Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

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Holiday Wishlist

giftboxes

This little meme has been circulating around and I thought I would give it a go too! The madness was started by Essin’ Em who also did it last year as I recall. Though I didn’t participate last year I did do something similar, my XXXmas Wishlist which was more outrageously fantastical stuff which I desired (and got one of) and this stuff is a mix of that and a little more attainable stuff.

Please do comment here if you create a list, or if you have one already and I don’t have it listed below and I will be sure to read it and attempt to help you out as much as I can. I’m broke, though, so I’m going to do as much as I can without spending monies. If you help me with anything from my list, I will do my best to reciprocate.

Just to clarify, I’m not expecting anything from this list, especially the things that cost money. The free stuff I would love to receive but the rest of it are closer to pipe dreams.

Steps (truncated)

  • Make a post listing your wishes. If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info.
  • Visit the lists of others. If you see a wish you can grant, and it’s in your heart to do so, make someone’s wish come true.
  • You needn’t spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn’t to put people out, it’s to provide everyone a chance to spread the joy. You can make your gift or give away something you have that someone wants. Gifts can be made anonymously given or not — it’s your call.

My Wishlist (in no particular order)

  1. Comments, Links, Advice, etc. – Pretty simple and money-free! Comments on any of my posts, new and old, especially on reviews over at Wanton Lotus, my reviews don’t get much love. Links on your sidebar/links page/twitter/whathaveyou, again especially to Wanton Lotus would be lovely because this blog seems to be linked more often than that one and they are separate blogs. Advice on things you would like to see more of or things you would like me to include that I don’t or etc., either here or on WL. I have some ideas about things I want to do, unfortunately I’ve been a bit side-tracked by this thing called life for quite a while and haven’t yet gotten around to them, but I’m working on them now that I have more time!
  2. Hook ups to or leads on awesome (sex positive) jobs – Especially those I could do remotely from where I am now. I need a job, and I would especially love to work in sexuality or with a sex toy company or any other wonderful thing. The trick may be my current location, but I know there are plenty of jobs that could be done remotely. If you know of someone looking or know of where I could look please pass on that information.
  3. Parisian Style Floor Length Skirt from Hips ‘n’ Curves – I fell in love with this the moment I laid eyes on it. I must have it.
  4. Corset Magic Boots from Pennangalan just like last year, I have wanted these boots for years and have never gotten around to actually getting them (could be because I’m broke). I love them, and I think they would be comfy too!
  5. Anything on my BodyArtForms Wishlist, especially these Scarlet Lotus plugs (00g), how can I not want them when they have the same name as me?! Or these gorgeous Bone Hanging Lotuses (0g) they’re expensive but absolutely gorgeous! I’m stretching to 00g right now, but I would still be able to wear these even at 00g and would because they’re so absolutely lovely.
  6. Courtney Trouble’s films which I do not own, the newest ones really. I need to get to reviewing the ones I have. Other than Nostalgia I have Speakeasy, 7 Minutes in Heaven, and Roulette which I haven’t reviewed yet, so I’m missing Roulette Dirty South, Roulette Berlin, and 7 Minutes in Heaven 2: Tender Hearted from the ones that are currently out.
  7. While we’re on the subject of porn, also anything by Pink & White (except Champion), anything by/with Madison Young, anything wonderfully queer and good quality, anything by Tristan Taormino, anything with April Flores (except Glamazons and above) basically anything wonderful. Would be willing to do reviews in exchange for these, of course, and probably would do reviews regardless.
  8. LELO Mona (in red) and Ina (in purple) – The two newest LELO products and the two ((besides the Luxe line and Billy)) I do not own. I lust after everything LELO and desperately want to try their newest creations!
  9. Njoy Eleven, Pure Wand, Pure Plug (any size), or Pure Plug 2.0 – I have a couple Njoy toys, but not these, and I especially would love an Eleven!
  10. Buy something through my Affiliate Links – Good for you, since you’re getting something fabulous, and good for me because I get a bit of whatever you spend. There’s lots of wonderful things you can get from sex toys to porn to books to kink gear, lingerie, etc.

I may add more as I think of them, but this is it for now.

