Tag: interviews

Size & Sexuality Study – luna[KM]

On January 1, 2009

In Adipose, Sex Blogging, Size & Sexuality Survey

From the Boundless Project by Hikari Kesho

This is the first of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The answers have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already, due in large part to groups on FetLife, and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information here.

luna[KM] is a 31 year old female who identifies as heterosexual with bi-kinky tendencies. She is owned and collared by KnyghtMare. Her personal blog is BDSM is Love, and she also maintains a number of other websites including The Iron Gate and Sensual Service.

What size is your body?
I weigh 340 lbs, am a pear shape with a large belly apron. My measurements are 54 60 64. I wear a 28/30 US.

How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
I’m quite comfortable with my body around people I know, but am very sensitive to looks and whispers when out in public and with strangers or new acquaintances.Specifically I don’t like and am very embarrassed by squeezing into theater seats, having to move the tables of booths so that it can accommodate me, or skipping sitting altogether to avoid the embarrassment.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
I remember as a child being humiliated at my size. I was constantly picked on, and while my friends did enjoy being around me, they always tried to pair me with the fat boys, as if I would only be acceptable around them if I dated within my own body size. As I grew up I realized that my size wasn’t so bad and began dressing as if I was average sized. This included short skirts, tight tops, sleeveless or halters and tried my best to be sexy.

Then I got married and gained over 100 lbs. I felt horrible about how I began to look, no clothing fit me right, I didn’t want to dress sexy any more. Sweats and jeans were common attire. Now that I’m not with him anymore and with my Master he has lifted my body image immensely. He cultured my love of sexy clothing, reminding me that when I wear make-up and do my hair I feel sexier. This has resulted in a new pride in my body size and I’m less uncomfortable going out with him beside me.

How important is sexuality to your life?
Sexuality is very important in my life. I feel the most free when I can express my sexuality openly.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
I grew up thinking that sex was something you only did with your spouse and it was very hush hush. I thought that the woman didn’t have to enjoy it every time and that as long as the man was happy, the sex was fine.

When my husband and I separated I was exploring sexual freedom. I tried to sleep with anyone who wanted me. It wasn’t a proud moment in my personal history but I learned a lot about myself during that time.

I’m far from that thought now. I love sex and love expressing my beauty to my owner. I’m a flirt and a tease and tend to engage in these tactics at the most frustrating times! He encourages my sexual identity and I thrive in knowing that I’m a sexy woman to him and can light his fire with just a look.

How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
I’m pretty comfortable expressing myself, although I seem to lock up when put on the spot and asked to ‘show how bad I need it.’ It took me several months to be comfortable masturbating in front of my partner and it still causes a skipped beat when asked to do that.

How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
Society really isn’t comfortable with people my size having sex at all. Someone my size is more a fascination or fetish rather than an acceptable desire. If I dress sexy I tend to get unappreciative looks from people because in their eyes my body should be covered and hidden. Sexuality isn’t accepted in obese people. It’s like we are lepers or something.

Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
The bigger my body has gotten, the higher sexuality plays a part in my happiness and fulfillment. Of course that could be attributed to my partner’s adoring gaze too.

If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information here.

Size & Sexuality

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On December 24, 2008

In Adipose, Sex Blogging, Size & Sexuality Survey

From The Full Body Project by Leonard Nimoy

I’ve been thinking a lot about size in general, both big and small and everywhere in between. Chicory (who I met face-to-face yesterday and is fantastic!) and I have been conversing about it, via email, comments, and in our meeting yesterday, and inspired by Thursday’s Child’s Sex and Intimacy Project I want to pose some questions to all of you.

Size acceptance is coming to be an issue I am passionate about. I’ve forever had the same hangups as, well, just about everyone in this culture. The same negative feelings towards my size. Though it’s important to distinguish between health and size, even though our society does not really view it that way. We are told that thin equals healthy and fat equals unhealthy, though I know plenty of thin people who eat much much worse than I do, and yet. But I digress.

The questions I want to pose have to do with the intersection of size and sexuality in your life. They may have no intersection at all, or you may have never thought of the intersection, but either way I want to hear about it. This may seem obvious, but the most interesting aspect, I believe, will be to see how everyone differs and what similarities there are, as well as being able to get a glimpse of the person within their answers.

Weight and size are touchy subjects in our culture, as is sexuality. Both have to do with the body and have moral judgments thrust upon them. Both are aspects of the self that are extremely personal and also that have strong cultural expectations and meanings. Both affect the way we present ourselves and think about ourselves.

The Size & Sexuality Study is a series of interviews highlighting real people’s answers to the questionnaire below. At the end of the posting of interviews (end date not known) I will post my own reactions to the study as well as my own answers, and how reading the feelings and thoughts of all these interesting and informative people has affected me over the space of the study.

Want to answer the questions? Fill out the questions below and send them to me: scarletsexgeek AT gmail DOT com

In order for these interviews to be what I would consider successful I need you to be completely honest. This is about real people talking honestly about their bodies and their sexuality, recognizing what society tells us about our bodies and recognizing how that affects our own ideas about how we should or should not act. If you wish you thought one way but really think another I want to hear that, not just what you wish you thought.

The focus of these questions are not just on large/fat/plus-sized women, I’m interested in answers from everyone of all sizes, all genders, all sexes, and so on. If you want to answer them, please do!

Feel free to skip any of the general info questions you are not comfortable answering, but please do answer all of the others. The more in-depth the answers the better, but in-depth and lengthy are not always the same thing (though they can be).

General Info
Name (what you’d like to be called):
Age:
Gender identity and presentation:
Sexual identity:
Relationship status:
Blog/Website (if you have one):

Publishing
Can I publish your answers on my blog?
If so, can I use your name or would you prefer to be anonymous?

Size & Sexuality
What size is your body (you can use dress/pant sizes, a general description, anything you’re comfortable with, though remember that not all terms mean the same thing to the same people.)?
How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
How important is sexuality to your life?
How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
Anything else you would like to add?

Feel free to ask any questions you may have in the comments or via email, but please don’t answer the questionnaire in the comments. sizeandsexuality AT gmail DOT com