Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Tag: sex work

What Is Sexological Bodywork?

Ever since I decided to take the Sexological Bodywork Training and once I started talking about it I have been asked these questions over and over again: what is Sexological Bodywork? Who is it for? What does a Sexological Bodywork session look like? Here are my answers to those questions.

What is Sexological Bodywork?
Sexological Bodywork is somatic sex education that utilizes a variety of bodywork techniques in order to encourage the client’s whole erotic self to come forth. Sexological Bodyworkers are trained in breathwork, genital anatomy, masturbation coaching, sensual and erotic massage, and scar tissue remediation. We are educators rather than healers. Our goal as educators is to create a safe container within each session so that healing may occur when the client is ready.

Sexological Bodywork has been a certified profession recognized by the state of California since 2003. It was founded by Joseph Kramer and grew out of his work with The Body Electric School (which he also founded back in 1984). Since it’s inception it has spread beyond the California training to have Certified Sexological Bodyworker (CSB) Trainings in Austrailia, Canada, Czech Republic, Denmark, Germany, and Switzerland.

There is an Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers as well as a professional code of conduct and ethics required by CSBs to follow.

Who is Sexological Bodywork for?
Anyone and everyone interested in having a deeper experience of their own erotic nature. Sexological Bodyworkers work with individuals, people in various relationship configurations, and groups in private sessions or within public workshops.

I believe everyone can benefit from a session or series of sessions with a CSB, as very few (if any) of us are fully embodied and having the type of sex and relationships we are desiring to have. Part of human nature is that we change. Our desires fluctuate and our bodily sensations change as our bodies change, as we change. We often get stuck in ruts with our own sexuality. We have a drive to continue to strive for improvement, but often our inner self is scared of change and grabs on to patterns that no longer serve us. Sexological Bodywork works at the basic level of humanity, with the body, in order to assist people to understand their own body and live more fully embodied lives. It is possible to have the sex life of your dreams.

It goes beyond sexuality and sexual functioning, though, as well. Joseph Kramer likes to say “if you want to change your life, change the way you masturbate,” though that also goes for the way you approach sex and sexuality in general. When we are receiving the kind of touch, love, and attention that we need deep down at our core both from ourselves and others we can truly blossom into all that we are meant to be and do our work in the world. That is what we as Sexological Bodyworkers help to facilitate in our clients.

What does a Sexological Bodywork session look like?
There is a wide range of possibilities for what a session looks like. It can be over the phone, on video chat, or in person. It can include discussion and coaching suggestions without touch, witnessing the client self-touch, erotic massage, and/or genital touch.

There is no one right way to do Sexological Bodywork, as long as it fits within the professional code of conduct and ethics. This includes the practitioner remaining fully clothed throughout the session; unidirectional touch, meaning the practitioner is touching the client and not the other way around; and the use of medical-grade gloves whenever genital touch is involved. All Sexological Bodyworkers bring their own personal background, experiences, and specializations to the table creating a slightly different experience from practitioner to practitioner, therefore a generalization outside of the professional guidelines is difficult to make.

Personally, while I have had some talk-only sessions, including the first session I have with any client, most of my sessions have included some form of touch with a focus on embodiment. This has not always included genital touch, but it is one of many options available. I begin and end most of my sessions with a practice from my spiritual tradition as a way to create a container of sacred safer space between us as well as to transition in and out of the session. After discussing the client’s experiences since our last session and goals for this session, we determine what we want to work with within the session to work toward their goals.

reclaimingsexbod

In 2011

someecards.com - Sorry that, statistically speaking, you probably won't fulfill your resolution

This and my In the Year… posts are becoming regular turn of the year features. I wrote In 2009 and In 2010 at the very beginning of the last two years and here is my list this year.

These are not resolutions. Like the ecard that I have featured above I do not believe in resolutions because there are too many connotations surrounding them. They’re usually just wishful thinking or short-term ideas that we tell ourselves due to the tradition of New Year’s Resolutions. While resolutions can be genuine things we want to accomplish they often are just the same things we tell ourselves all the time that we want to do but never actually put the energy into doing them. That’s why I don’t make resolutions.

However, there is something to be said about taking the time once a year to reflect on the year that has passed and to look forward to the coming year. The change of the year is as good of a time as any to do this, and so I am.

These are goals, either things I’m currently working on or ones I would like to do and am dedicated to putting some energy toward. By putting them on here part of the idea is that I am now going to be held accountable for them and I will be able to look back a year from now and see if I have accomplished them.