Other Wonderful People with Lists!

Desire for One

I have abandonment issues. Though, really, doesn’t everyone to one extent or another? I think this is one of the biggest issues with poly for me, specifically moving from a V type relationship to a triad, I’m worried that my partners will find something they like in each other better than they like in me and cast me aside. I think this is a pretty common fear, and why a lot of triads don’t work out so well, though there are a lot of other factors as well of course, but this is a big one.

I know this is a fear both my partners have as well. For Onyx I’ve always maintained the fact that I’m more attracted and connect more with women than I do with men and so when Marla came in to the picture he was worried that this was just a way for me to leave him. When she moved here and things didn’t work out the way we all thought they would (and, sidenote, if you haven’t read his post on the subject I highly suggest doing so. I’ll be here when you get back, promise. No, really, go. I’ll wait. … Okay. Anyway.) that was triggered in him even more, because his relationship with me suffered greatly from that as well.

From things Marla has said to me I know she worries about this as well, especially being the one coming into the existing relationship she’s mentioned worrying that we will decide she’s not worth it, or that we don’t want her, or that she’s too much work and Onyx and I would rather be alone. I don’t and never have forseen any of these things happening, but that doesn’t mean the fear and insecurity isn’t there.

The thing I’ve come to, however, after these six or so weeks since Marla moved in with us, is that while there are ups and downs in the frequency of having sex being intimate with one of my partners just makes me want to be intimate with the other, it fills me with desire rather than taking away from the desire I have for the other. Call it greedyness, perhaps, or indecisiveness, or maybe just the way my poly brain works, but it’s true.

Despite having been with Onyx for much longer the two of them are linked in my head, and even though we three haven’t had sex together in a while that idea is still in my head as well, of course, and I look forward to the day we are all able to do that again. I even look forward to the day that they desire to be sexual with each other with or without me, knowing that my partners are happy together is going to be amazing. I’m sure I will still feel a twinge of uneasyness, but at the very least I’m anticipating my compersion.

I find it immensely interesting that my desire for one is linked with desire for the other. I don’t feel like they are not separate entities that I must divide my love between, but rather each enhances my love for the other, that they compliment each other rather than taking away.

I’m excited to reach this stage, even, and hope they will eventually be able to find the same thing in each other and me.

Craving Control and Lack Thereof

Our life has settled far from where I thought it would when I first started this blog. Onyx and I were trying for an Owner/cuntpet relationship, which was originally the basis of this blog, along with erotica and such. We were struggling to work in that dynamic, both of us thinking that’s what we wanted. It just didn’t work. Neither of us are cut out for the roles we were trying to adopt, not with each other anyway.

We have found what works for us, which defaults to Onyx as Top and me as bottom sexually, but basically equals and often me in charge outside of sexual play. This is wonderful because this is what works. This works because this is how we fit together. However, I still want more.

I have all these fantasies that aren’t played out because he’s not the person who can give them to me. This is where poly comes in real handy, because one of the foundations of both of our desires for polyamory comes from the knowledge that one person is not necessarily going to fulfill every single need of another person. If that were true, no one would have any friendships outside of relationships (though some people do this, but… that’s a whole other issue). Most needs can be fulfilled, and for many the way to get the rest fulfilled is friendships, for others it’s other sexual relationships, etc.

Back to the original point, however. Onyx and I work so very well together on so many different levels, but anything more than a Top/bottom power dynamic just does not seem to work. We expect more from each other in that situation than either of us ends up giving, which just ends up blowing up and making us miserable. Here’s to getting out of that pattern!

However, I still have these desires for other types of power dynamics. I touched on this a little bit not too long ago, but I feel the need to go into it deeper.

I desire to serve someone who knows how to “put me in my place.” Someone who doesn’t tolerate my brattyness and makes me submit to them, not necessarily in a forceful way to break my spirit, but by sitting back and letting me know that resisting will just mean I don’t get what I actually want: submission, approval, to come, etc.

