taiWelcome! I’m Tai Scarlet Kulystin, the creatrix of Purveyor of Pleasure. I am a somatic sexuality educator, occultist, professional harlot, and gender & relationships coach. This blog is my personal exploration of gender, sexuality, spirituality, kink, and the pitfalls of an overanalytical nature.

I identify as a queer fat genderqueer polyamorous switch and prefer the pronouns ne/nem/nir or they/them. I spend a lot of my time thinking about sacred sexuality, sacred kink, relationships, the body, queer theory, depth psychology, erotic psychology, sexological bodywork, and so much more. I'm in a long-term live-in relationship with my partner Onyx, and I also have a few other relationships and lovers.
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06.19

2008

The Perfect Cure for Grumpyness

The other day I was in a kind of grumpy place, I have been a few days this week, actually, and I’m not completely sure why. Though when I get grumpy, I often get needy. Not that regular kind of emotionally needy, or just regularly physically needy, but a deep desire to be dominated like I’ve written about before. I’m not always sure what triggers this. Sometimes it’s a bad day, sometimes it’s just lack of getting it, a lapse in regular play, and sometimes my paranoid and overanalyzing nature gets the better of my mood.

I hadn’t been tied up for quite some time. I was working on my computer, lying naked on my stomach on the bed with my laptop in front of me, and Master came in to straddle me from behind, he ground his cock into me and we exchanged a few teasing words.

Though I was wearing a robe, and he had on his pants, I could feel the semi-hardness of him grinding against my ass. I asked him if he was going to fuck me, and he told me that he was going to tease me for a while first. I asked him if he would tie me up when he did it.

Later he came back into the room, this time I was naked as it had been hot and the fan I had going wasn’t quite enough to cool me down. He started playing with me teasingly, straddled me again and grabbed at my wrists, holding them behind my back so that he could wind the bondage tape around them.

From there I was helpless. I fake-struggled for a bit, testing my bonds, as he slid his fingers into me, testing me, preparing me for him. He fucked me, while slapping my ass, grabbing my hair, using my bound wrists to pull me back onto him, doing all the little things which drive me wild.

The entirety and details of the experience are more of a blur than anything. Being bound and fucked is something which will put me in an almost immediate state of submission, taking me down into my fantasies.

I think it is the automatic feeling of helplessness which does it, an automatic overpowering that I can feel in every bit of me. The feeling can manifest through physical or mental bondage, and simply from hands pinning me down or grasping my wrists.

There is also something about it which makes me feel cherished and loved. I’m not quite sure what it is that gives me that sensation. It was the perfect cure for my grumpy feelings.

02.12

2008

Spider Gag

Read in Episode #5 of The Sacred and Shameless Sexcast.

I lick my lips once more before the ability to do so is taken away, opening my mouth as he takes the spider gag I bought specifically for this and hooks it behind my teeth, effectively keeping my mouth open a whole wide two inches, easy access for whatever he would like to do to me, and, if we’re lucky, drool dribbling down my chin, emphasizing the baseness of my position. I moan oddly, sort of muffled but also loudly, due to the steel ring between my teeth. The four metal feet of it rubbing softly against my cheeks as my mouth is held open, as he buckles the strap behind my head.

Next, my arms are taken from my sides and brought to the back of me, soft rope twining around them, black rope, if I know the tool he is using, he captures my wrists together and then works on binding my arms, winding the rope around, one bit at a time, inching up my forearms. I try to lick my lips again, my attention focused on the rope, and I remember the gag, the drool already pooling in my mouth, able to lick at my bottom lip and barely at my top as I try, testing my mobility.

Somehow he’s seen this, and slides his finger into my mouth stroking my tongue as I wiggle it to meet his finger, chuckling softly at my inability to suckle it as he knows I would like to. I whimper, again muffled yet loud, wiggling my hips and then my shoulders, shifting my arms to test the strength of the rope. He tsks, “not yet, pet, I haven’t tied it off.”

I grunt a sound which is supposed to convey a pout, since I am unable to physically pout, and I can sense his smile from behind me. His hands both go back to the task at hand. The rope stops in the middle of my forearms, keeping them together, making me strain a bit to keep them that way, my shoulder blades pulled back, my chest thrust out. He comes around to the front of me, still standing before him, and he grins. I am already naked for him, but he is still fully clothed. Looking at him, this difference becomes even more emphasized in my mind, and I glance down at my nakedness and at his slacks and button-up shirt.

I squirm a little, uncomfortable, but knowing that in my uncomfortableness, my being exposed and vulnerable to him, my cunt is already getting wet. He watches me for a few moments before saying, simply, “display.” It is said softly, but with a steely sternness, it is a command and I squirm a little, striving to press my breasts out a little farther than they are, displaying them to him first, my legs together, still, with my head level and my eyes down. His hands move to my large breasts, feeling the weight of them, moving his fingers over the pierced nipples, flicking them softly, watching me whimper as he plays with them, a bit of drool already dribbling down my chin. I feel my cheeks warm with the heat of my blush.

He nods, his hands moving down to his sides, a signal for me to move to the next item on display, I shift, awkwardly spreading my legs, stepping out so that my thighs are nice and widely parted so his fingers can seek out the already damp folds of me, playing with my piercings, tugging at them softly, flicking at the bar running through my clit hood, a smile playing across his face as i whimper and try not to squirm, growing damper at his touch.

He slides his hand from my sex and moves his fingers to my mouth. I want to suck the juices off of them, but settle for trying to wrap my tongue around them instead, making my mouth water, and more drool dribbling down my chin. He removes his fingers and slides one down the trail of saliva dripping down my chin, laughing and catching my eyes with his own. “Dirty slut, can’t help but drool all over your chin…” he slides his hand back to my cunt, moving his finger against my thigh where some of my juices have dripped “and your thighs.”