  • Write More – Yes, I said this last year, but it needs repeating. This might just always be a goal of mine every year, but it’s definitely something I want to do. I really want to write more erotica and sexy stuff of that nature. I want to hone my writing skills by making writing a priority again. I have been lost and distracted for the past couple of years and I finally feel like I’m coming back into my own. If possible I want to publish something.
  • Focus My Projects & Get Organized – I need to figure out which of my projects are going to be focuses and which will not. Right now I have quite a few things that I am working on and that I make money through but I need to set a schedule and figure out what I can get rid of. I feel like I have far too many things to do sometimes and that I don’t end up getting them all done because of it. I need to figure out what I’m focusing on, set goals, and get things done. I need to organize my life and my time. It’s so easy for me to get distracted from writing or whatever it is I’m wanting to get accomplished and especially now that I’m working for myself I need to figure that out. I need to learn to prioritize.
  • Figure Out My Sex Work – So far I’ve been really enjoying camming and my sex work persona Scarlet Sophia. I have other ambitions as well and am trying to figure out all my boundaries there. I very much would like to be involved in some ethical queer porn this year and I’m playing with the idea of doing some ProDominant.
  • Spend Dedicated Intimate Time with Onyx – While we see a lot of each other on a regular basis most of our time is spent with us at our respective computers or watching something and I want to change that. Perhaps setting up regular “date” nights where we go out on the town or ones where we specifically stay in. I especially hope to have more dedicated kinky play time as even though our power dynamic is more prominent than ever we mostly engage in casual rough kinky sex rather than anything more elaborate, and sometimes that elaborate stuff is nice.
  • Attend More Classes/Workshops/Conferences – There are so many opportunities to do this here in Seattle and I haven’t taken advantage of them. My internet learnings aren’t enough I need to go out and take classes, meet people, all of that. My further goal is to actually present somewhere but I’m not sure on what topic yet.
  • Network and Put Myself Out There – While I’m getting known somewhat in the occult community here I also really want to get involved in the kink one here as well. I’ve been such a recluse for the last few years and I feel like I need to break out of that. I’m tired of being awkward in social situations and the only way I’m going to learn how to not be is to go out there and do it. Of course, this requires time, so that getting organized idea above might have to happen first.
  • Respond to Emails Faster – I’m seriously horrible at responding to emails. I’m not sure why, but I am. I want to change this, though. I have been slowly teaching myself in the last year or so to respond to emails as soon as possible, to not put it off, to make a draft to reply at very least so I can go back later without forgetting. I will become better at this through 2011 as well.

Lights, Camera…

Not too long ago near the beginning of this month I answered a post in the Seattle Area Personal Ads group on FetLife (login required) for a project titled Process of Pain for Raise Your Fist Productions. It explores masochism, giving a taste of what pain is, what masochists and sadists love about pain, how we play, and other various things. I was very interested in doing this and Onyx agreed to be part of it as well, as a part of being in the documentary was agreeing to do a scene on camera.

Last Monday Amanda came over and we shot a breast play scene. Onyx pulled and twisted my nipples, slapped my breasts, pulled my hair, slapped my face, and made me come on camera. He also used crops, a cane, and nipple clamps on me. It wasn’t a super heavy scene, though there was a good amount of pain, and we didn’t fuck on camera but I did come multiple times. Amanda said she got some very nice shots. She’s filming other couples for this as well and I’m sure I will post about it again when it is done. I’m very excited to see the finished result.

It’s brought up a lot of interesting things for me, as I’ve always loved porn and for a long time I’ve had a fantasy about doing it, though I’ve not always had the body-confidence that I have gained over the last few years. I’ve been seriously considering exploring phone sex work again in the last couple months, I made a couple NiteFlirt accounts but have not yet utilized them to their full potential, and now after this experience I’m seriously considering getting into ethical queer pornography as well.

I say ethical queer pornography because that’s the only type I would be willing to do. This documentary was a great first step, I think, it proved to me that it was something I could do on camera, and I enjoyed doing so. I have a lot of theatre background and have been on stage and in front of the camera many times so I always kind of new I would be able to do it, but there was always some doubt. Now that doubt is gone.

I’ve also recently been reconnecting with my Goddess Babalon after a slight deviation from her path and I believe that getting in to sex work and pornography would be a great act of devotion to her. She was part of the reason I started exploring phone sex work two years ago as well.

Since filming I came across this quote while reading Demons of the Flesh: The Complete Guide to Left-Hand Path Sex Magic for the Sacred Sexuality Book Club Onyx and I are hosting at our place which first met today.

“The moral pornographer would be an artist who uses pornographic material as a part of the acceptance of the logic of a world of absolute sexual license for all the genders, and projects a model of the way such a world might work. His business would be the total demystification of the flesh and the subsequent revelation, through the infinite modulations of the sexual act… the pornographer has it in his power to become a terrorist of the imagination, a sexual guerilla whose purpose is to overturn our most basic notions of these relations, to reinstate sexuality as a primary mode of being rather than a specialized area of vacation from being and to show that the everyday meetings in the marriage bed are parodies of their own pretensions. –Angela Carter

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