Someone who will give me tasks during the day, keep me on edge, give me constant reminders of our roles in subtle but demanding ways. Someone who not only wants me to submit to them but who wants to dominate me, who enjoys the challenge, who appreciates and respects me and my ideas but also knows how to talk as equals while also maintaining our power dynamic in the background. Someone who just feels right. Someone to be owned by, loved by, and cherished by. The fucking and coming and beating and moaning would all be icing on top of the power play connection too, of course.

Yes, I realize this is asking for a lot.

On the flip side, I also desire someone to control. Someone I can do the above to, who I can train to perfection and take pride in. Someone I can own and play with and all that other good stuff. Basically the same as above, but from the other side.

I want it all, of course, and often consider changing my name to Veruca Salt.

None of this is to say that I’m dissatisfied with Onyx and myself, or with what I imagine Marla and I will end up interacting power-wise. I simply want to experience all of these different dynamics. The ones above are just two of the possible ones, but the two that I’m currently wanting and not getting.

It’s strange, though, to be both sated and craving at the same time, but that’s how I feel. I’m at once content and desirous of more. Loving where I am, but hoping, ultimately, that I will find people to fit into the other needs I have in the future. It’s a strange place to be, but it seems my constant state: sated but wanting, content yet craving, happy with what I have yet greedy for more.

Sex Toys and Sex Blogs

Obviously sex toys have become a big part of my life. I think about them at least weekly when I round-up reviews for Pleasurists though usually more because I do my own reviews too, and just recently Domina Doll and I compiled the Best Sex Toy Reviewers 2008 list. This has sparked a bit of conversation, which I am eager to engage in and have already been asked my opinion of. First, go and read these three posts by Sinclair Sexsmith, AAG, and Debauched Domestic Diva if you haven’t already. I’ll be here when you get back, promise.

Good, now, here’s my take on this: I actually couldn’t agree more. They aren’t saying that we shouldn’t be doing reviews, just that we should be more conscious of who we’re reviewing for, what we’re reviewing, and how often we’re reviewing them (at least that’s my take on it).

While I enjoy reading reviews and I do review a lot of toys I have always done it one of two ways. First, I started reviewing one toy a week. Easy, simple, one toy a week, with posts in between. Then, when I started to get more companies I was reviewing for, I moved that to two reviews a week (rarely, but sometimes three), but I had to have at least four posts between them. Why four posts? Well… I don’t really know. But that’s what I set for myself. I thought it was a good number, and I’ve had a lot to write about lately. Sometimes that number didn’t happen, sometimes it was two, sometimes it was six, etc. but, that was the goal. I’ve always made sure to have other content along side my reviews.

There are reviewers out there that just review sex toys and don’t give much personal information or have personal posts, and that is a whole different can o’ worms I think. For my reviews and reviewing I agree with what Kyle said in the comments of Diva’s post “sex toy reviews are icing, but not the cake.” However, this is different for toy review blogs.

When the blog is dedicated to toy reviews then I don’t expect anything but toy reviews (makes sense, right?). I don’t think this is a bad blog or anything of that sort, because if the stats of Pleasurists and my own review blog Wanton Lotus are any indication, people are reading reviews and many enjoy reading reviews, I know I do. I even enjoy reading multiple reviews on the same product, because I think that gives me a better idea about the toy.

I try to pick the sites I review for carefully, I too have turned down requests (though not many, I’ll admit) and I no longer review for EdenFantasys. I’ve turned into somewhat of a toy snob and do not review just any toy, primarily I review toys I already think I’m going to enjoy, but occasionally I get one that just doesn’t work for me. While I’ve picked up some new review programs that I haven’t “vetted” completely I do feel for the most part that I’ve made good choices. I think what AAG said about questions to ask before reviewing for a company is fantastic, and I’m going to take that list, apply it to the sites I review for, and see what happens.

For those of you who didn’t read her post I’ll quote her:

  • Does the site contain representations of people from a variety of genders and orientations?
  • Are women shown as equal partners in sexual play and decision-making?
  • Is educational and safety information included?
  • Will the site accept returns or otherwise make it right if a customer is dissatisfied with a purchase?
  • Are there good ways to contact the company (not just an online feedback form) if things go awry?
  • Is the company responsive to contact and concerns from reviewers?
  • Does the site treat its reviewers well? Its employees? Does it have a reputation for good business practices from other bloggers?
  • Is the site free from dangerous products such as “shrink” creams and anal numbing lubes?

