Sex Blogging – Page 4 – Purveyor of Pleasure

If I Had A Thousand Dollars

On April 16, 2009

SexToys.com is having a wonderful contest/giveaway called Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree which requests that entrants put together a wishlist of items which totals under $1000.

There are many amazing prizes, including the possibility of receiving “all of the toys on the winning entry’s wish list (up to $1,000) delivered free of charge to an eligible winner.”

Read all the info here and enter yourself!

My $1000 Wishlist

Total = $998.53

I have just a small amount left over, though I don’t know what I would do with it. Maybe buy a bar of chocolate because chocolate and orgasms go hand-in-hand.

(Edit) In all honesty, I’m entering this more for fun than actually expecting to win. For one thing, I never win anything, but in reality I know I have lots of toys and will probably end up getting many of the toys on this wishlist before this contest is over. I really encourage all of you to apply, though, because not only is it fun to surf through a site and pick out toys and see how many you could get for $1000, but also because they have some great prizes.

Sex 2.0 Conference – I'm Coming!

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On April 14, 2009

In Introspection, Sex Blogging

I’m so very excited! All the stars have aligned to send me to my very first sex-oriented conference Sex 2.0 which is all about “the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality.” I had enough mileage for a plane ticket to New York City where I will be staying with one of my sisters (both of whom live there).

Now I’m sure you’re going “wait, the image above says it’s in D.C. not NYC, what’s going on here?” or you’re not, but I’m going to address that question anyway: it was just way easier to get a flight to NYC than one to D.C. plus it means my trip can be longer than just a couple days so that I can hang out in NYC!

I’m flying over on the red-eye May 5th and arrive in NYC Wednesday May 6th around 7am. Then I have time in NYC until Friday at 10:30 when I’m bussing over with the amazing Mollena, the fabulous Essin’ Em and whoever else makes it onto the Friday NYC to D.C. sexbus! It’s going to be a blast!

Then, the conference, I’ll be staying in a hotel room with Domina Doll who I absolutely love and am very excited to be meeting for the first time! I’m meeting pretty much everyone going for the first time since this is my first conference, so I’m super excited. There will be lots of fun to be had on the 9th (Saturday) but also the night before, Saturday night, and Sunday morning. I’ll be tweeting while at the conference, no doubt, and posting about it once I return as well (or maybe on the bus back as it does have wifi), so look forward to that!

Once the conference stuff slows down I’ll be heading back to NYC on Sunday night to stay with my sister again, then I hope to make my way up to see my lovey Kat (also Kat of Kat and glen who Onyx and I went to England with last May) and Carnivalesq who live not too far away from each other. I’m not sure how or exactly when I’m going to do this yet, but I want to. I fly back home to Seattle on Wednesday.

It’ll be the first time that Onyx and I have really been apart since well before we moved, so it will be interesting in that respect as well. I’m going to have a lot to do so I’ll probably be able to stay busy enough to not think about it too much, but I’m sure we’ll miss each other terribly.

Who else is coming at to Sex 2.0? Any of you in NYC and want to meet up for coffee/drinks/whatnot while I’m there?

More About Sex 2.0

From the website:
Sex 2.0 will focus on the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality. How is social media enabling people to learn, grow, and connect sexually? How is sexual expression tied to social activism? Does the concept of transparency online offer new opportunities or present new roadblocks — or both? These questions, and many more, will be addressed within a safe, welcoming, sex-positive space.

You can still get a ticket at the discounted rate of $30 until April 16th, then it goes up to $40. They also may have some scholarships available for those poor folks like me.

For more information:
Sex 2.0 website
Google Group

The Sex 2.0 Google Group is where all the discussion and organizing of the event (and the events before and after) is happening.

For a great compilation of links regarding last year’s Sex 2.0 check out this post on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Full Circle

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On April 13, 2009

In a Love: Onyx, Identity: Submissive, Sex Blogging

via www.tendrebulle.fr via art or porn

I always know it’s been a good fucking session when I’m fuzzy on the details the next day or, even better, right after.

We’ve been off for a while, uncertain, not fitting right, just not quite working together the way we used to. The sex has always been great, but something has been missing, something important, something fundamental.

