Category: Sexuality Page 5 of 6

Queer Psychotherapy Conference

On September 4, 2008

Found via Sinclair. When I read this my inner Psychologist was purring at the thought of it. I knew there must be conferences like this, but I had not heard of them definitively until now. Needless to say, I desperately desire to attend, and I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to do that.

QUEER BODIES IN PSYCHOTHERAPY CONFERENCE
www.ciis.edu/publicprograms for more information.

Queer Bodies in Psychotherapy calls attention to queer sexualities, identities, and practices that are inadequately addressed in both psychodynamic and somatic psychologies.

The Queer Bodies in Psychotherapy Conference is an opportunity for LGBTQI and straight therapists, queer theorists, somatic therapists and practitioners, members of various queer communities, scholars, activists, and educators to surface questions, develop theories, share case examples, and explore best practices in this emerging field. The Somatic Psychology Department at CIIS and The Center for the Study of the Body in Psychotherapy are organizing this conference as part of our ongoing commitment to exploring issues of embodied difference, marginalization, and the sociocultural understandings of somatic formation.

DETAILS

October 17 – 19, 2008
Hotel Whitcomb
1231 Market Street, San Francisco, CA

$225 for full weekend
$25 for Tim Miller Event (if not attending conference)

FEATURING

Tim Miller
Jewelle Gomez

Alzak Amlani, PhD
Matthew Bronson, PhD
Richard Buggs, PhD
Randy Connor, PhD
William F. Cornell, MA, TSTA
Dossie Easton, MFT
Karen Erlichman, MSS, LCSW
Zachariah Finley, MA, MFTI
Connie Hills, PhD
SJ Kahn, MFT
Kristin Kali, LM, CPM
Betsy Kassoff, PhD
Keiko Lane, MA, MFT
Janet Linder, LCSW
Connors McConville, MDiv, MA, MFTI
Elena Moser, LCSW
Rev. Trinity A. Ordona, PhD
Vernon A. Rosario, PhD, MD
Shoshana Simons, PhD
Steven Tierney, MA, EdD
Dylan Vade, PhD, JD
Center For Nonviolent Education and Parenting

COSPONSORS

Community United Against Violence
Jewish Mosaic: The National Center for
Gender and Sexual Diversity
Maia Midwifery and Preconception Services
New Leaf: Services For Our Community
Pacific Center
The Psychotherapy Institute
Visual Aid
Women’s Therapy Center

Visit us on the Web!
Go to www.ciis.edu/publicprograms or call (415) 575-6175 to register

Library Request Activism

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 30, 2008

In Sexuality

Found here at Queers United

Inspired by a right-wing blog I read that was advocating for their readers to request “ex-gay” books for their local libraries I decided to post a reverse entry.

Your local library is about serving the community, they want to carry books and videos that their residents want.

They have a suggestion box or email form, why not go ahead and list some good queer political books, coming out resource guides, and queer history books to be added to the shelves?

In addition to requesting new books, make sure to take out the existing books on queer culture so that the libraries do not discontinue these books.

Many libraries have been forced to place LGBTQ books on high shelves due to community outcry, making it harder or virtually impossible for people to have access to them. Speak to the head librarian and demand that the books are visible and available for those who want them.

It seems like a wonderful idea to me, and I’ve checked the Salt Lake City Library for some authors and titles, and was pleasantly surprised at some of the things they have there, though not too surprised as SLC itself is pretty liberal and queer friendly. Best would be going to the library in one of the surrounding extremely conservative cities and doing this, and I’m placing it on my to do list.

I’ve had a somewhat sexless weekend despite it being our anniversary weekend, we just keep doing things other until we’re too tired to fuck. We did buy a fur flogger last night, which is “impact caressing” as Dominus dubbed it. I love it so much, plus it means I’ll get to flog him! I’m a fan. More later.

The Undead are Cumming

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 27, 2008

In Sexuality

“Braaaaaaaaains… I mean, peeeeniiiissssssssssss…”

How could I resist posting the clip from a gay zombie movie as found here on Queerty. When someone combines two of my favorite things and makes them just this hilarious, there’s no way I’m passing up posting about it.