If you can’t answer “yes” to those questions, it’s time for us as a group to start speaking out both in the reviews we write and in the reviews we refuse to write.

We as a community need to use our collective powers in editorializing about not only the buzzy plastic but also the business ethics of the companies from whom we accept toys.

Very smart, seriously. I can already answer yes to most of the questions for all of the companies I review for, but not all questions as further research is needed.

Now, I won’t say I’m not greedy because I am. I’m Veruca Salt. I want it all. I want toys. I don’t want every toy, but I do want a lot of them. I think toy review blogs are valid blogs, and I know people enjoy reading them, including myself, but there is a difference between a toy review blog and a sex blog (well, duh, and I’m not saying one is better than the other), and like the lovely ladies and gentleman I am referencing in this post I don’t want my personal content swallowed up by reviews.

On a slightly different but related topic I’m interested in this gem in Diva’s post from the other side of things (the marketing side):

I personally think this year we will see an end to this over saturation of sex toys being handed out. Some bloggers may have high traffic numbers and sales through their affiliate links but overall these companies are not seeing the returns in sales for what they are giving out. They are going to start looking for different ways to market their products than all these reviews that many people seem to be skipping over reading half of the time.

It’ll definitely be interesting to see how toy reviewing evolves in the next year or so.

My Kinky Stocking from FetLife!


The contents of my Kinky Christmas Stocking from FetLife! Click for larger version.

Near the end of last month I posted about the wonderful kinky networking site FetLife giving away 40 amazing Kinky Christmas Stockings. Since I am a FetLife Greeter I was lucky enough to receive a Kinky Christmas Stocking of my very own as a thank you gift for all the hard work I’ve done over the last 6 or so months of greeting!

I just got my stocking today! I’m very excited about it, and it all looks like great fun. The contents of the stocking (no actual stocking included, that’s just the term for it) is in the picture above.

There are a few things that I either already have one of or won’t be using, which I’m not sure what I’m going to do with yet. I may put them up for giveaway here, but we’ll see.

As you can see the image above is numbered 1-18 going left-to-right. That’s so I can tell you what each thing is! There’s actually 20 items in the picture above, but a few are doubled-up.

There are also two items which are not included in the picture because they are virtual gifts. A six month subscription to Into the Attic, and a six month subscription to Backdoor Bondage!

Onto the contents:

