I have wanted this shirt forever and a half, and I finally ordered it for myself not too long ago (though a while ago, but getting it was delayed due to holidays and moving and such) and I just got it today! I thought it would make a perfect HNT picture, so here it is.
Since my other posts recently have been super long, I’m keeping this one short. Enjoy!
Obviously sex toys have become a big part of my life. I think about them at least weekly when I round-up reviews for Pleasurists though usually more because I do my own reviews too, and just recently Domina Doll and I compiled the Best Sex Toy Reviewers 2008 list. This has sparked a bit of conversation, which I am eager to engage in and have already been asked my opinion of. First, go and read these three posts by Sinclair Sexsmith, AAG, and Debauched Domestic Diva if you haven’t already. I’ll be here when you get back, promise.
Good, now, here’s my take on this: I actually couldn’t agree more. They aren’t saying that we shouldn’t be doing reviews, just that we should be more conscious of who we’re reviewing for, what we’re reviewing, and how often we’re reviewing them (at least that’s my take on it).
While I enjoy reading reviews and I do review a lot of toys I have always done it one of two ways. First, I started reviewing one toy a week. Easy, simple, one toy a week, with posts in between. Then, when I started to get more companies I was reviewing for, I moved that to two reviews a week (rarely, but sometimes three), but I had to have at least four posts between them. Why four posts? Well… I don’t really know. But that’s what I set for myself. I thought it was a good number, and I’ve had a lot to write about lately. Sometimes that number didn’t happen, sometimes it was two, sometimes it was six, etc. but, that was the goal. I’ve always made sure to have other content along side my reviews.
There are reviewers out there that just review sex toys and don’t give much personal information or have personal posts, and that is a whole different can o’ worms I think. For my reviews and reviewing I agree with what Kyle said in the comments of Diva’s post “sex toy reviews are icing, but not the cake.” However, this is different for toy review blogs.
When the blog is dedicated to toy reviews then I don’t expect anything but toy reviews (makes sense, right?). I don’t think this is a bad blog or anything of that sort, because if the stats of Pleasurists and my own review blog Wanton Lotus are any indication, people are reading reviews and many enjoy reading reviews, I know I do. I even enjoy reading multiple reviews on the same product, because I think that gives me a better idea about the toy.
I try to pick the sites I review for carefully, I too have turned down requests (though not many, I’ll admit) and I no longer review for EdenFantasys. I’ve turned into somewhat of a toy snob and do not review just any toy, primarily I review toys I already think I’m going to enjoy, but occasionally I get one that just doesn’t work for me. While I’ve picked up some new review programs that I haven’t “vetted” completely I do feel for the most part that I’ve made good choices. I think what AAG said about questions to ask before reviewing for a company is fantastic, and I’m going to take that list, apply it to the sites I review for, and see what happens.
For those of you who didn’t read her post I’ll quote her:
- Does the site contain representations of people from a variety of genders and orientations?
- Are women shown as equal partners in sexual play and decision-making?
- Is educational and safety information included?
- Will the site accept returns or otherwise make it right if a customer is dissatisfied with a purchase?
- Are there good ways to contact the company (not just an online feedback form) if things go awry?
- Is the company responsive to contact and concerns from reviewers?
- Does the site treat its reviewers well? Its employees? Does it have a reputation for good business practices from other bloggers?
- Is the site free from dangerous products such as “shrink” creams and anal numbing lubes?
If you can’t answer “yes” to those questions, it’s time for us as a group to start speaking out both in the reviews we write and in the reviews we refuse to write.
We as a community need to use our collective powers in editorializing about not only the buzzy plastic but also the business ethics of the companies from whom we accept toys.
Very smart, seriously. I can already answer yes to most of the questions for all of the companies I review for, but not all questions as further research is needed.
Now, I won’t say I’m not greedy because I am. I’m Veruca Salt. I want it all. I want toys. I don’t want every toy, but I do want a lot of them. I think toy review blogs are valid blogs, and I know people enjoy reading them, including myself, but there is a difference between a toy review blog and a sex blog (well, duh, and I’m not saying one is better than the other), and like the lovely ladies and gentleman I am referencing in this post I don’t want my personal content swallowed up by reviews.
