Purveyor of Pleasure

Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Tag: Books

Queer Magic: Power Beyond Boundaries is Out Now!

Queer Magic Anthology
Queer Magic is real! It’s here! It exists!

The book, that is. And, well, also queer magic.

I’m SO excited and proud to have co-created this amazing anthology with Lee Harrington and the 40+ other contributors. The anthology officially comes out today, April 2nd, and I couldn’t be happier. The book consists of personal stories, poetry, comics, artwork, academic essays, interviews with community elders, and so much queerness of various kinds! My essay for this anthology is focused on the Queer Erotic Alchemy of embodying the Phoenix.

Last Thursday Lee and I did a book signing and class in Portland, Oregon at Raven’s Wing Magical Co., which is a lovely shop in SE Portland that I absolutely adore. Then, on Sunday, we had a pop-up table and signing at KinkFest. This was my very first time attending KinkFest and it was delicious. I left with my head full of some new information and many delicious conversations, and I left with my hands full of new toys to play with! I’ve been acquiring many new toys lately and am hoping to revive my old review blog, now called GlitterSexual. But, I digress.

Queer Like Escaping DefinitionThis week, Lee and I are in Seattle doing the same class The Queerness of Magic, the Magic of Queerness at Cunning Crow Apothecary on April 4th.

On April 5th we will be doing a Queer Magic Book Signing with a few authors and artists from the anthology at Edge of the Circle Books.

We have a few reviews that have already rolled in. The first couple are here: one on GoodReads, and one on Gods & Radicals. From Anthony Rella’s Gods & Radicals review:

queerness is elusive, evolving, pluralistic. So too is the collection of pieces gathered together by editors Lee Harrington and Tai Fenix Kulystin in Queer Magic: Power Beyond Boundaries. They have accomplished an impressive feat, publishing the voices and images produced by a wildly diverse and fascinating array of individuals along the axes of class, gender, race, ability, spiritual tradition, and more.

Buy on IndieBound | Buy on Amazon | Buy from Your Local Bookstore

Reviews: Bar, X, Beyond, Heart

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

kinklabspreader

Kinklab Adjustable Spreader Bar Review Teaser

Name: Adjustable Spreader Bar

Manufacturer: Kinklab

Material: Steel

Length: Eight options between 25 and 37 inches (adjustable)

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read and watch the rest of my Kinklab Adjustable Spreader Bar review here!


xerotic2

X: The Erotic Treasury Review Teaser

Title: X: The Erotic Treasury

Editor: Susie Bright

Publisher: Chronicle Books

Published: September 1, 2008 (Hardcover First Edition)

Page Count: 367

Story Count: 40

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the rest of my review of X: The Erotic Treasury here!


ophoriabeyond3

Ophoria Beyond No. 3 Review Teaser

Name: Beyond No. 3

Manufacturer: Ophoria

Material: 100% Medical-grade Premium Japanese Silicone

Length: 9 inches
Width: 1 3/4 inches (at thickest point), 1 1/4 inches (shaft)
Girth: 5 1/2 inches (at thickest point), 4 1/2 inches (shaft)

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must Have

Read and watch the rest of my Ophoria Beyond No. 3 review here!


heartcrop

Sportsheets Heart Impressions Crop Review Teaser

Name: Heart Impressions Crop
crop
Manufacturer: Sportsheets

Material: Leather and (possibly) nylon for the red color between the crop loop

Length: 16.5 inches (without leather loop handle) 24.5 inches (including leather handle)
Width: 2 inches (striking tip) 1.5 inch (heart)

Sensation: Stingy – 1 (out of 3)

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Read the rest of my Sportsheets Heart Impressions Crop here!

Visible: A Femmethology – Virtual Tour Day

Cross-posted on The Femme’s Guide here.

Femme–an identity that has caused controversy, celebration and ridicule–is now the topic of a two-volume set from Homofactus Press and editor Jennifer Clare Burke titled Visible: A Femmethology. Femmethology calls the LGBTQI community on its own prejudice and celebrates the diversity of individual femmes. Award-winning authors, spoken-word artists, and totally new voices come together to challenge conventional ideas of how disability, class, nationality, race, aesthetics, sexual orientation, gender identity and body type intersect with each contributor’s concrete notion of femmedom. – from femmethology.com

This month of April marks something I’ve been waiting for quite some time: the Femmethology virtual blog tour! Today is lucky enough to be my day, and so I’m sharing some of my feelings and insights related to the Femmethology. Visit Daphne Gottlieb tomorrow for her day, and all the sites at the bottom of the post on their days.