  1. New York City Sexbloggers Calendar 2009 – I’ve posted about this before, so you probably know what it is, or you can tell from the title what it is. I actually ordered one not too long ago, so now I have two! This is one item I’m definitely going to be giving away on here, so look out for that.
  2. The World’s Best Blindfold by Scott Paul Designs – I’ve tried this on but not had the opportunity to use it yet (since I just got everything about an hour ago) but it already seems like a pretty awesome blindfold! I actually don’t have a good thick leather blindfold so this is a wonderful addition to my toybox. It’s made of leather and lined with neoprene so it’s super comfy. I’ll probably review it on Wanton Lotus.
  3. A Leather Belt Accessory Clip and 30% off coupon from Sinvention, a fantastic Canadian leathercraft store which I first heard about from Domina Doll. The clip will probably be used by Onyx more than me, as he wears belts and I rarely do, but they have such wonderful stuff I’m excited about the coupon! I’ll let you know when I get something from them.
  4. Fukuoku Two Fingers and a Thumb vibrator from VibeReview. I’m a little disappointed with this since it’s made of jelly rubber, which means I won’t use it. It looks interesting and like it would be fun (the fingers rotate as well as vibrate), but I just don’t use jelly toys nor do I condone their use so I don’t really want to give it to someone else either. I may recycle it so I’m not just throwing it away.
  5. Bound Gods sample DVD from Kink.Com – Sexy gay male bondage porn! Yes, please!
  6. 20 Lifestyles condoms “because protection sucks but is necessary” (so says John). While Onyx and I are fluid bonded so we don’t really use condoms we are desiring adding other partners to our relationship, so condoms are good to have around!
  7. EMT Sheers and gauze from Boss Bondage – Definitely coming in handy! Did I mention we’re going to a rope class taught by Midori on Saturday (the 31st)? Well, we are, so I’m sure the sheers will be used!
  8. Wartenberg Pin Wheel from Medical Toys – A toy I’ve wanted FOREVER and yet have never owned. Why? I’m really not sure! I’m very excited to play with this, especially over play piercings, I hear that’s fun. ;)
  9. Graves Speculum from Dr. Clockwork – High quality stainless steel speculum! While I’m not hugely into medical play I do find the idea of speculums kinda sexy (when used in a sexual context, that is). I have a plastic one already that we have yet to use, but the cold metal sound like it would be even more fun.
  10. 10 foot custom dyed rope from Ms. Nikki Nefarious with a custom note from her as well! The color of the rope doesn’t come off very well in the picture, but it’s a gorgeous light purple and raspberry mix that is tied beautifully as well. I’m actually loath to take it apart!
  11. Japanese Silk Love Rope Wrist Cuffs from Dungeon Discounters – I’ve seen a few reviews of these and I’m pretty excited to try them. Basically they’re rope wrist cuffs that are adjustable and simple to use. Made by the same company as the Japanese Silk Love Rope I already have. Definitely a fun thing to have around!
  12. Brown 5-inch Toy Case from For Your Nymphomation – Absolutely lovely and wonderful! Can easy store a bullet or something else small-ish. I already have three FYN cases that I just got before we moved to haul all my toys around in. I don’t really need this little one, so I’ll probably give it away!
  13. Bullet Vibrator from Bondage Fetish Store – Seems well-made, but I already have a few great bullet vibes, so I may give this one away too! Maybe with the FYN case since they would go so well together.
  14. Round Triskele-Symbol 3″ Lapel Sticker from RogerMeToo – A symbol known as the BDSM Emblem which is great to flaunt. To people who don’t know what it is it just looks like a cool celtic yin-yang kind of thing, but to people in the know you’ll be letting them know you’re kinky. I’ll probably stick this on my laptop cover!
  15. Chopsticks! Also from Boss Bondage – At first I was like “Er… yay? Chopsticks?” and I wracked my brain for a kinky meaning behind them. Upon consulting with Catalina she informed me that they are not just chopsticks, they are nipple torture devices! What fun! And inexpensive fun, I might add. Easy to make, too, if you have four chopsticks (or just two) and four rubber bands (or just two) you can make these too! I’ve already tried them out a bit, and they can get wicked.
  16. Card from Catalina and John – On one side (the side you can see) there’s sexy picture of Ms. Catalina Loves herself, and on the other side there are two notes to me from Catalina and John. Not part of the listed contents of the stocking originally, but something I’ll definitely treasure! It’ll probably be framed and hung next to the next item on the list.
  17. 4×6 Print of Beach Bound by (and from) fetish photographer Lochai – I absolutely love this, it’s one of my favorite shots by Lochai and I’m thrilled to have a print of it! I’ll definitely frame it and put it on my wall.
  18. Last but not least: The Zeus Electrogasm from ExtremeRestraints – An electrosex toy! I’m super excited about this one. Onyx and I have been wanting to play around with electrosex for a while, but haven’t been able to. I already tried this out on my leg and it feels great, though kinda strange the higher the intensity gets. I’ll be sure to review this one!

There you have it! Wonderful gifts from a wonderful site and wonderful people! Thank you so very very much to the sponsors who donated the items to make up the stocking, John Baku, Catalina Loves, and the FetLife Team who made this gift a reality!

Contests for the items I’m not keeping will come soon. Keep your eyes out!

Happy Christmas!

Like many families, my family doesn’t celebrate Christmas from a Christian standpoint, mostly from a cultural standpoint. None of us are really Christian, per se. Christmas music is huge in our house, however, mostly because of my mother, the rest of us like it for the most part (possibly because it’s one of those family things since mom plays it all the time around Christmas time) but we don’t do as much listening as she does.

Since Christmas music is so big in my family I thought I would share with you my favorite Christmas song. It’s not terribly well-known (read: not overplayed). I usually listen to The Carpenters version of it, but I found the Frank Sinatra version of it on YouTube and thought I’d share that.

