Purveyor of Pleasure

Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Would it be too Sexy?

Something I’ve been pondering for a while is to start participating in Half Naked Thursday. For one thing, I have my face on the blog already, so it’s not like I’m searching for any sort of anonymity. And I am working on becoming more comfortable with and proud of my body, so perhaps this would be a good thing to start exploring. I know that many of the bloggers that I read who participate often mention that the positive feedback has done wonders for their self-esteem.

But, then again, my hesitation comes less from a place of being unsure of showing off my body and more of a place of where my blog comes from. I’ve been thinking about Ellie’s post on sexy bloggers vs. sex bloggers and I’m really not sure which I am. I think I’m a sex blogger, because I don’t really see my writing as sexy, but it’s definitely sex-centered.

This is something I also grapple with every Thursday, really, as midnight is the deadline to apply for the weekly sugasm. I look over the (usually only a few) posts I’ve done in the last week since the last sugasm, and most weeks I don’t seem to have a good post for it. I see sugasm as needing sexy bloggers, not just sex bloggers. I’ve posted sexy posts before, but they’re less frequent. I tend to be highly analytical in my discussion about sex and sexuality, as opposed to just giving it all out. The last few sexy posts I’ve made were hardly graphic.

I know that I am a good blogger (at least, I like to think so), but am I a sexy blogger? I guess I come to what Ellie came to in her post, that I try to be smart, and I do believe that thinking and smarts and analyzing sexuality is sexy. But it’s sexy to a very specific group of people. Is that bad? I don’t think so. But does that mean that everyone who stumbles across my blog will think it’s sexy? I’m not sure, honestly. Though, then again, that kind of sweeping generality isn’t something that I usually like to talk in. I don’t know if anyone could really say that about their blog. Even those who I look up to and admire all fit within a certain niche.

I’m not an eloquent word craftsfemme, my analytical and nitpicky (Virgo) nature doesn’t always lend itself to beauty in it’s verbosity, just verbosity. Even when I do talk explicitly about a sexual encounter it is usually in a very frank and outright nature, not something that elegantly wraps around your mind like silk or leather and demands for you to continue reading because if you stop the beauty would be lost to you. It doesn’t make you burn with the desire to dive into the situation, it’s aloof and candid.

Again I wonder: is this a bad thing? Obviously for me it isn’t, as it wouldn’t be mine if it was any other way. I definitely feel that my eloquence may come with time, and that I may or may not become more eloquent as I grow and change. For the time being, however, I’ll stick to what I know. Hopefully that’s sexy blogging to just the right people, and sex blogging to everyone else.

Back to the original topic of the Half Naked Tuesday. It’s not that I think participation in HNT is mandatory for sex bloggers, of course I don’t! But the issue/question here is whether or not it’s right for me and for this blog. There’s nothing wrong with it, and, in fact, I think it’s fantastic when others participate in it. I love viewing sexy pics of the sexy people that I read on a regular basis. I think it’s fantastic to show that. I’m just not sure if I want that to be part of my blog. Although I would like to participate, I wonder if it’s something that would add to my blog. Or does it even matter?

Would adding HNT pics change my blog from a sex blog to a sexy blog?

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4 Comments

  1. This is an interesting question you are grappling with. I guess when I wrote that post I very much didn’t mean to set up a mutually exclusive set of choices. In fact the question was more about *intent* than *content*. Are you trying to write about sex? Are you trying to appear sexy? Those two aren’t always going to happen at the same time but I think that they often do.

    Strangely, when I wrote that post I characterized myself as having gone through a transition where I started to get more “thinky” later. I looked through my archives and that actually isn’t true. The 4th post on my blog ever was about Baudrillard. I’ve always been writing about sex theoretically. The trick is (and I think I see the same features in your blog) I ground those thoughts in my personal experience.

    Now as for the practical question of HNT, I think you should do what you are comfortable with. Ask yourself *why* you want to participate and what you think it will add to your blog. Traffic? Readers? Sexiness?

    Of course there are many famous erotic photographers and artists that would scoff at the idea that a photo can’t “make a statement”. Just because you add pics doesn’t mean they have to be MySpace angle shots of your cleavage ;) Why not fuck with expectations a bit? Show us pics of your femme cock or a body part that isn’t traditionally sexy. You’re smart as hell, I know you’ll come up with some way to make it your own if you choose to participate.

    As for Sugasm, dear God, don’t quit! It *needs* people writing about sex that aren’t trying to titillate, desperately!

  2. @Ellie: Oh, no, I know they’re not mutually exclusive, and I didn’t mean to imply that either. But I think that for me they are mutually exclusive in some ways, but not in others, and it all depends on who is doing the reading. Looking at it purely intent-wise I’m definitely a sex blogger, and sometimes I even steer away from anything too graphic or purposefully sexy. I prefer to gloss over the sex (like in your post the other day where you said “I know, I always skip that part” I had to laugh because I’ve been doing the same thing). Although I do have a few erotic stories on here, none of them are recent.

    I think the best way to think about sex theoretically is to have them grounded within personal experience. It makes it more accessible, both for you and for the reader. It’s a tricky thing that we’re both trying to do, I think, be intelligent in writing about sex and bring

    That definitely is the question with the HNT, and at this point, I’m honestly not sure. I like your ideas of fucking with expectations (of course) and viewing it in that light makes me much more apt to participate. I think it’s something I definitely need to think on more until I can actually answer those questions. Hmm.

    And the Sugasm, no, I’m definitely not quitting, but I need to get to a space where I’m not scrambling Thursday at midnight for something that I’d like to submit. And that’s my own fault, really. I submitted the next post (about Domina desires) this week, which I posted quite literally minutes before the deadline, and that’s not the first time I’ve done that. I love the sugasm (mostly because it give me the most traffic I get to my site), so I definitely won’t stop, I just have to think more about what I write (is that possible?). That is, I need to think about when I post things in addition to what I post… if that makes sense.

  3. Ben

    I stumbled across your blog yesterday (via fetlife) and am one of those who finds your intellect and insightful analysis very sexy. Your writing rubs my sapiosexuality just right.

  4. @Ben: Fantastic! I always love to hear that, of course. But, the question becomes: if my writing rubs your sapiosexuality the right way, would adding pictures add or detract from that? Hmm… in any case, thank you for commenting and I hope you continue to read!

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