This spoof trailer could easily be viewed in one of two ways: as social commentary on the idiocy of being scared of homosexuals as if we carry the plague or some other sort of disease (like zombie disease), poking fun at the stupidity of people who think that way; or it could be a reproduction of that fear. There is no real indication on their website that I can see, or on the YouTube info, but given that it’s comedy and obviously supposed to be a parody or spoof of a real zombie movie, which have been theorized to all be cautionary tales of becoming the “other” in society, I’d say it’s either meant to be a social commentary, or simply a happy accident.

I think it’s hilarious, and brilliant.

Queer Love, Het Love, Whatevah

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On July 31, 2008

In Gender Galaxy, Sexuality

By Athens Boys Choir, “a gender-deviant, multi-media, spoken word/hip-hop extravaganza.” Found via Ellie Lumpesse and Feministing. I absolutely love it, and so even though many of you will have seen this already, I’m still reposting it for those of you who may not be reading Ellie (though you should be).

Pansexual is one of the identities I embrace, usually pan or omnisexual when I don’t want to get into my definition of intellisexual or my use of the word queer. I’m all about multiple identities that mean the same thing with slight differences.

It also features Team Gina who I’ve posted a video by before, AND who I am going to go see tonight! I’m so super excited about that. Go watch ButchFemme and Rock The Like by Team Gina on YouTube, or go to their myspace page and listen to some of their other songs. I love them. So excited!

My Queer Identity, Or: Problems of Visibility

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On July 21, 2008

In Identity: Queer Intellisexual

Being part of the queer community has been something extremely important to me since I was in high school, though I came out in middle school. I have always been queer in one way or another. I was the fat kid growing up, always the largest in my class, always the one made fun of. I was the outcast. I embraced my queerness, my freakhood, by difference. I wanted to be different, it made me special. I enjoyed it, and I still do.

It was easier to be queer when I didn’t have a partner, or when I had a female partner. Now that I’m with a male, and specifically living with a male and being submissive to a male it is very difficult for me, and difficult to maintain my queerness when in many ways I look very heterosexual. This isn’t necessarily a negative thing, but for me it kind of is. I feel washed over, I feel like my queerness isn’t as easily recognized as I’d like it to be.

Sometimes even those who know my orientation do not credit it because of my current partner. I am forgotten about as queer, and it’s really something that hurts me when it comes from those close to me. I may be with a man, but that doesn’t mean I’m still not queer.

What comes into my queer identity? What makes it up? Kink and poly definitely inform my queerness, because they inform my sexuality and no aspect of my sexuality can be analyzed without the addition of all the other aspects. Really, no aspect of my sexuality can be analyzed without all other aspects of my identity taken into account, including gender and size, which is part of the reason why all those identities are subtitles to this blog, because it’s nearly impossible to understand me without understanding all those identities first.

It’s difficult to be femme gendered and partnered with a biologically male and masculine person and to still be labeled as queer. I can embrace the label all I want, and I can try to make that label known to the rest of the world, but that doesn’t always mean I will come off that way.

I can view the plus side of it, as it means I can walk in the heterosexual world and use terms like “partner” which is the primary way I refer to Master as to new people I meet, and which confuses people or makes people assume that my partner is female. This allows me to get into a dialogue about the term partner, about bi/pan/queer sexualities if I so choose.

Now, this is all well and good, and I do try to use it to my advantage as much as possible. I try to sneak in comments like “Just because I’m with a man doesn’t mean I’m straight” or “doesn’t mean I’m not queer.” There are ways that I can subtly influence those around me, but I often wonder if it is enough. If I constantly have to assert my identity, is it really worth it? But, then again, I have the same issue with my gender identity. Perhaps my identity fetish is just too advanced for easy identification.

I’ve read about similar experiences with other bi/pan/omni-sexuals and queers, and people with FtM lovers, and I know that I am not alone in this, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. I know that this problem will not change any time soon, but maybe I can figure out a better way to deal with it.

My Femme Cock

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On July 11, 2008

In Gender Galaxy, Identity: Queer Intellisexual, Sex Toy Love

Many years ago I bought a terra firma harness (with extender strap) and Leo (in black). I have used it many times (though not as many as I would like), on a few different partners, both male and female.