It is The Christmas Waltz.

Happy Christmas to all you who celebrate it, religiously or culturally. Happy Hanukkah, Happy Solstice (a few days ago), Happy Holidays to all, and may New Years bring you all the happiness and gifts that you desire.

FetLife Kinky Christmas Stockings!

I adore FetLife. For those of you who don’t know, I’m also a FetLife Greeter, which means I send out messages to new members that are assigned to me welcoming them to FetLife. I’ve been a greeter since the beginning of July.

I became a greeter because of FetLife itself, because it truly is an online community, not a dating site, nothing you have to pay for, and filled with people who truly want a place to communicate with others about all sorts of issues, play techniques, and just about anything, really.

I’m not just here to sing the praises of FetLife… wait, I kind of am, actually. But, I’m not just here to talk about the wonderful site features (of which there are many) or to tell you that you should sign up and become a member if you are even remotely kinky and haven’t already (though, you should!), I’m actually wanting to tell you about the amazing christmas/holiday gift being given out by the FetLife Family (sounds like a mob family–maybe I’ve just been watching too much Sopranos).

They have put together the “bestest and largest ever” Kinky Christmas Stockings! They include:

Estimated value: $548 USD

The awesome thing is that they have five of these to raffle off, and all you have to do is send an email and your name will be entered! Read all the info here!

Oh, right. I’m not only writing this post to let you know about the drawing (though that is part of it), I’m also letting you know so that I can brag. Since I’m a FetLife Greeter, I get to have a stocking all of my very own! Kinda like a christmas bonus! I’m so excited! You’ll definitely be hearing about it once I get it.

So go and enter to win a stocking! Good luck!

Also, remember My XXXmas Wishlist? Well… I got something from it! I’ll be sure to tell you how it is!

Waiting

waiting

I’ve been feeling off lately, disconnected, reserved. The majority of my thoughts are focused on Seattle, I feel like I’m forever waiting for something to happen, and not able to make something happen on it’s own.

I didn’t realize how difficult it is to move somewhere once you settle in with another person. Moving here was easy for me, I made up my mind and left a few weeks later. Bing, bang, boom. Easy. Uprooting the lives of two people at the same time and moving them somewhere new is more difficult.

More than that, since I know we’re leaving I’m reluctant to do anything or get involved in anything or with anyone here. It makes me not want to do anything or go anywhere, and having toys to review and posts to write and a house to clean makes it easier for me to not leave the house. I go very few places, and I do very few things. Sometimes I am contented with that, and sometimes I feel I should do more.

It’s easy for me to get caught up in one of my many many projects and websites online. I don’t mind it, and I get exercise at home, yoga mostly. I have things to keep me busy, but I’m missing something.

I’m waiting to have a life until we move, and it’s difficult. It’s easy on those days and weeks that I don’t feel like talking to people, on those days I crawl into myself and try to make believe the rest of the world doesn’t exist. On the days I actually want to be around people, though, it’s hard to be waiting.

I have all these plans once we move to Seattle. There are places and groups I want to get involved with, stores and jobs to check out, new people and people to get to know better. I have these plans, but I have to wait until the time is right, until we have the money and the ability to move. We’re both ready and bursting with the desire to get out of this city, but still we wait.

Every time I think “I hate waiting” my mind launches into this, the automatic exchange that comes with those three words together, below:

Indigo: I hate waiting… could I give you my word as a Spaniard?

Wesley: No good, I’ve known too many Spaniards.

I: Isn’t there any way you’ll trust me?

W: Nothing comes to mind.

Looking for Some (Stocking) Stuffers?

As you may recall from past posts, my sidebar, or the footers on each post, I am donating all of my affiliate proceeds from Babeland for the month of December to The Butterfly Temptress Cancer Fund. Yes, I’m promoting the fuck out of this, and no I’m not ashamed to do so because any money I “earn” is going right to a good cause!

So, to make your part in contributing easier I thought I’d give you a little mixed bag of fantastic gift ideas from Babeland. Also: if you use the code BUTTERFLY when checking out with Babeland you can get 10% off your entire order!