I’ve been desiring to be dominated by him recently, for a while now really, but I have a really difficult time expressing that need. I’m not sure how to ask for it. I’m not sure how to initiate being the submissive partner. Logically I know I should be able to say “would you dominate me tonight?” Logically I know this would be well-received and logically I know he would like this, but I’m still afraid to do it, and so I haven’t.

My discovery of switchyness has in some ways hurt our relationship. I have such a dominant personality it’s difficult to tell when I want to be submissive or not, especially since I can’t seem to express that desire to him otherwise. I’m very glad I discovered it and I’m really excited to explore my Top side with Marla (really very excited) but I also know it’s put a question mark in my relationship with Onyx that wasn’t there before.

I had to explore myself a lot in relation to my roles. It’s been nine months since I embraced switch and I’m still exploring what that means.

At first I thought I wanted fixed roles with individuals, never switching within a relationship only outside of them. I went to the opposite extreme of wanting no fixed roles and to just do as we please.

Onyx and I have been trying to have no set roles for a while now, since about October, and it has changed our dynamic hugely. Once upon a time we were actually trying to be in a 24/7 O/cp relationship, at the tail-end of that I started embracing switch, and that’s when the disruptions started happening.

I have a tendency to focus only on a new identity when one crops up, so that I can understand it and work with it before integrating it fully into myself. My doing this with my Domina side or Top side was difficult while being in a relationship with a primarily dominant person, as one can imagine.

My exploring of my Domina side allowed Onyx to realize that he is a switch as well, though basically a Dom/switch, or a Dom who occasionally bottoms who is willing to call himself a switch. This was very good, and I do still love Topping him, but the last few months I wasn’t really getting dominated at all, or very little, and I knew this needed to change.

I think that working on being with Marla has in many ways required us to reevaluate our own relationship and communication. But that’s a whole other post.

I decided to broach the subject of changing our dynamic yet again two nights ago, though I did it kind of late at night and without fully explaining myself. He thought I meant go back to a more structured and somewhat more permanent D/s style, and kind of shot me down in a roundabout way. I was confused at this, but decided to drop it in favor of sleep and bring it up the next day.

Yesterday I brought it up again, this time I explained better, I think, that I wanted us to default into him being Dominant and me being submissive. Primarily I am desiring sexual domination from him, but not only, allowing for the ability of things to move outside bedroom-only D/s if either of us desire.

What I really desire is for us to go back to similar the way we were when we first got together and were long-distance and seeing each other occasionally in the sense of the dynamic we had then. We had this wonderful casually-D/s thing going on that was at once always-present while also not trying to be anything other than it was. It was rather perfect, as far as I remember. He agreed. We know it won’t be exactly the same but it can be similar. The times we weren’t physically together during that period weren’t as great but, that’s a whole other story.

Basically we’ve come full-circle. In a good way. With the addition of all the things we’ve learned along the way.

I do love it when things fall into place.

So, back to the fucking. As a result of the discussion to turning our dynamic back to somewhat more set roles but also having the ability to change them should we desire we had some delicious rough sex last night that incorporated many of my favorite things including breath play, his fingers in my mouth, hair pulling, face slapping, and some orgasm control. It was pretty amazing and most of it is a blur.

We fucked three times last night, which is something we haven’t done in quite some time. He also used my mouth after getting off work today, and daytime sex has become a bit of a rarity in our lives as well. Evidence that this change is already proving to be a great one.

Vaginal Revolution!

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On April 3, 2009

In Sex Blogging

This is from the seriously fantastic Wendy Blackheart who always seems to have wonderful ideas that I wish I had first (not that I need another project at the moment, but that’s beside the point). She’s starting a fantastic website which I’m planning on contributing to, and I’m re-posting this in hopes that you might want to contribute to it as well!

From her post:

Hello my wonderful friends!

Ok. I’m starting a new project, and I need your help. You being, uh, everyone I’ve sent an email to in the past year who might be interested in this project. If this isn’t welcome, I am sorry.