However, most of those partners and occurrences were few and far between. Recently, while Master and I were in England, I used it on him. We had talked about it for quite some time, but we never really got around to me fucking him in the ass. It was very fun, and may have been one of the catalysts to me discovering my Top/Domina side. Not that one has to be a Top if one has a cock, oh no. I know that is not true, and that is not what I’m trying to imply. However, for me, there was a bit of power that I was wielding due to being the penetrator and I not only got back in touch with my cock, but I also got back in touch with that side of me that enjoys wielding that power.

Honestly, when I bought my Leo he was a butch cock. I was much more butch in high school before figuring out my femme side and embracing it. I really did and do love butch genders, and I really enjoyed playing with a butch gender on my own body, something that I still play with on occasion, I do own a black pinstripe suit and a few ties, I do enjoy going to the drag king side of my personality, as opposed to the drag queen which is my primary gender expression.

So, while I still love my butch cock, he is not quite me anymore. I have also used him quite enough on myself, which seems a little strange for my cock to have been used inside me. Perhaps this is a small point, and I think it is in some ways, but it is what I feel. It’s not that I don’t think that I could use my cock within myself, I just have used it maybe too many times. I love Leo for me, and for packing, and for fucking, but it’s not my cock anymore, it’s a dildo.

My cock needs to be femme. And my new femme cock needs to be scarlet. My scarlet femme cock is going to be gorgeous, and will make my lovers salivate at the thought of it, and it will be my femme cock. My femme cock will have a femme expression as well. She will be fabulous and perfect. And I’m not limiting myself to just one femme cock, but I need a primary one.

I found a fabulous red glitter cock at Cahoots, a sex toy/novelty store not too far from my house. However, I’m not sure how I feel about having the balls attached. It could be interesting, but, may not be quite right. But I LOVE the red glitter. It kind of makes me think of The Wizard of Oz, which makes me want it even more. It is definitely a femme cock. The problem with it, too is it is jel-lee (which I would have to use a condom with, which isn’t horrible, but could be annoying) and I would much prefer a silicone cock.

The other I’ve been eyeing is General. The common problem of both of them is that they’re both rather thick (not to mention General is expensive!). That’s not always bad, and apparently I’m just drawn to having a big cock, which makes sense as it would fit the rest of me. However, I’m sure I would want to use it for anal play quite often, so that could be an issue. I would almost have to have a female partner before I could justify a cock which did not go well with anal play. Both dildos would be lovely for cock sucking, but I’m not sure how much Master is down with sucking my cock. My primary femme cock would need to be not as thick as the other two, but I would want to get the glitter one for style as well as function.

I’m enamored with Tiger as well as the P-Spot and Luxury. Perhaps getting P-Spot or Luxury and the Wizard of Oz (WoO) cock might be a perfect combination. The P-Spot is (as you could guess) made for the prostate, but I would guess that it would be nice for getting the g-spot during anal sex as well. The WoO cock may be best for receiving blow jobs and a nice vaginal cock (with condom). This may mean I need to invest in more condoms.

Any suggestions for other fabulous femme cocks for me to look at? I would like to refrain from the jelly if possible, but I have yet to find a cock as fabulous as the WoO cock.

Obama vs. McCain On Queers

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On June 29, 2008

In Sexuality

I’ve been trying to keep relatively out of election politics thus far, but I feel these deserve repeating. Obama’s and McCain’s positions on queerness.

First, McCain. Found here via Queers United. “A video by Stonewall Democrats showcasing John McCain’s anti-LGBT voting record.” Are you really surprised?

Second, Obama. Found here via Queerty. “Some excited voter – or crazed fan – has collected Obama’s greatest same-sex hits into a meaty nine-minute video.” It made me tear up. This is a change we can believe in.

Jon Stewart on Gay Marriage

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On June 18, 2008

In Sexuality

Simply fabulous, and my last post on gay marriage for the time being.

In Case You're Hiding Under a Rock Somewhere

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On June 17, 2008

In Identity: Queer Intellisexual, Sexuality

You all are, no doubt, tired of hearing about same-sex marriage passing in the California supreme court by now (though who would be tired of hearing about something as wonderful of this, you say? Good question!). However, I will make this short and sweet and just want to send out happiness of all types to all those who have and will participate in the California legalization of gay marriage

Also, the country newly near and dear to my heart (remember: Master’s from there and we just went there in May for a few weeks), Norway legalized same-sex marriages. Previously, Norway had civil partnerships, but did not have the right to church weddings or to be considered as adoptive parents. There are wonderful things going on for marriage equality everywhere!

