Purveyor of Pleasure

Delving into my humanity and the joys and pitfalls of an overanalytical nature.

Page 50 of 65

Catalina Loves A Raffle

Now, I don’t usually re-post things like this, however this situation is absolutely ridiculous! The wonderful and gorgeous Catalina, who I am now working on a couple projects with and have been getting to know over the last few months, is in need of some help.

The short of it is: Catalina left her teaching job early this year due to a lifestyle conflict with the administration and in order to avoid a public scandal. Her teenage daughter still attends the school, and the only way she is able to attend this private institution is through the agreement Catalina made when she left. Her daughter is able to remain at the school paying tuition with the faculty discount because “all faculty are offered one more year for their children at the faculty tuition discount as a way to avoid disrupting their children’s lives too much.” This seems reasonable, no? However, the administration has decided that they needed to add a large amount of fees onto her bill as well (for the first time) which is due in the next week. You can read the full tale here, which is much more detailed.

Now to the helping part. While Catalina is in need she is not asking for something for nothing. In addition to getting the happiness of being able to contribute and help a horrible situation if you donate you also get the chance to win prizes. “Catalina’s Emergency Tuition Fund Raffle” is what she’s calling it and every $10 you donate buys you a raffle ticket. There are some great prizes donated by Lochai and Ellie Lumpesse that I’m sure many of you would love to have (I know I would!).

Go to her website for the full information and all the details on how to enter the raffle!

Semantics Sunday: Gender Galaxy

One of the terms I have in my lexicon but also something that I could expound upon for quite some time. I was talking with someone recently about my idea of the gender galaxy and she said something about liking femininity, not wanting to give it up. I kind of balked at her and asked how that was what I was saying at all. I find it so ridiculous that people assume that taking gender off of a binary means that femininity must go away.

On one hand, it makes sense, because a lot of the work of the feminist movement has been, basically, to do the same work as patriarchy and discredit femininity only from the other side of it, discrediting it from the inside, because it’s constructed. One thing I love about the idea of performativity is that it names everything as a performance, the constructed nature about the way we think about gender, but it doesn’t mean that we all don’t have some sort of pull toward one or many types of gender expression.

But, I digress. The term “gender galaxy” first appeared in Expanding Gender and Expanding the Law: Toward a Social and Legal Conceptualization of Gender that is More Inclusive of Transgender People by Dylan Vade, published in 2005 in the Michigan Journal of Gender and Law. He says:

I suggest a non-linear alternative conceptualization, which I call the gender galaxy. The gender galaxy is a three-dimensional non-linear space in which every gender has a location that may or may not be fixed. For instance, butch woman is one particular gender location. Feminine FTM is another gender location. These are two different valid gender locations that are not linearly related.

The article is fascinating, and I highly encourage you to read it as well, for further information of his explanations. He mentions that generally when we try to go away from the two options of (he uses male and female but to me those are sex categories rather than gender, and so I would say masculine and feminine) gender we move it onto a spectrum instead of just a one-or-the-other option. However, moving it onto a spectrum means it is still grounded in that binary, and his idea of a gender galaxy is moving away from that, as mentioned in the quote above.

Gender galaxy is a term that Sinclair of SugarButch has written about and defines, and I highly encourage all you who haven’t to look at his brilliant writings on the subject. One of the best examples of his writing about the gender galaxy comes from his telling of his journey of learning how to navigate within the gender galaxy and finding his identity as butch:

It took such a long time for me to come to comfortably sit in this butch identity, for me to (if we’ll continue the metaphor) navigate the gender galaxy, and find a comfortable orbit around an identity label. Some of us don’t ever settle into that – some of us are radical little spaceships that explore treasures from all sorts of different worlds and words that we orbit. I guess the trick is, in my opinion, to simply find the routes that are the best to navigate (not necessarily the easiest, but the most satisfying), the orbits where there is plenty of oxygen, the alliances that create treaties and share resources and have excellent adventures.

We basically have to make our own gender galaxy maps. And while some gender mapmaking tools – queer theory, gender theory, postmodern theory, queer literature, smut and the language of lesbian desires – while some tools help immensely, I still couldn’t quite escape the praxis, the application of the theory, because of the ways that the social constraints and social policing affected my own process deeply.

I’m working on a post of my own personal galaxy map to femme, how I’ve gotten here, what it means to me, and I’m hoping to be done with that soon. In the meantime, you have Sinclair’s to reference and my ideas of gender galaxy to ponder, as follows.

Basically I see the gender galaxy as having lots of little solar systems, with the sun or focal point of that solar system being a certain gender identity. There are some people who stay in orbit around one sun. Some are closer than others, like the difference between Mercury and Jupiter, and some are farther away and have irregular courses like Neptune. Still others are asteroids or comets, moving around multiple solar systems, moving through the gender galaxy itself without one focal point or another. Some people may inhabit two planets or three or four. The beauty of the gender galaxy is the limitless amount of possibilities.

