I’ve never been one to be huge on stats. Although I definitely think they’re interesting and I love looking around at who got to my sites from where and what they looked at I don’t care much for numbers. I would rather have dedicated readers that care and comment then hundreds of readers who only sort of pay attention. For that matter, even if I didn’t have anyone reading this blog I would still be writing it, because it’s as much for me as it is for you… or maybe more for me.
Lately I’ve not been writing as much as I had been previously, basically since my relationship with Marla really took off. I regret that and really wish I had been posting more stuff about not just our relationship but also my everyday life and what is going on. Part of the reason I haven’t is I’m not sure what I want to reveal and what I don’t. When Onyx and I used to have issues I would voice them here, but in the last year or so I’ve tended to sugarcoat things more often than not, afraid that something will be taken the wrong way or taken as a constant even if it is a passing annoyance.
This is the trap of publishing something, even online. Once it’s down in text and out there for anyone to see it becomes more difficult to take back just by nature of being out there. Language is powerful, as I have preached before in other circumstances, but I think I’m overthinking things, as per usual. I need an outlet of some kind, and writing is the easiest way for me to do that.
So I’m going to try to write like noone is reading, write for myself rather than anyone else. I’ve been contemplating utilizing the password protection feature of wordpress, or even my livejournal which has sat practically unused since I started this blog, but that doesn’t appeal to me as much as having an open and honest space to spill my inner monologue and just get it out there. I’m just worried that a mind dump will be detrimental rather than helpful because it will do lasting damage that outweighs the satisfaction of getting my feelings out there. Then again, this may not be a bad thing.
Granted, this has never been a complete dumping ground for my random thoughts, I do have structure and I do keep in mind that these words are read, and I have often avoided more personal subjects (relatively speaking, as sex and relationships are definitely personal but a personal of a different kind. However, I have a tendency to hold everything in until I explode and I don’t want to do that. I just need to figure out the best way to do that.
Kathryn
Just wanted to say I am a dedicated reader. You are the first sex toy reviewer I read and because of pleasurists I started a review blog, been slow on keeping it up but I regularly post on a personal friends only blog at LJ. I follow you onyx and marla on twitter. Diversity is important and you add a whole other spark of thought to my over active mind. i hope the triad works for you because it is obvious you each mean so much to the other.
Angel
Ah. how I can relate to that – Write Like Noone is Reading.
That’s how I write my own blog, all the time. I need to let these angels and demons out that roam around inside of me. Just have to.
But I do understand what you mean when you say you are careful about sharing the personal, even though we write clearly about sex and other wonderful things. There is a huge chunk of my personal life that is never written about in my blog.
I flirted with the thoughts of passwords and all that as well.
But you know what? I think we have this enormous need to let our thoughts just fly out freely. we need to see them on the public landscape. If we didn’t have that deep intricate need inside ourselves, we would not be bloggers. We would only be journal writers, keeping the vital words about our journeys trapped with the constricts of our PCs, words which would never see the light of day.
No, we need to blog. We need the words to get out.
Something deep and strong inside must be satisfied by this deliberate exposure.
Its a part of us, so let’s celebrate it today.
Angel :)
.-= Angel´s last blog ..the body symphony =-.
Wilhelmina
i’ve definitely given a lot of thought to this too. i agree with you about having a few dedicated followers that actually interact with me than a ton who kinda skim over everything.
for me it’s a balance between readability and honesty. since it’s my blog, i’m going to be true to myself and write about what i care about, but i do take the care to make my writing style appealing and less garrulous/incoherent than it is in my journals.
.-= Wilhelmina´s last blog ..Big Bad Contest =-.