Master and I played a bit with the cunt/brat aspect of my cuntpet personae, where I tried to tease him, but instead of teasing him he “forced” me to give him a blowjob.

all else

Some Structure for the Site

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On July 29, 2008

In Site Specific

I’ve been thinking a lot about the structure of this blog, the intent, what I’m trying to “say” or do or what affect I’m trying to have, and I can’t answer all of those yet, but I’m working on it. This is more than just a blog for me to write about things going on in my life, because I use my livejournal for that (sort of, I’ve been slacking lately). This is more than just a blog for me to write things about BDSM, because I feel it encompasses more than that. I think that the sub-title really says it all. I do mainly focus on BDSM, but I try to post about each bit in kind.

So, in thinking about what I’m trying to say with this blog, I came to the conclusion that I lack the discipline (no surprise there) of posting as often as I would like. I think that in order to gain this discipline it may help for me to construct a list of days, call them nifty alliterated things and stick to the posting of them. This would also help me on the weekends or days when I have a lot of time which I can devote to the blog but have so much to write about I can’t decide on one thing.

I also added a neat plugin called Post Ideas which can keep track of my list of ideas of things I want to write about, and I can pull from that any time I may need to.

Obviously I wouldn’t be limited to these posts on these days, these are just a jumping-off point, and hopefully will help me focus my ideas and intentions. Also: I may not stick rigidly to these either, but I will try to post more often and something related to the day when possible. I may go completely off track, however, and don’t blame me if I do. These are guidelines, and not necessarily hard and fast rules.

My days:

Semantics Sunday – This would essentially be my definition of a word/phrase each week. Something related to one of the many identities which I explore within this blog (see: sub-title), which basically covers anything sexual, gender, bdsm, and poly/relationship oriented. Could be fun…

Masturbation Monday – A review of a sex toy! This may be in written or audio form (talking about the sexcast here), or possibly both. Most will be new, some may be follow-up information (if needed), some (if in audio) may be slight repeats. (Though there will be one this week that will not be on Monday since Monday already passed and I got my lot of sex toys from VibeReview on Friday!)

Temptress Tuesday – A post exploring the Domina personae or the cunt aspect of my cuntpet personae. The personaes who tempt, are tempting, and tempt others into action for various reasons.

Wicked Wednesday – A free-for-all post, really, about something I feel the need to blog about. Could be anything sexual, another Domina post, a cuntpet post, musings on BDSM in general, or something completely different! Random posts which do not fit into the structure go here, as long as they are somehow “wicked”!

Half-Nekkid Thursday – The well known and beloved way for sex(y) bloggers to expose themselves with more than just words. Many of you read my recent pondering regarding this phenomenon and now you know my answer. A lot of my decision was prompted by Ellie’s response to that post, and some of the ideas she brought up, and also prompted by my desire and need to use my Rebel XT more often. This will be fun…

Fucktoy Friday – A post exploring my cuntpet personae, either the fucktoy or pet aspect most likely, but also anything regarding sex and sexuality. Also a very broad category. Hopefully something salacious!

Saturday – None or free-for-all. Nothing specific, no alliteration, as I don’t tend to post on Saturdays (no bar against it, though, of course).

On a slightly side note (though I was talking about plugins before, so it’s slightly relevant), I also added an @reply plugin for comments, which can add an @Name to comments replying to other commenters. Also, the TwitThis plugin which you should see below this paragraph, which would allow you to tweet this post by clicking on it and logging in. It’s pretty neat (though I don’t wholly expect it to be used much (yet?), but I like it anyway).

Oh, Sugasm (#142)

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On July 29, 2008

In Link Carnivals

Time for the Sugasm again. Yes, it’s Tuesday, and that’s when they do it! I submitted… oh, geez, was it just the last post? I’ve got to post those drafts I’ve been working on… well, anyway, I submitted Discoveries of the Domina for this week’s sex(y) bloggers round-up as Sugasm is. This time (for the first time) I included the picture along with the post. Why have I done that? Well, you’ll just have to wait for the next post (if I ever finish it) for an explanation. (changed my mind about that one, but…) I’ve been thinking (as I do) and I’ve got lots of plans ahead… You’ll see (if they ever make it from plans to reality).

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #143? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Interludes – part 3

“He winds the rope around his hands, smoothing the kinks, and I stand there, breathing a little faster, conscious of all those eyes upon me.”

Hurts So Good
“I want you to wear the badges of sweet distress for days.”

Shower fantasy
“You don’t want to admit it, but you want me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Why I haven’t blogged about the Mosley case

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

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Would it be too Sexy?

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On July 24, 2008

In Sex Blogging, Site Specific

Something I’ve been pondering for a while is to start participating in Half Naked Thursday. For one thing, I have my face on the blog already, so it’s not like I’m searching for any sort of anonymity. And I am working on becoming more comfortable with and proud of my body, so perhaps this would be a good thing to start exploring. I know that many of the bloggers that I read who participate often mention that the positive feedback has done wonders for their self-esteem.

But, then again, my hesitation comes less from a place of being unsure of showing off my body and more of a place of where my blog comes from. I’ve been thinking about Ellie’s post on sexy bloggers vs. sex bloggers and I’m really not sure which I am. I think I’m a sex blogger, because I don’t really see my writing as sexy, but it’s definitely sex-centered.

This is something I also grapple with every Thursday, really, as midnight is the deadline to apply for the weekly sugasm. I look over the (usually only a few) posts I’ve done in the last week since the last sugasm, and most weeks I don’t seem to have a good post for it. I see sugasm as needing sexy bloggers, not just sex bloggers. I’ve posted sexy posts before, but they’re less frequent. I tend to be highly analytical in my discussion about sex and sexuality, as opposed to just giving it all out. The last few sexy posts I’ve made were hardly graphic.