I’m creating a site called Vaginal Revolution, the location of which will soon be revealed. (Its not quite operational yet. There isn’t anything there) See, I just caught part of a documentary on the BBC about women having vaginal plastic surgery, particularly to reduce the size of their labia. It seems to grow out of a discomfort with what they think of as abnormal anatomy – because they don’t know what vaginas can look like.

Now, I’m not against body modification – I think the changes people willingly and with knowledge make to their bodies are wonderful, and this includes women who decide to modify their genitals in whatever way they choose. What makes me sad, however, is when people decide to modify something as fundamentally beautiful as their vulva because they think its ugly, because they have no one else to talk to.

While I know I’m not the first do try, I want to do my part to demystify our cunts – to share them with the world. We, as sex bloggers, activists and pervs are familiar with a wide variety of beautiful cunts and pussies, and with talking about them, but we’re a small percent of the women in this country who do. So, lets see what we can do to change that!

Back when I was a youngin’, I remember discovering Betty Dodson’s work and website, which I thank for helping me feel good about my genitals – her site had a genital gallery where people sent in photos of their bits to share with the world. I’m sure its still there, and it’s the inspiration for Vaginal Revolution as well – I figure there can’t be too much cunt positivity out in the world!

Basically, I want photos of your vulva. You don’t need to attach your names to them, though I encourage it. I’ll be putting a photo of mine up as well. (I plan to be my flagship cunt. Gotta start somewhere!) But any sort of photo you feel like sharing, please, please do. And while this isn’t geared towards being a wank off site, photos including toys are welcome. Hell, toys, flowers, jewelry, tattoos, piercings, tiny action figures…what ever you want to do! I’d love if you sent a blurb as well – tell me a story, tell me something fun, say whatever you want to say about your genitals, and I’ll put it up there.

Lets celebrate ourselves, our bits, and maybe we can make a little difference.

Please send all photos, comments, all that good stuff to VaginalRevolution@gmail.com. I’d like to keep my regular email from overflowing with vag and make sure I don’t miss anything! :)

Along with a photo, please include: The name, if any you would like to go by, a link to your site, if you have one and want to share, and any stories, anecdotes, comments, etc, that you’d like to share.

If you’re not into showing off your bits on the internet, (and even if you are) please please reblog my request for photos! Send it far and wide!

Toy Intimidation and How Couples Toys Changed Our Sex

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On April 2, 2009

In a Love: Onyx, Introspection, Sex Blogging

I’ve been reviewing sex toys for a fair amount of time now. Most of the toys I get aren’t as couples-centric as they sometimes need to be, and some of the ones that require a partner aren’t always used as much as others.

Since we moved out of our D/s dynamic and into whatever it is we do now (still figuring that out on some levels) Onyx has had more and more of a difficult time expressing his needs and wants. Being out of work and unable to find a job didn’t help, neither did my poor behavior as his “submissive.” That, along with the birth control mess-ups I talked about yesterday really impacted our sex life since we moved especially.

I took a little break from reviewing when I moved, mostly for sanity’s sake, but I returned to it with fervor once I got back in the swing of things. We’ve never really talked about sex toys, which is remarkable considering the amount of toys I’ve gotten over the last many months, and the other week we had a discussion about how they have affected our sex life.

In some ways, they’re enhanced it, but in others they’ve taken away. It always takes me longer to come from Onyx’s fingers than it does from a vibrator or my own fingers (though the vibrator usually wins) and we tend to have sex rather late at night when we’re both already tired so there’s limited time. Because we end up wanting it over with somewhat quickly I often finish myself off, usually with his fingers inside me because that’s what I love.

He had been feeling distant from my getting off, like he wasn’t necessary to the process, so he unconsciously started lessening his initiation of getting me off. Because he was getting me off less I was giving him head less, and so we were both denying the other something because of a sense of rejection. We both have big issues with rejection, so this isn’t something new but something we do work on and have been forever.

Part of this also had to do with the amount of toys I have been getting. It’s difficult for most people to view toys as a supplement to sex or a sex enhancer rather than a replacement for, and Onyx was having issues with this as is completely understandable. Problem is we weren’t talking about any of this.