First, a little about the Femmethology:
Visible: A Femmethology

Femmethology is essential—a roadmap of Femme Nation, an index, an anthropology, a manifesto, and a googleology. – Dorothy Allison

Visible: a Femmethology is a two-volume anthology of essays revolving around femme identity.

I’ve been discovering and embracing my multigendered identity lately, but in that multigendered identity there is a solidly femme identity as well, which these books helped me remember.

Not that I had forgotten my femme identity, I just had been focusing more consciously on my fagette identity than my femme because it was new and in a way easier to focus on because it’s more visible (though only slightly). The identities in no way are opposites, they are complimentary, but they are also different. Reading through the Femmethology in a way re-connected me with my femme identity.

The biggest benefit of the Femmethology, in my opinion, is that it helps remind us that we are not alone as femmes. While some of us have many femme friends and a wonderful support system the rest of us do not and we have to navigate the world without much reassurance and reminders that there are so many of us out there feeling the same things. This is one of the reasons I started The Femme’s Guide in the first place, to emphasize that there are many of us out there, and while we’re all different we are also all the same.

I was moved many times throughout the two volumes. There were authors I knew well or moderately well, from various avenues such as Sinclair Sexsmith, Sassafras Lowrey, and Tara Hardy. There were many other authors that I didn’t know anything about, but I was able to get to know something about them through their stories.

Many stories touched me to the core, rocked me, and left me dazed and contemplating my own stories and my own identities.

I feel that Visible: A Femmethology is not just a book or anthology meant to be read, though it certainly is that as well, it’s also a look into each of these femme’s lives and voices, an adventure into different types of femme-ininity and different experiences that all somehow are similar because of this identity we all embrace and inhabit. It shows the vastness of femme while also showing what unites us.

It screamed “you are not alone” to me right when I needed it.

From the Introduction to the anthology: “Femme means I won’t compromise on complexity. … Above all, my femme is not your femme, which is the good news. … Femme means my sexuality, my partner choices, my definitions and my gender presentation might not match your labels.”

You can order Volume 1 and Volume 2 through the fabulous Homofactus Press.

You can also hear Sinclair Sexsmith reading his Love Letter to Femmes!

Check out the blogs below on the associated dates to learn more about the Femmethology volumes:
4/1. Sugarbutch Chronicles
4/2. Ellie Lumpesse
4/3. Queer-o-mat
4/4. CyDy Blog
4/6. Catalina Loves
4/7. cross-post: The Femme’s Guide and Femme Fagette
4/8. Daphne Gottlieb
4/9. Bilerico Project
4/10. Screaming Lemur: Femme-inism and Other Things
4/13. The Femme Hinterland
4/14. Bochinche Bilingüe: Borderlands Writing and The Vagina Adventures
4/15. Dorothy Surrenders
4/16. Miss Avarice Speaks Her Mind
4/17. The Femme Show
4/19. Sexuality Happens
4/20. Queer Fat Femme
4/21. Sublimefemme Unbound
4/22. Tina-cious.com and Jess I Am (butch-femme couple day!)
4/23. FemmeIsMyGender
4/24. The Lesbian Lifestyle
4/25. Femme Fluff
4/26. Weldable Cookies
4/27. The Verbosery
4/28. A Consuming Desire and Creative Xicana
4/29. Queercents
4/30. en|Gender

Terms Don't Dictate a Relationship

I’ve been trying more vigorously to finish Opening Up by Tristan Taormino which, if you don’t know, is all about non-monogamy. I started it months ago but have yet to finish it because I keep picking up other books in the meantime (mostly ones I have to review).

In Opening Up defining a relationship is emphasized, but not in order to box in or pin down a relationship (because the ability to revise or change the relationship at any time is also emphasized) but in order to make sure that everyone within the relationship is in agreement and happy with where it is and how it’s progressing and feeling and working.

Basically, communication is key, and though that’s true in every relationship it can be exponentially trickier in non-monogamous relationships to make sure that everyone is happy with everything that’s going on.

Part of successful communication can be coming to agreement on terms and labels used for certain interactions and activities. I like labels as long as they are recognized as flexible and subject to change. While terms don’t dictate a relationship one can use terms to define a relationship as close to accurately as possible.

Sometimes defining a relationship is a useful tool to use to check in with everyone in that relationship and make sure everyone is on the same wavelength. I’m over-explaining a bit, I realize, but I have a point to make, promise.

