taiWelcome! I’m Tai Scarlet Kulystin, the creatrix of Purveyor of Pleasure. I am a somatic sexuality educator, occultist, professional harlot, and gender & relationships coach. This blog is my personal exploration of gender, sexuality, spirituality, kink, and the pitfalls of an overanalytical nature.

I identify as a queer fat genderqueer polyamorous switch and my pronouns are they/them or any neutral pronouns. I spend a lot of my time studying sacred sexuality, sacred kink, relationships, the body, queer theory, depth psychology, archetypes, mythology, erotic neurobiology, sexological bodywork, and so much more. I'm in a long-term live-in relationship with my partner Onyx, and I also have a few other relationships and lovers.
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Collars

Five years ago on November 19th Onyx collared me for the first time. We were in my apartment in Ashland, Oregon at the time. He lived in Salt Lake City and was visiting for the weekend.

We had been together long distance for only about five months when Onyx collared me the first time. He’s bought me a few different leather collars over the years, most of them have deteriorated in some way due to 24/7 wear. Currently I wear a heart-shaped necklace that he bought for me for the holidays in 2007 as my collar.

So much has happened since this collar was bought, not to mention since he first collared me, especially with our D/s dynamics, that I have been longing for a new collar. I wanted a permanent collar, one that would stand up to 24/7 wear. I began looking around at collars, not mindful of the anniversary that was coming up. We have been talking about getting me a metal collar with gems for years1 and I found a different style than we were looking at all those years ago, but a better style. We finally have it in our possession. It arrived in the mail today.

Since I have to wait to wear it until the 19th you have to wait to see it until the 19th. Though some of you have seen it already (cheaters).

I wanted something sturdy, something he could use to choke me with if he so chooses2, and something that could be locked. I got all of those things. It also has onyx and garnet gems inlaid in it, just like we were wanting years ago.

In some ways I feel like we’re finally getting to the place where we wanted to be all those years ago, the relationship we both wanted to have that we just couldn’t get to. I think a lot of that was me, though we both had hangups before. We’re at such a solid place now it’s almost ridiculous.

I’m not sure what he has planned for the (re-)collaring on this November the 19th, though I plan on asking him. It was so accidental3 that I brought up wanting a new collar in time for us to get it right around our collaring anniversary. I’m looking forward not just to wearing the collar but for all it will represent: the rebirth of our relationship after breaking up last winter and finding each other again; his ownership of me and the different flavor our D/s-O/p has taken; our love and our bond which is now stronger than ever, transmuted from leather to steel.

For as long as I can remember I’ve seen collars as important and binding. As binding as a wedding ring, if not moreso, and far more preferable to me4. His is the only collar I’ve ever accepted, and this relationship is the longest I’ve been in. I’m excited to show this renewed commitment to him and our relationship.

  1. the conversation in that post happened before the November 19th visit in 2005 []
  2. since we do a lot of breath play this does not seem like too much of a request, though will definitely be risky, but we will examine the risks []
  3. or at least I was not consciously aware of the collaring anniversary until I looked it up []
  4. I am just not that big on marriage for various reasons []


2 Responses to “Collars”



  1. Nadia West (@nadiawest) says:

    While I wear a leather collar during play (less so lately though) and a lock necklace all the time, I’ve never had an actual collaring ceremony. I hope your second one is lovely. I’m feeling all wistful now.
    Nadia West´s last blog post ..The Next Steps

      


    • Our first one wasn’t as much a ceremony as it was him presenting it to me after an already long night of play while visiting. This one is going to be a little more ritualized, it seems. We’ve talked about it a little but he’s keeping a lot of it a surprise. =)

        


Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Vulnerability : Purveyor of Pleasure by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr 29 11 10
  2. Re-Collaring : Purveyor of Pleasure by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr 30 11 10
  3. KASB: Intention is the Watchword : Purveyor of Pleasure by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr 23 02 11

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