Communication is key, and I know that, I preach that whenever possible, but it’s also extremely difficult which I also get. Neither of us is prone to communication, rather we tend to retreat into ourselves to try to fix problems and often don’t even realize when problems are happening due to our abundance of self-delusion when it comes to issues. It often takes us a few days to even figure out what’s wrong and then a few more days to start talking about it.

Our conversation started with me complaining that he never gets me off any more (though that’s changed since the conversation). We ended up talking about sex toys and the issues mentioned above, and came to the solution that I would show him how to use the toys on me better instead of me doing it. This may seem like a no-brainer, and he had used toys on me before, especially dildos but only sometimes vibrators.

This conversation happened only a few days after we had gotten the Liberator Ramp (click to read my review) and LELO Bo (click to read my review), two toys that are very couples-centric rather than solo-centric. They were part of the catalyst for the conversation, I believe, as I noticed his enjoyment of those two products and wished that he would enjoy other products as much.

This is not to say I don’t use other products on him like lube, dildos, harnesses and such, or we don’t use products together like crops and other BDSM toys, but it’s not the same. He’s never as excited about even the BDSM-centric toys I get in the mail, but he was pretty excited about the Ramp and Bo.

Point is, we talked. We communicated, after a long time of not doing so. Every time we talk about these things it brings us that much closer together, and I like that. Every time we have issues we always talk about them eventually and I think we’re talking about them more and more often rather then bottling them up and stuffing them back inside or ignoring them all together. This is very good.

Our sex since our talk has been better, as well. I feel more connected with him, more intimate, more engaged, all of which is wonderful. I’m sure we’ll continue to change and grow and become more open with each other, but we both have to undo decades of defense system self-training, and Onyx has ten years on me so he’s often a harder nut to crack and all that.

When Is Birth Control Exciting?

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On April 1, 2009

In a Love: Onyx, Introspection, Sex Blogging

I’m a little too excited about birth control at the moment.

Let me explain.

I’ve been using the Nuva Ring for almost two years now. I’ve tried various methods of birth control over the years since I first got on it including the depo shot which made me even crazier than I already was (depression, mood swings, etc.), a couple different pills, the patch just for a month until I realized I didn’t like it and was worried because I was too fat for it (if you’re over a certain weight the likelihood of getting pregnant on the patch increases), and finally the nuva ring.

I rather love the nuva ring. It’s easy an extremely easy to use and extremely effective type of birth control. Onyx and I are fluid-bonded, so we don’t use condoms or other barriers when we fuck. We went through the let’s get tested and make sure we don’t have to use condoms thing at the very beginning of our relationship and neither of us has had sex outside of the relationship since we got together. Especially since we don’t use condoms birth control is extremely important to both of us. We don’t want no babies.

Right after we moved here I had a lapse in my ring usage. I hadn’t gotten a new ring, I hadn’t gone to get a new prescription here, and we didn’t have the money for me to go get one anyway. This was no good. We had a lull in our sex life while waiting for me to get up on it again. We used condoms during that time the few times we couldn’t stand it and decided to have penetrative sex and we did oral, mutual masturbation, and various other non-penis-in-vagina-or-anus sex (since anal sex can get you pregnant I didn’t want to risk that).

Once we had money again I got back on the ring, we waited the week requisite post-insertion, and started going at it like bunnies yet again sans-protection. Last week came the time I had to remove my ring and today I needed to insert a new one.

Problem is, we’re out of money again and the clinic I went to last time charges quite a bit for a new nuva ring, three times what I was paying in Salt Lake City! I decided that I would go to the Planned Parenthood here instead, which I should have really just done in the first place, and try to get my information from SLC transferred to the PP here hoping that it would be cheaper.

As it turns out, and why I’m telling you all of this, I’m eligible for free contraception with Planned Parenthood! I should have remembered I’m back in a place that values reproductive health rather than avoiding the subject all together, but it’s difficult after living for two plus years in a place so backwards as Utah.

I went in on Tuesday, had a consultation today for contraceptives, specifically the nuva ring and also IUCs (IntraUterine Contraceptives–also known as IntraUterine Devices). I’ve been thinking about getting an IUC for quite some time, and have researched them and talked with another clinician about it not too long ago, but at the time it was way too expensive. I actually got kudos for having done my homework on IUCs from one of the women I talked to today, which made me happy.