I feel my cheeks burning at his words, sure that they must be a deep shade of pink at his comment, and yet feeling my cunt grow wetter still, my hips instantly moving toward his hand even at his cruel but teasing words. He just takes his hand away with a chuckle and nods, growling “show me that ass, whore.”

I whimper and turn around, struggling with bound arms to bend over. With the bed behind me I rest one shoulder against it, trying not to look back at him. Normally I would spread my cheeks for him, but that was impossible in my current situation, instead I strained my fingers as if I was trying to, so he knew that I was at least trying. The air was cool against the heat and wetness of my cunt as it was exposed, all of me exposed and even more vulnerable, my chin against our black sheets.

“Try not to drool all over my sheets, slut.” I attempt to shift my head, but can’t, and at that moment I feel his wet finger press against my tight backdoor and then plunge inside. He starts to fuck my little asshole with his finger, laughing at my muffled moans of pleasure and as I press back toward the invading digit, my hips grind back, sweet juices dripping down my thighs. Just as suddenly as his finger had entered my ass, I feel three slipping into my drooling cunt, filling both holes at once as he began rhythmically filling and unfilling each hole at opposite moments. I am going crazy with lust. Though as soon as it had started, it stopped.

“Next.” I whimper loudly, pressing my ass back toward him, trying to seek out the fingers which had been taken away from me, and, unable to find them, I just humped the air. The sound of a slap permeates the air and I feel a smart sting on my left cheek, even without looking I can tell it was the strap, and I’m going to get more if I don’t do as instructed. The last hole to be examined of his property was the mouth. The already drooling mouth, still aching to be used as it had from the moment the gag was placed within it. The mouth which was completely in his control, doing as he wished, taking all ability from me to swallow my saliva unconsciously, as we all do, and rather exposing my helpless position before him. I struggled to regain my composure as quickly as I could, but still got another smart smack to my right cheek, I was not moving fast enough.

I mumble something unintelligible and attempt to stand from my position. Finding that extremely difficult, I slide to my knees and turn around from there, meaning to stand after I doing so, in order to present my mouth properly. Instead of being able to stand instead his hand griped my hair and pulled my mouth to his very hard cock, not knowing when exactly he had unzipped his pants to let it out. I gag as he easily presses every inch of his cock past my lips, as I’m unable to keep it from pressing into my throat. I squeeze my thighs together and start to grind my hips against myself as he begins fucking my very accessible mouth, using it easily as drool begins to dribble down my chin.

A low moan escapes his thraot as he uses his grip on my head to guide my mouth up and down his shaft, now coated and shiny with my spit. He is already so close to cumming after playing with and teasing my body, his property. He uses my mouth easily, making me gag as he does, making my eyes water, making my cunt ache and my clit throb. I whimper again as he pulls my mouth away from his cock, I try to move forward reaching for his cock with my held-open mouth, but his hand stops me again, hand still in my hair, as his other began stroking his cock.

I stick out my tongue and wait for just a few long moments, looking up at him, pleading sounds coming from my mouth just before he groans and his cock starts spurting his cum across my face, coating me with it. Once his orgasm subsides he moves his cockhead against my tongue so that I can lap at the tip, tasting the last drops of cum.

His hand moves from my hair and rubs his cum against my face, mixing it with the drool, grinning down at me. “Such a good whore pet” he says, his other hand still stroking his cock, still slightly hard and getting harder again. “Now you get your reward…”

08.30

2007

Things I Want

A collar like one of these two, or some combination thereof (but not ruby, like the first one is, garnet, which closely resembles what Master first described to me to be the collar he would like to get me:
(14:49:41) (@living`dead`pet) so, i decided that mentioning wanting to buy me a collar but then not getting one is not nice, despite of the fact that you can’t find one. that’s not the point.
(14:50:20) (@Pan) Oh I am getting you one
(14:50:33) (@living`dead`pet) i know
(14:50:58) (@living`dead`pet) but i want it now =P
(14:51:16) (@Pan) Maybe I’ll get you a fairly basic one at first until I can afford to have another custom made
(14:52:35) (@living`dead`pet) it could work
(14:52:47) (@living`dead`pet) i don’t completely mind waiting, only i do
(14:52:50) (@living`dead`pet) if that makes sense
(14:52:52) (@Pan) The one I envision would be pretty pricey, but very pretty
(14:53:02) (@living`dead`pet) oh?
(14:53:51) (@Pan) mmmhmmm
(14:55:01) (@Pan) Thinking of an all metal collar, with three rings and set with garnets
(14:56:13) • @living`dead`pet grins
(14:56:23) (@living`dead`pet) that sounds nice. though, yes, pricey
(14:57:38) (@Pan) But a nice leather collar in the meanwhile to let you get used to wearing it would be nice
(14:57:59) • @living`dead`pet nods
(14:58:37) • @Pan smiles



The first one shown is ruby, as mentioned, and I would want garnets, the second one has onyx. We were thinking one ring and maybe a garnet, onyx, garnet pattern or visa versa, something like this:

only with garnets and onyx, but the changing colors and number is correct. It’s super expensive, though, but I love it, and so does Master.

We also figure, with that, since it’s smallish I’d be able to wear play collars with it as well, and I could get a collar to wear at work that would be work-acceptable which would cover that one. So…

For work I want:

in black.

For play I want these two (and more):

And then generally I’m wanting to get both The Master’s Manual and The Compleat Slave both by Jack Rinella, two that go together and have both me and Master read them. Also wanting SlaveCraft which is written by “a grateful slave” and Guy Baldwin. They both seem interesting. I also want tons of other bondage books, but those are my current top-of-the-wishlist.