I know that I am a good blogger (at least, I like to think so), but am I a sexy blogger? I guess I come to what Ellie came to in her post, that I try to be smart, and I do believe that thinking and smarts and analyzing sexuality is sexy. But it’s sexy to a very specific group of people. Is that bad? I don’t think so. But does that mean that everyone who stumbles across my blog will think it’s sexy? I’m not sure, honestly. Though, then again, that kind of sweeping generality isn’t something that I usually like to talk in. I don’t know if anyone could really say that about their blog. Even those who I look up to and admire all fit within a certain niche.

I’m not an eloquent word craftsfemme, my analytical and nitpicky (Virgo) nature doesn’t always lend itself to beauty in it’s verbosity, just verbosity. Even when I do talk explicitly about a sexual encounter it is usually in a very frank and outright nature, not something that elegantly wraps around your mind like silk or leather and demands for you to continue reading because if you stop the beauty would be lost to you. It doesn’t make you burn with the desire to dive into the situation, it’s aloof and candid.

Again I wonder: is this a bad thing? Obviously for me it isn’t, as it wouldn’t be mine if it was any other way. I definitely feel that my eloquence may come with time, and that I may or may not become more eloquent as I grow and change. For the time being, however, I’ll stick to what I know. Hopefully that’s sexy blogging to just the right people, and sex blogging to everyone else.

Back to the original topic of the Half Naked Tuesday. It’s not that I think participation in HNT is mandatory for sex bloggers, of course I don’t! But the issue/question here is whether or not it’s right for me and for this blog. There’s nothing wrong with it, and, in fact, I think it’s fantastic when others participate in it. I love viewing sexy pics of the sexy people that I read on a regular basis. I think it’s fantastic to show that. I’m just not sure if I want that to be part of my blog. Although I would like to participate, I wonder if it’s something that would add to my blog. Or does it even matter?

Would adding HNT pics change my blog from a sex blog to a sexy blog?

It's That Sugasm Time Again! (#141)

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On July 21, 2008

In Link Carnivals

My Sugasm entry this week was my post on My Femme Cock (below the cut). I had quite a few more people looking at it than my previous ones, perhaps because it is not in the BDSM category this time, but in the category simply about Sex and Relationships.

I missed participating last week, but I barely squeezed in to this week, and hope to continue participating. It is a wonderful way to encourage blog traffic both to and from my site, so I’m all about it! I have many posts in the workings, and plan on spacing them out over the week, so look for all the posts coming soon!

On to the sugasm:

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #142? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Comedy vs. Tragedy

“Are you on your period? What? Did he just say…”

Ian, or, Sometimes Sex is Hilarious
“In short, it isn’t sex blogger sex.”

A Wish
“I wish that you could know the indescribable pleasure of being enfolded in your warm, gentle wetness.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Road Rage

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

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Because That's What All Feminists Are Like

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On July 17, 2008

In Equality, Site Specific

I’m going to add my definitions of femmeinist and fucktoy to the masthead shortly, and I pondering adding “femmeinist” to the Urban Dictionary, so, of course, I took a look at how feminist is defined in there.

At this point in my life I really should not have been surprised at the definitions which were posted, which basically call all feminists sexist, hypocritical, mean, man-haters, etc. all those wonderful negative stereotypes. I really should not have been saddened or surprised, or have thought that it might be any different.

At least the #2 entry reads:

someone who believes the radical notion that women are people.
if you believe that women and men should have equal rights, you are a feminist. there’s nothing “extreme” about it.

That’s something, right? I urge you all to go to the definition of feminist in the Urban Dictionary and vote for that entry and vote down all the other entries which perpetuate negative stereotypes. While, yes, there are those feminists out there, they are not the majority (at least, not in my experience), they are just the ones which get the most coverage.

*Sigh* So, look for my definitions of femmeinist and fucktoy on the new masthead, should be coming within the hour. Also, I may add femmeinist to the Urban Dictionary, but I wonder if people would bash it as well? I definitely will add my definition of fucktoy (on UD as both fucktoy and fuck toy) however, since the definitions there are all degrading. I’m definitely not using it in a degrading manner.

Also, as a note since I’m mentioning site changes as well, I recently added a weekly poll to the top left sidebar, as well as links to my various wishlists (Amazon, VibeReview, Eden Fantasys, JT’s Stockroom, and Extreme Restraints) on the right sidebar under the buttons to my various profiles on other sites. I also added a list of affiliate links on the left sidebar (such as VibeReview, Eden Fantasys, Babeland, JT’s Stockroom, Extreme Restraints, and Amazon) which look rather similar to the wishlist links, of course, as these are the sites I often frequent and also highly recommend. I will shortly add a paypal donate link, just in case anyone feels generous.

Mmmmm… Sugasm (#139).

By

On July 8, 2008

In Link Carnivals

My Sugasm post for this week was Impromptu Ravishment Play which seems like I posted it forever ago at this point. I have gotten a lot of positive feedback on it, even before the Sugasm, and I’m actually rather proud of it. I was hoping it would be featured, but probably not enough votes for that. ;)

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #140? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Flunking A Call
“I fell silent again and tried to think. What did he want?”

Revision
“He seemed… perfect. ”

Shaving, revisted.
“I don’t do it for society, for anyone who will or will not be seeing it. I do it for me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Exploitation, objectification and breaking the law…

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

Read More

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