Luckily, the free contraception extends to IUCs as well! I actually made an appointment for tomorrow to get Mirena implanted! Mirena is one of the two types of IUCs which has progesterone in her, but no more than the nuva ring, and lasts for five years. I’m thrilled at the idea of not having to think about birth control for five years!

Of course, with any new partners I will still insist on condoms and barriers to prevent against STIs, but since I don’t plan on having children in the next five years (if ever) Mirena seems like the perfect option!

I’m really probably more excited than I should be at the concept of getting this Mirena put in. But the idea of not really having to worry about the possibility of getting pregnant is just absolutely wonderful to me. While the ring isn’t really that difficult to remember to put in or take out on time for the most part having it go from a once-a-month issue to a once-every-five-years issue is pretty awesome.

Mirena also has the possibility of not just regulating my periods like most birth control methods but also of stopping them all together. So, no worrying about pregnancy for five years and (possibly) no periods? Maybe you see why I’m rather excited about this.

So, tomorrow I should be able to get it inserted. It’s a simple (but somewhat painful) procedure of slipping the device through the cervix into the uterus. It shouldn’t take too long, or so I’m told. The only downside is that I’m not supposed to have vaginal sex for a week or so after getting it inserted, though there’s other things we can do to pass the time.

I’ll definitely give some post-insertion information and experiences in the next week or so as well.

Size & Sexuality Study – Holly

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On March 24, 2009

In Adipose, Size & Sexuality Survey

Image provided by Holly

This is the ninth of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.

Read the first: luna[KM]
Read the second: icecoldbath
Read the third: Nadia West
Read the fourth: Dee
Read the fifth: E
Read the sixth: Callaigh
Read the seventh: Emily
Read the eighth: slf

Holly is a 25 year old Pansexual Femme who currently has one boyfriend but is looking to develop friendships that could lead to a polyamorous relationship). You can find her on her myspace page.

What size is your body?
I’m 5″ 7. about 300lbs. I feel (and have been told) that I carry my weight very well.

How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
I’m comfortable being naked (and enjoy it) most of the time. In my daily dress I enjoy looking sexy and wear clothing that other bigger girls might not be comfortable wearing. I no longer try to hide my curves, instead I accentuate them.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
Very much. Up until about 4 years ago I did everything I could to hide my body. Baggy clothes, sex with the lights off. Then I realized that my fat wasn’t going to disappear overnight and I had to learn to love myself the way I am right now.

How important is sexuality to your life?
Very, I love the connection involved with being sexual with someone. I’m fairly picky about my partners though because alot of the things I enjoy sexually requires a good connection and trust.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
This is probably the biggest change. I use to believe in waiting untill marriage and only having one partner in my life. As I got older I realized I could never be happy being with just one person, and that there are many people I could both love and be intimate with…and this is what would help bring me happiness.

How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
Extremely comfortable surrounded by the right people or alone.

How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
As a BBW I feel that there are many people who see my body as being very sexy, but since society still views thin people as being the sexiest many people attracted to BBW’s feel that they have to keep it a secret.

Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
The older I get and the more confident, supportive, kinky people I meet the more I learn to love and accept my body and sexuality.

Size & Sexuality Study – slf

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On March 14, 2009

In Size & Sexuality Survey

Photo via 2photo.ru

This is the eighth of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.

Read the first: luna[KM]
Read the second: icecoldbath
Read the third: Nadia West
Read the fourth: Dee
Read the fifth: E
Read the sixth: Callaigh
Read the seventh: Emily

slf is a 35 year old female who is bisexual and currently engaged. She blogs at Craving More and can be found on FetLife as slf

What size is your body?
I am currently a size ten to twelve depending on the manufacturer. Yikes, I don’t have a tape measure for inches, BUT i think i’m about 31 inches around the waist. (5’9, 155 lbs)

How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
I’m fairly comfortable. But i’ve gained 25 lbs over the last year and a bit, so it’s taking some getting used to. My clothes don’t fit right (squeezing in all the wrong places giving me the most lovely muffin top LOL). I feel much better WITH clothes on than off though…