On a slightly different but related topic I’m interested in this gem in Diva’s post from the other side of things (the marketing side):
I personally think this year we will see an end to this over saturation of sex toys being handed out. Some bloggers may have high traffic numbers and sales through their affiliate links but overall these companies are not seeing the returns in sales for what they are giving out. They are going to start looking for different ways to market their products than all these reviews that many people seem to be skipping over reading half of the time.
It’ll definitely be interesting to see how toy reviewing evolves in the next year or so.
Just out today! Featured on Pleasurists Best Sex Toy Reviewers is an annual list compiled by Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek. Only reviewers who reviewed during the year of 2008 were considered, there will be a list for 2009 next year.
Each reviewer was rated separately by two people (Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus did not rate themselves, their second rating came from a third party). The ratings were on a scale of one to five in four areas: Content, Organization, Originality, and Regularity. Each reviewer got a score out of 20 by each person and then the scores were put together to make a final score out of 40. Those final scores were ranked from high to low to get the list below
There were many ties. In cases where reviewers had nominations the number of nominations were the deciding factor for the ties. In cases where reviewers had the same number of nominations Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus decided the order.
We recognize that this list is highly subjective. This is in no way a definitive list of reviewers, it is simply our list, and you can do with it as you will. We did use finite measurements, as discussed above, to create this list, but ultimately it is our own list. However, lists are fun to have and be able to point to.
We scoured the internet for reviewers. Pleasurists was a great source of reviewers, but it was not the only source, as many of the reviewers above have never participated in a Pleasurists. If you are not on the list and you reviewed in 2008 the chances are we simply did not know about you and couldn’t find you in our many searches.
Honorable mention goes to sites who weren’t included due to multiple reviewers such as Xcritic, Best Sex Toy Review, Sex Herald, and the many reviewers on EdenFantasys.
This is the fifth of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.
Read the first: luna[KM]
Read the second: icecoldbath
Read the third: Nadia West
Read the fourth: Dee
E is a 21 year old lady/girl who is “Pansexual with a preference for girl/lady/woman-identified people.” She is currently involved (non-monogamously) with a boy.
What size is your body?
It is small-to-average. I think it’s average, but most people think it’s small. My pants size is juniors 3-5-7, dress size 2-4, general size S or M. I am 5’4″ and around 110lbs with more thigh than I’d like, but generally rectangular in shape.
How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
Not particularly. I’ve had body image problems for most of my life, if not all of it, but I am slowly growing to love it for what it is. I am not necessarily uncomfortable with the size of my body, I am mostly uncomfortable with the actual dimensions of it and the relationships of various body parts to one another.
How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
It has always been bad, but I’ve been putting a conscious effort into improving it over the last 6 years or so. I absolutely haven’t gotten to the point where I’m happy with my body, but I don’t detest it as much as I used to.
How important is sexuality to your life?
Extremely.
How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
I have always been extremely sexual. At first, I was uncomfortable with my sexuality because everything in the world tells girls they should not feel sexual or sexy or aroused Ever, and I definitely did, so there must have been something TERRIBLY wrong with me (I thought). By age 16, I was comfortable with my sexuality and comfortable in my skin, and I have been ever since.
How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
Extremely. Sexual situations are some of the few in which I feel comfortable as a physical entity.
How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
I mean, I’m a woman. Society’s favorite pastime is viewing female bodies as sexual. I have a a white, generally small-ish female body, which mainstream media seems to be into.
Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
Absolute opposites. I don’t like my body as an aesthetic object because of the way that society has influenced my self-perception (I think), but I am completely comfortable with my sexuality and with my body as a sexual object/entity/being/thing. I’m not sure how this arose, but I’m happy to at least be able to be comfortable with some aspect of having a body.
Near the end of last month I posted about the wonderful kinky networking site FetLife giving away 40 amazing Kinky Christmas Stockings. Since I am a FetLife Greeter I was lucky enough to receive a Kinky Christmas Stocking of my very own as a thank you gift for all the hard work I’ve done over the last 6 or so months of greeting!
I just got my stocking today! I’m very excited about it, and it all looks like great fun. The contents of the stocking (no actual stocking included, that’s just the term for it) is in the picture above.