Now, personally, I think these examples of marriage equality are wonderful, and I believe that marriage is a wonderful declaration of love between two people. I always tear up at weddings, I can’t deny that. I think that any commitment ceremony is beautiful, and I think that it is wonderful that people of the same sex can now marry each other 100% legally with all the same rights and privileges as other sex marriages.

That said, I do have some problems with marriage. It is by and large a religious institution of a religion I am not associated with. I’m not against the idea of a legal contract between two (or more) consenting adults for child and/or tax purposes and things like that. However, calling it marriage (a religious term) and making it basically mandatory for other sex couples who live together for a certain amount of time (as it varies between states) is just ridiculous.

Personally, I don’t intend to get married, possibly ever, though I may be forced into one of those common law marriages at some point, or I would get married to Master if/when we move to Europe (thereby making me a citizen of Norway and making it much easier for me to move over there). Or, if we were to have children I would probably marry him, though I’m not sure that will ever happen. I just don’t believe in the institution of marriage, nor do I think it is necessary for me, except in the above mentioned circumstances.

I used to say I wouldn’t have an other sex marriage before same sex marriages were legal, and, well, that’s not completely true yet, but it’s definitely getting closer. I still wouldn’t do so until it’s legal all over the states, except for the moving to Europe scenario. My other problem with marriage is that it is confined to two people. Although I do not want marriage for myself, I would like consensual adult polyamorous marriage to be a reality, and I think it will someday, just not for quite some time.

However, legalization of same sex marriage in California is also reason number one billion six hundred fifty eight thousand and one to move to San Francisco. Just counting down until 2009, now.

Spilling Over: A Fat, Queer Anthology

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On June 1, 2008

In Adipose, Sexuality

Something I’m thinking about writing a piece for, I’ll have to come up with a suitable idea first, but it would be something I could do. I don’t talk a lot about size issues in this blog, though I have been thinking about them more and more lately, and reading more fat/size-oriented blogs like Femme FATale (among others). The call for submissions was found on her blog:

Call for Submissions

Working Title: Spilling Over: A Fat, Queer Anthology
Contact: spillingover@gmail.com
Submission Deadline: December 1, 2008

Despite the attention given by queer studies to the materiality of bodies and the cultural and social inscriptions that designate them, still a dearth of both scholarship and literature exists around intersections of gender, sexuality, and fatness. As fat studies begins to emerge as a viable academic location of inquiry, questions surface as to how fat bodies, deemed “excessive” in their trespasses of size and space, create even more complex subject positions when compounded by queer desires. This proposed anthology seeks contributions addressing junctions of “fat” and “queer” in pieces that consider the representations and resistances of non-normative corporeality and also writings considering the theoretical conceptions of these intricate subjectivities. Spilling Over will reflect the notions of excess, boundaries, and containment implied by the labels “fat” and “queer” both singularly and collectively. In the form of scholarly writing and creative non-fiction pieces, essay submissions might consider (but are not limited to):

* theorizing the concept of “excess” as it pertains to fatness and queerness
* fat and queer identities; personal narratives; reclaiming “fat” and “queer”
* notions of (in)visibility, hypervisibility, and passing and/or privilege
* intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, (dis)ability, age, and religion
* the economics of the obesity “epidemic” and the diet industry
* fat, queer art and performance; performativity
* pleasure, sex-positivity, eroticizing non-normative bodies
* acceptance movements, political activism, resistance
* the engagement of feminism with fatness
* global, transnational, transcultural constructions of fat, queer bodies and lives
* critical reflections of fatness and queerness in media, literature, film, music, and visual arts
* the rhetoric of fat oppression, fatphobia, homophobia, transphobia, bigotry, responding to and/or addressing hate speech

By December 1, 2008, please send your 2,000 – 6,000 word submission, along with your complete contact information and a 50-100 word biography, to spillingover@gmail.com with the subject line of “Spilling Over – Submission.” Submissions must be received in 12 point Times New Roman font and sent in via Word documents (PDFs will not be accepted). Pieces will be reviewed and decisions made by April 2009. Please note that accepted submissions will be approved on a tentative basis, pending editorial board approval once the anthology has secured a publisher.

Questions can be directed to me at spillingover@gmail.com or visit the MySpace page at www.myspace.com/spillingoveranthology