How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
When i was younger, i was teased for being too skinny. I was about 117 lbs as a teen and people said i was “a carpenter’s dream. Flat as a board and easy to nail” (i was flat – but i wasn’t easy to nail LOL!) So i had a complex about not having curves. I didn’t feel ‘womanly’. Then, in an unhealthy relationship, i got to the weight i am at now, but because he was emotionally and physically vacant – i felt that my size must have something to do with it. I felt ‘fat’ (ridiculous, i know…). When that relationship ended, i dropped 25 lbs within 4 months (i was still eating, but i was MUCH more active). I felt amazing! But now and then a friend would ask, “Are you eating enough”… omg.. yes i am! I love food!! LOL BUT for the first time in my life, i was comfortable in my own skin. Then i met my current partner and we fell in love hard – and fast. Here we are almost two years later and i’m back to the weight i was before – when i thought i was ‘fat’ – but now i feel WOMANLY LOL It’s amazing how much your life circumstances can alter your perceptions of yourself, huh? lol. See, he loves me, wants me, needs me… and more importantly ~I~ love me!!

How important is sexuality to your life?
sexuality is incredibly important to my life. I am a VERY sexual person. I won’t just have sex with ANYONE to fulfill that need – but, i definitley feel like a plant without water when i am not having a sexy time in my life LOL

How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
When i was in my late teens (117 lbs) sex to me was an expression of love. I thought the two went hand in hand – so i was ‘looking for love in all the wrong places’ – i must have had a ~please fuck me over~ sign on my forehead….. (yikes, a string of losers there for a bit). Then i had a couple long term serious relationships. Keep in mind though, that i was an ugly duckling as a teen… men didn’t look at me twice. Apparently, as i progressed through my long term relationships, i blossomed (or so i hear) but i was unaware of the changes (and my partners certainly didn’t let me know they though i was ‘all that and a bag of chips’ lol. So, sure, we had sex – but, i was still equating it with love – so i didn’t know HOW to get ‘dirty’ with a partner. I WANTED to get dirty – but i didn’t know how. Didn’t know if i was ‘allowed’ to be this sweet loving woman and get dirty too LOL Then i was single after 9 years of a not-so-nice relationship. Suddenly POOF – i was sexual…. in a big big way. When i met my current partner, it wasn’t very long before both of us expressed how much we BOTH wanted to explore, but never felt safe doing that before. Well, we’re still exploring and loving every damn minute of it.

How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
Very comfortable. I have no issues talking about sex (as long as the person i’m talking with is ok hearing it lol). My friends often come to me for advice and tips about sex beause they know i’m just going to give it to them straight – and i won’t judge them or laugh at them. I’ve also been involved in some very interesting sexual adventures in the past 3 years involving public nudity (well, public in terms of a party), sexual acts with others present (participating or not), and playing around with clothing and photographs to sort of document this change in my outward sexuality. I’ve been having the time of my LIFE! I’m still shy about certain parts of my body.. but i’m constantly amazed at how i’m able to push those feelings down for the sake of enjoying the moment. That’s it too – enjoying the moment. I let far too many moments slip me by in the past because of one worry or fear or another. Not any more ;)

How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
hmmm… honestly, i think society is ok with it. Well, with seeing my particular brand of body as sexual. The body i have NOW i mean. Not the 117 body i had before.

Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
Yes, I have LOL My body shape had less to do with my sexuality than one might imagine. I think that life conditions and mind-set at any given moment had much more to do with my sexuality than my body. I just wish i knew then what i know now – because i would have started having fun much earlier. (and age… time on this earth has a major part to play because it provided me with the experiences necessary to see all of this and to adapt accordingly lol)

Anything else you would like to add?
Just one point. I would be MUCH more happy with the size i am now (or any size for that matter) had my stomach not bore the brunt of having three children. The stretchmarks and the strethched skin look so much worse as my weight goes up. I see these amazing women of ALL sizes and the ONE thing i covet the most in them is their smoooooth stomach skin. My stomach’s ‘condition’ has proven to be the most difficult thing to deal with for me (i’m still not ‘over it’) LOL

The Best Laid Plans

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On March 6, 2009

In a Love: Onyx, Sex Blogging, Smut

Found at Romeo Tees (yes, it’s a shirt you can buy! I want one)

I love anal sex. I really don’t say that enough on here I think. I love giving it, receiving it, just about anything about it. Well, I don’t like when it’s messy, but I don’t get upset when it is because that’s part of it. Obviously when you’re playing with the backdoor there is always the possibility of shit, and while I’m not into that I just roll with it and always keep tissues handy. Wendy Blackheart actually has a wonderful post about shit and anal sex called shit happens on her awesome anal-sex oriented site Ask the Ass Bandit, but I digress.