There are a few things that I either already have one of or won’t be using, which I’m not sure what I’m going to do with yet. I may put them up for giveaway here, but we’ll see.
As you can see the image above is numbered 1-18 going left-to-right. That’s so I can tell you what each thing is! There’s actually 20 items in the picture above, but a few are doubled-up.
There are also two items which are not included in the picture because they are virtual gifts. A six month subscription to Into the Attic, and a six month subscription to Backdoor Bondage!
Onto the contents:
There you have it! Wonderful gifts from a wonderful site and wonderful people! Thank you so very very much to the sponsors who donated the items to make up the stocking, John Baku, Catalina Loves, and the FetLife Team who made this gift a reality!
Contests for the items I’m not keeping will come soon. Keep your eyes out!
This is the third of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.
Read the first: Size & Sexuality Study – luna[KM]
Read the second: Size & Sexuality Study – icecoldbath
Nadia West is a mid 30s relatively femme woman who is bisexual and polyamorous with two men currently. She blogs at Diary of a Kinky Librarian and also twitters as Nadia West.
What size is your body?
women’s size 18, taller than average, chubby
How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
There seems to be two levels of how I look at my body – on one level, I feel fat and I know that socially I’m not considered attractive body-wise. I also should be healthier and in better shape. But on the other level I have no problem being naked at sex parties and whatnot – I’m really comfortable with my body in those situations. I think sexiness isn’t necessarily tied to what your body looks like.
How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
I’ve gotten generally more comfortable with it. I rarely get down on myself for being overweight like I used to – I figure I need to either accept it or do something about it. Feeling bad about myself won’t change things.
How important is sexuality to your life?
VERY!
How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
I keep getting more and more comfortable with my sexuality. I think I’m more comfortable seeking out what works for me than I was when I was younger.
How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
I’m pretty comfortable. Now that’s not to say that sometimes I don’t feel undesired compared to thinner women at swing clubs, but once I’m in a sexual situation I’m really comfortable and not worried about what my body looks like.
How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
Society wants to say that I’m fat and flabby and therefore unattractive and not sexual.
Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
Certainly, feeling comfortable with your body will help you feel comfortable with your sexuality and vice versa. Once you accept your body as a source of pleasure it’s hard to hate it so much.
Remember my three restraints and a blindfold review a while back? Which was also my first video review? Well, as I mentioned in the review and the video, PinkCherry.Com was gracious enough to send me not one of each of those four kinky items, but two so that I could give them away on Pleasurists!
Japanese Love Rope
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Taboo Kinky Cuffs
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Black “Pleasure”/Bondage Tape
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Pleasure Masks
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This is the first contest on Pleasurists, and I hope it will get a lot of entrants. All you have to do is comment over there saying which one you want, why, and promise to write a review of the product after you get it that can be included in Pleasurists. Not too much to ask, right?
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #155? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
Watching
“My heart raced as I watched him stare at me, wondering if he knew I was awake. ”
Hot and Handy Part 2: Handjobs for the Ladies in Our Lives
“Getting her wet has two big benefits when it comes to getting her off.”
“I’m the only woman in the room.”
Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Compassion: Death In A Client’s Family
Editor’s Choice
Crying
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)
Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
Does Legislation affect Porn Fetishes?
Kinklab Vampire Gloves
Lusty Lady Seattle
On The 1st Day of Christmas: Tracey Cox Supersex Bullet Vibrator
Pleasurists #6
Review: Mo’s Sexy Black & Pink Box!
Sex Tips for Husbands and Wives from 1894: Another Internet Hoax?
Sex Advice
Advice: I Fucked His Best Friend
Q&A: Humiliation
What Should a Girl with a Boyfriend Do About Her Lesbo Longings? You Decide.
Erotic Writing and Experiences
Appetizer
AudioErotic – It Never Hurts to Ask
Back to basics
Brush Strokes
Camera Shy, Part 1
Chapter 2
Condom-less
Dreamweaver
Not a real lap dance
Police Officer Fantasy
Razorblade Dreams
Salty sweet
A Welcome Home
Sex Work
A Picture of a Caller in Pantyhose
Another Cockteasing HHNT
Humiliation From My Cell Phone
BDSM & Fetish
Breaking you
Latest Gifts from brock
Limits
More on Baltimore
Rough Beating
Teased and Tortured
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Ask Miss Bliss
Better Barebacking for Bloggers
Melt
*An Oral Confession*
Poly Perfect. Confession #186
Untitled
What’s it Really Like To Work for FetLife
Who Need Latex Fetish Briefs When You Can Get These?
NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Andie Valentino removes her pink top to reveal her lovely naturals
Catalina loves Sunday Sin
Femme Fatale (part III)
Just a Little Something
Red Rose of love
The incredibly sexy and absolutely awesome NoFauxxx.Com is having a Holiday Photo Contest! You can win some delicious queer porn, and who doesn’t want that? Anything from NoFauxxx is hot, sexy, and delicious. I have a review coming soon of them as well!
Win a Free Year-Long Membership to NoFauxxx.Com for you and a friend!
Holiday Photo Contest Info from Trouble:
We want to give you, and one of your friends, one of the best holiday gifts you can get – free queer porn! All you have to do is send us a photograph that shows your definition of “QUEER.” We will judge the photo on artistic quality and content readability – and we will post all of the entries in a special gallery on NoFauxxx.Com!
Here are the rules.1. YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS CONTEST. Please include a photo of you holding up your ID (with date of birth clearly readable) along with your photo submission.
2. Photo can be of anything, but it has to include YOU and a symbol of your definition of “queer.” You do *not* have to be naked, however you are also free to be as naked as you like, and doing anything you like in the photo just as long as it is legal!
3. Please use your own ideas, we’re looking for something unique and one of a kind! We are looking for photos that have emotional content – we want to look at the photo and say, “Oh! This is what ‘queer’ means to this person!”
4. Please fill out the additional questions on the form, such as how you took the photo, what gave you the idea, and what your definition of “queer” is.
Models, members, and fans are all eligible to win. Photos must be self-shot or self-directed, and taken specifically for this contest. Photos from a professional photo set probably wont win this one!
If you are ready to enter this contest, please fill out the submission form now!
Submission Form
Contest Home PageGood Luck!
xo Trouble
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #154? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
For tonight, we’ll forget who and what we are.
“I want to play with you all night.”
Please, please don’t
“It will hurt, but it will be fine”
Rough
“I want you on top of me.”
Sugasm Editor
Radical Vixen
Editor’s Choice
Sometimes You Find You Get What You Need
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Are You a Penis Person? [podcasturbation]
Ask Miss Bliss: Bi and Tired of Being Pressured Into Threesomes
College Confessional: The Naked Truth About Male Bonding
eHarmony: The Battle for Gay Rights in a Nutshell
Kinky vs. Queer vs. Straight Sex
L-O-V-E (the other L Word)
Porn People I Want To Hang Out With
Tie Me to the Ends of Love, Part 1
Wood and lace?
Sex Work
All School and No Kink make Princess a Bitch
Sex Worker Solidarity: Craig Seymour
BDSM & Fetish
At his house
Captured at Folsom.
Christmas came early…or late
Deprived, depraved, fucked and satisfied
Paula’s Story [Part Five]
Sex Camp 2008: Wherein I learn fishnets chafe
A Testament To Douchebaggery
NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Catsuit
Femme Fatale
Iga A (Met Art)
Natali Demore tying Vivian Ireene Pierce Preview
Picture 47: the pet
Sandra Shine and Judy Nero
Silky
Sybil hawthorne trying on a ballgag
Sex Advice
Hot and Handy: Giving The Perfect Penis Handjob
How to Have a One-Night Stand
Erotic Writing and Experiences
Airport Conversations
The Back Wank
Cleo and Lisa
Commando
I want more
Lucid Dreams
My strippers are spying on me
Painting the Picture
So, about Monday night …
Tasting The Sun Flower
Twenty Four Hours
When Nerd Night gets nasty
Wrestling With Eric
Z Part 2 – Blade
Sex Humor
Blast From the Past. Confession #178
Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
404 File Not Found… It’s Not Here, But Angela Is
The Cuckold – Cumming to DVD
NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar Party Post Roundup
Porn 4 Pussies: Crash Pad Series, Volume 1
Sex Toy Review: Lelo Mia
Sex Toy Review – The Zone
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