Luna Beads by LELO ($47) – Luna Beads are wonderful kegel exercisers that come with two different weights that can be interchanged and are easy to use and definitely preduce results! (Read my review – but be sure to click through my Babeland affiliate link to buy)

Pinwheel and Sheath ($25) – For some light or hard sensation play, a pinwheel is pretty much a must for any toybox.

Babeland Silver Bullet ($15) – Simple and classic bullet vibe that just about everyone should have. Strong vibrations and simple toy to please just about everyone! (Read my review)

Babelight ($14) – A vibrator on a key-ring that looks like a flashlight, and lights up too! A perfect stocking stuffer if ever there was.

Opening Up by Tristan Taormino ($16.95) – The best polyamory and non-monogamy book out there! Okay, maybe that’s overselling it, but it’s damn good. I’m currently in the middle of it (review coming soon) and I absolutely love it. It’s such a wonderful frank look at the possibilities of non-monogamy, it goes over definitions and examples of multiple different “ways” to do non-monogamy while at the same time emphasizing that it’s all relative to the people involved and there’s no one or correct way to do any sort of non-monogamy except that which works for you. If you or anyone you know is interested in non-monogamy, polyamory, polyfidelity, or any of the other wide range of relationship styles then this book is mandatory!

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes ($16.95) – (Read my review)

The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book ($14.95 each) – Two very informative books for anyone interested in power exchange. It covers a wide variety of topics and is great for both advanced and novice players, giving an honest look at practices and the bdsm community.

Bo Cock Ring by LELO ($79) – Part of the newest line of boy toys from my favorite sex toy company, LELO, from every account I’ve heard of him Bo is a perfect cock ring, plus he’s rechargeable! (Read a review of Bo by Thursday’s Child)

For more expensive gifts there are also toys from my favorite sex toy company LELO that are worth every penny:

Liv ($109)
Gigi ($109)
Iris ($136) – (read my review)
Nea ($90) – (read my review)

XXXmas Wishlist

Since it’s getting to be that time of year (it’s December already?! How did that happen?) I thought I would share a few naughty things on my xxxmas wishlist. I’m not expecting to get all of these this holiday season, probably only one if any, but a femme can dream, can’t she?

Advanced Play Piercing Kit from Play Piercing Kits.Com which includes pretty much anything you could want for play piercing, as well as a case to carry it all in. I’ve been drooling over this since I found it, and I want to make it mine!

Advanced Play Piercing Kit from PlayPiercingKits.com

The Midori Value Kit in crimson and The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori from Twisted Monk, to better try out the ties from Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes as well as Midori’s own book.

The Deluxe Toy Bag from Protocol Leather which includes: 2 paired Two Tone Suede Floggers, 1 Protocol Flogger, 1 set of Ankle Cuffs, 1 set of Wrist Cuffs, 1 Collar, 1 Dragon’s Tongue, 1 Snake’s Tongue, 1 Protocol Agony Cane, 1 Stinger, 1 Protocol Strap, and 1 Lexan Cane. I just know that Onyx and I would have lots of fun with all these delicious implements.

I also desperately desire a Violet Wand Kit, though they are way out of our current price range (though so is the protocol leather kit, but I can still want them! I have seen electrical play done, but not yet experienced it for myself, but I want to rather badly, and I know Onyx feels similarly.

There are, of course, non-sex fetishes that I also love to partake in, namely my shoe and boot fetishes. I figured I should add a few of those in as well.

Corset Magic Boots from Pennangalan. I have wanted these boots for just about this side of forever (or about three years) and just have never been able to afford them, since they are expensive as it is and also from the UK. They are gorgeous, though.

I was going to include a pair of cute Fluevog shoes, but the site doesn’t want to load. May edit in later!

[EDIT]

There are so many Fluevog shoes I’ve been drooling over, and boots too, including these boots and these boots, but I already showed you a picture of boots I want, so I’ll show you some Fluevog shoes. Since I’m chronically unable to make up my mind or choose just one when it comes to things I like, I’ll show you three! Though I can’t decide if I want the first ones in black or red… maybe both!


[/EDIT]

So, that’s my expensive naughty wants this holiday season. What do you want?

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