Onyx feels much the same way as I do about anal sex. In a way it’s one of the things that brought us together, or at least was a big part of our relationship, as much of our online relationship was played out in an anal sex channel on irc.bondage.com. He’s actually quite an anal slut when the mood strikes, as I am. We both enjoy giving and receiving, which makes it that much more fun.

Despite both of us loving anal we don’t do it as often as we might want. It takes quite a bit of preparation and forethought, which we don’t usually have when we fuck. Usually it’s just an impulse when we do it and not planned out.

The last few nights we’ve been talking about me fucking his ass. Ever since I got Brando, really, we’ve been talking about it, though not talking about me fucking his ass with Brando because that prospect was a little too intimidating. Neither of us have the courage to take Brando anally yet, though I think it’ll happen sometime, but that’s another story.

Since we’d been talking about it for a while, last night while we were settling down to bed, Onyx brought it up again, and I told him to go get the required assistants, specifically one of my harnesses and whatever dildo he had a preference toward. He came back with Boy Butter, my Hardcore Harness, Bandito, Celestial Perfection, and Tantus G-Force Wand. The last one isn’t harness compatible, but is great for fucking with because of it’s extended handle.

I did a few things to clean up and then instructed him to get on the bed (futon). He knelt and then moved to all fours, moved a pillow under his chest to facilitate his position before letting his head fall to the bed, resting on his hands. As I watched I slipped the Celestial Perfection into my harness and then slipped the harness on. I wasn’t going to fuck his ass right away, I would first use my fingers to open him up, but I wanted to be ready to fuck when we got there.

My Rubber Whip was lying on the floor in front of him, so I instructed him to hand it to me. I lightly began slapping his ass with the whip, trailing the soft falls across his back, and lightly teasing his balls with the strands. He’s not big into pain, and though the whip can sting if used hard, I was being sure to be light, using the sensation play to heighten his excitement.

I lubed up his ass and my finger with the Boy Butter and began working it in and out, slowly and surely, as he moaned and writhed before me. I added a second finger, then a third, adding little bits of lube each time a new finger was inserted. I remarked on how much of an anal slut he was being, and occasionally stroked his cock or massaged his balls. Whenever he started to tense I made him squeeze his ass around my fingers and then release completely.

When I added a fourth finger he tensed and pulled forward so my fingers pulled out, letting me know that had hurt. I worked back up from one again and added more lube before adding the fourth finger, but was able to get all four in easily that time, and he liked it. He was pushing back against the fingers as I moved them in and out. I asked him how many fingers he thought I had in.

“Three?” He asked curiously.

“Nope. Four.”

“Wow.”

I grinned and moved them a little more intently in his ass, my other hand squirting a bit of the lube onto my cock as I did, getting ready to fuck him with the silicone that was now transformed into my pearly white cock.

I had already made sure the curve of the cock was going to be at the right angle to get at his prostate, so I started slowly inserting. He pulled forward suddenly, letting me know that it hurt for some reason. This also popped my cock out of my harness, which was annoying, the base is pretty thin and went right with him when he jerked his hips. I added more lube, tried again with the cock out of the harness, and again it hurt. We tried a third time, got farther in, but it just wasn’t working right.

We paused for a few moments and decided to try Bandito instead. I loosened the harness so I could slip Bandito in, during which time one of the straps came undone completely because I had pulled too hard (it has tighteners like the ones on backpacks to make the shoulder straps longer/shorter) and I had to take it off and lace it back the right way before putting it back on again.

While I was doing that, Onyx remarked that perhaps the position was the issue, and decided to move onto his back instead. I went and grabbed my sling which helps the bottom keep their legs in the air more easily so that he would be more comfortable in that position.