The reason I bring this up is because this morning I changed my FetLife profile information from reading “Polyamorous with Onyx93” and “It’s Complicated with MarlaSinger” in the “relationship status” portion and “Switches with Onyx93” and nothing defined with MarlaSinger in the “D/s relationship status” portion to what is below.

fetlifestatus

Little changes on social networking sites like this aren’t really a big deal in some ways, but they definitely do mark a change in the way I’ve been thinking about our relationship that I’m able to actually put that we’re in a relationship quite solidly. I do feel like we’re more solidly in relationship territory rather than the “getting to know you” or “friends who are interested in each other” territory which is where we’ve been for a while, even without the presence of gettin’ down and dirty.

I’m not really sure what the distinction between “In a Relationship and Polyamorous with Onyx93” and “In an Open Relationship with MarlaSinger” really is but I think it has something to do with the stages each of those relationships are in.

Onyx and I are very much set in our relationship, though that’s not to say we’re stagnant or unsatisfying. We’ve been together for about four years and have been living together for over two and a half of that. While we still have our bumps and explorations for the most part we’re really very solid in where our relationship is, which is also why we’re able to start branching out into other relationships. I am in a relationship with him and we are also polyamorous, that’s just how I see it.

Maybe part of the difference too is because Marla and I are long-distance and still exploring the beginning stages of our relationship. To me, indicating that we are in an open relationship also indicates less permanence in our relationship as opposed to being polyamorous in a relationship. That’s not to say our relationship isn’t permanent but it’s not as set as my relationship with Onyx because we are still discovering nuances and facets of each other that are new and unexpected and discovering the ways in which we fit together.

These are just the distinctions my brain is making between the two terms, of course, and I wouldn’t force these definitions on anyone else, they’re just what work for me.

We are still slowly progressing in our own long-distance way, which is really enjoyable and wonderful but also frustrating because, well, it’s long distance.

We’re constantly getting more sexual with each other, getting to that next step, moving beyond the “abstractly sexual” talk of toys and such to much more personal talk of desires and where we think we fit together. It’s fantastic, and I find myself fantasizing about being with her (my latest Microfantasy Monday post was in many ways inspired by her) but I’m also getting anxious for the next sexual step.

Neither of us seem terribly desirous of engaging in sexual activities online or on the phone, preferring to wait until we meet to explore the physical sexuality with each other, but the desire and the drive to do so is slowly becoming more and more apparent. This is definitely a good thing, but also a frustrating thing.

I’m confident that it will unfold in a way that works, though, and really have hardly any doubts or worries about the relationship and how it is progressing. It almost seems too easy sometimes, too perfect for my overlyanalytical brain to handle, but it felt like this with Onyx as well and look how that turned out…

Also, Marla wrote a delightful, adorable, and fantastic post on her blog that you should read in the same style as my five things that make me constantly and undeniably happy.

Reviews: Lesbian, Glass, Burlesque

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Fridays are supposed to be my promotion day on here (though I’m a little late this week), so here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

regardset

Regard Indiscret Set Profile

Name: Regard Indiscret Set

Manufacturer: Bijoux Indiscrets

Contents: Black round hat tin containing black leather tasseled pasties, black feather boa, pearl belt/necklace, and three small round candles.

Rating: 5/5

Watch my video review of the Regard Indiscret Set here!

This is also the set featured in my Black Burlesque HNT this week, so I know you’ve been told this already, but I am giving away a set to one lucky commenter! Find out how here. Comment to win!


meloncrank

Melon Crank Dildo Profile

Name: “Melon Crank” Glass Dildo

Material: Glass

Manufacturer: Don Wands

Height: 6 inches from handle to tip, about 4 1/2″ insertable.
Thickness: 1 inch shaft, 1 1/2 inch head

Rating: 5/5

Watch my video review of the Melon Crank Glass Dildo!


ble08

Best Lesbian Erotica 08 Excerpt

…One reason why I’ve loved the Best Lesbian Erotica series for years is because the stories are always fresh and unique, exposing me to something new in each one…

The theme of Best Lesbian Erotica 08 is transgression. Tristan Taormino describes it in her foreword as not just the transgression that occurs when one comes out as queer and tells their own story, but a transgression beyond what is “normal,” expected, and acceptable. Each story keeps you on your toes, delivering “erotic surprises” (according to the back of the book) and taking you to new heights of depravity and delicious transgression…

Read the entirety of my review of Best Lesbian Erotica 08

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