I again started with my fingers while stroking the lube into my Bandito with my other hand, getting him back to the point of being open for my cock before going to insert it. It hurt again. We decided that maybe he hadn’t cleared his backdoor completely, though he had gone before we started to try and avoid this problem, so he went into the bathroom to do this.

He came out a bit later, claiming something wasn’t quite right, and we should maybe wait for another time. I’ve had the same experience before, having anal be unexpectedly painful and just not feel right, so I understood. We cleaned up, snuggled a bit, and ended the night with me getting fucked doggy style instead, though not in the ass.

Even when you’re thoughtful and ready for anal, sometimes it just doesn’t work for whatever reason. We will try again, though, soon, and next time it’ll work. Or so we hope.

Toy Reviewing Changes

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On March 4, 2009

In Sex Blogging, Sex Toy Love, Site Specific

Made by me.

Taking a tip from Bad Bad Girl I’m actually going to be changing around the way I do toy reviews on this blog.

Not too long ago I acquired WantonLotus.com and cross-posted all my reviews there. In the last few Pleasurists I have been linking to reviews on Wanton Lotus as opposed to here, kind of slowly transitioning my reviews from here to there, in a way. Now I have decided to do more than that.

While I will post on here with reviewed toys once a week it will be a brief summary of the toys I have reviewed, no more than three a week and probably more like two. I will list some of the basic elements of the toy and a link to the toy site but leave it to you to decide if you would like to go over to Wanton Lotus and read the entire review. I know many people will, just as I do this with Bad Bad Girl on her BBG Toys site.

Basically doing this will enable me to post multiple reviews on that site, possibly scheduling them to come out Mon-Wed-Fri or Tues-Wed-Thurs or something like that and not worry about having this site taken over by toy reviews.

Though I have been thinking about doing this for quite a while, as I have had Wanton Lotus for quite some time and that was part of the idea for getting the site, the catalyst for this was my post on Sex Toys and Sex Blogs. Like I said on there:

While I enjoy reading reviews and I do review a lot of toys I have always done it one of two ways. First, I started reviewing one toy a week. Easy, simple, one toy a week, with posts in between. Then, when I started to get more companies I was reviewing for, I moved that to two reviews a week (rarely, but sometimes three), but I had to have at least four posts between them. Why four posts? Well… I don’t really know. But that’s what I set for myself. I thought it was a good number, and I’ve had a lot to write about lately. Sometimes that number didn’t happen, sometimes it was two, sometimes it was six, etc. but, that was the goal. I’ve always made sure to have other content along side my reviews.

But now this method isn’t working for me, mostly because I’ve had writers block lately and have been unable to sit down and write the way I want and need to. I’ve also been busy exploring a new city and looking for a job, so I haven’t been writing as much even when I can write.

I also have more and more products that I want to review. Not just toys that are sent to me, though those are definitely a big part of it, but also books I read and older toys that I have. I have this desire to have a somewhat comprehensive idea of what is in my toybox represented by my reviews. I want to re-write some of my older reviews to be better and more comprehensive.

In addition to toy-specific posts I also want to start writing some Toy Info 101 posts as well, such as Material Safety, How to Choose a Toy, Floggers 101, Harnesses 101, etc. I know there are other sites who have articles like this, but these would be mine. I also want to write non toy-oriented ones for this site, but that’s a whole different topic.

Why do I want to do all this? Because I think reviews are important. I enjoy reading reviews and think that others enjoy reading them too. I think that they’re helpful for people who buy toys to get a good idea of products. Sure, there are lots of toy reviews saturating the sex blogging world right now, but I have a passion for toys, and I’m happy to exploit the opportunity to test out more toys, learn about toys, and share that knowledge with others.

Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Category: Sex Blogging Page 4 of 8

If I Had A Thousand Dollars

Sex 2.0 Conference – I'm Coming!

Full Circle

Vaginal Revolution!

Toy Intimidation and How Couples Toys Changed Our Sex

When Is Birth Control Exciting?

Size & Sexuality Study – Holly

Size & Sexuality Study – slf

The Best Laid Plans

Toy Reviewing Changes