Obviously, as my own gender identity includes femme and therefore includes femininity (or, femmeininity) I am not anti-femininity, nor do I believe that gender should be abolished or that the gender galaxy is getting rid of gender, on the contrary. Gender is even more emphasized in some ways in the gender galaxy, except instead of confining it the gender galaxy makes gender overly available. Opening up gender from a gender binary or even a gender continuum to a gender galaxy makes it so that there are no expressions of gender that are considered incorrect. We would no longer be able to fail at gender, either, as there is no set limits as to what gender is or could be.

Another Slight Semantic Difference

So I, basically, shun the word “slave” as many of you may know, and yet I still use the term Master. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and the more I think about it the less I like the term “Master.” It implies some of the same things that “slave” does, only from the other end of it, my problem thus far as been the lack of a better term.

The terms Sir and Lord just are not that appealing to me either. I can appreciate the appeal, but I just don’t have a strong tie to either of them, so they don’t do much for me. While I can understand the desire for either, neither of them click with me, they don’t seem quite fitting. I hear Sir flung around like crazy online, and Lord just seems like a little much.

I like the term Owner, it’s a little more neutral than Master, though has similar connotations, not all of them bad, however. Owner is closer to what I want than Master is, but it’s still not quite right. It sounds strange to call someone Owner, such as “Owner just said something funny,” it doesn’t quite work the same way Master does, it just sounds a little funny.

I like the term Dominus as well, technically it means both Lord and Master, and doesn’t have all the same connotations as Master or even Owner does. I talked extensively about my use of the term Domina just last Sunday, and I feel similarly with the term Dominus, it’s regal and delicious. I left the post by asking about why people don’t use the term Dominus, and maybe I will begin to. The problem with Dominus is similar to Owner, “Dominus just said something funny,” sounds strange as well. Perhaps I just need to either shift my perspective on it, or choose one.

The biggest component of this, really, is how Master/Owner/Dominus feels about it. I haven’t really talked to him about it, but I plan on it. I like referring to him by a title, as he is the only one which I do call by a title. It takes a lot for me to call someone by a title, just as it takes a lot for me to say anything which I mean and which could make me in the least bit vulnerable. He is one of the few people that I have ever called Master, and possibly the last.

Caned and Bruised, Never Satisfied


Click for the larger version

For my second HNT I wanted something, again, which is going along with another post of mine. I just yesterday published my recap of the weekend play party and my first public play experience, so I figured showing you all the pictures taken after that experience would fit right along nicely. The picture above was taken via Master’s camera phone, so it’s obviously not very good quality. Unfortunately we didn’t bring my camera with us to the party, so we didn’t get a good picture post-play aside from this one.

Obviously the coloring is a bit off, my skin is not actually that blue, but you can see the pretty cane marks on my butt and upper thighs, as well as some flogger marks mixed in for good measure. I think it’s pretty yummy, and hope you appreciate it as well! And, because I can’t just leave you with one poor quality picture…


Click for the larger version

Taken two days after the party by Master (with my Rebel XT), just so you get to see the pretty bruises it left as well! I love bruises, but, unfortunately I have a butt of steel (or leather, which works too) and it doesn’t bruise very easily. It was being spanked, flogged, and caned for a good 45 minutes or so, including quite a bit of caning, and all I get are two lousy bruises? Curses!

That’s not to say I don’t like the bruises or think they’re pretty, far from it! I just adore marks and want more! But, then, I’m rarely satisfied, am I? Alas, we’ll just have to try harder next time.

My First Public Play Experience

Master and I went to our second play party this weekend, our first was a couple weeks ago where we didn’t play, we just observed. Despite being into BDSM for many years, we’ve never gotten much into the actual community, and since we didn’t know people very well and we didn’t bring any of our own toys to the first play party we didn’t feel like playing (though, I felt like playing near the end, but we didn’t).

This party, however, we did end up playing. We mingled and chatted for a while, observing others in their scenes, getting introduced to new people and seeing a few friends. I was wearing a black leather corset with spiderweb tights on my arms (basically spiderweb tights with the crotch and feet cut out, which works very well as a pseudo-shirt), a black skirt with D-rings and black bondage straps, black lacy panties, and silver and black cute femme shoes. I looked good, if I do say so myself.

We made the rounds, watched some delicious scenes including some caning, rope bondage, gas mask breath play/asphyxia, pressure point play, and physical force (not all in the same scene, mind you). I got a little antsy watching all the others playing and I asked Master in my coy and subtle fashion (until he made me ask him verbally) if we could play somewhere. We walked around, looking for an empty room, and ended up getting one after a little bit of waiting. I took off my corset and skirt, stripping down to my panties and spiderweb tights, and got up on a long flat massage table with my head facing away from the door.

We pushed the boy-cut panties up a bit so they were more thong-like and he had access to my ass, as I didn’t feel comfortable taking them off. He started with some nice swats to my ass with his hand, getting me warmed up. I was nervous, but it was kinda nice to be nervous and heightened the experience in some ways. I was facing away from the door so I couldn’t see people looking in, and we were somewhat secluded, in a seperate room off of the living room and most people were outside or downstairs, which helped with my nervousness as well Once I was able to focus on what he was doing and not on the fact that we were doing this in public it stopped being an issue.

Once I was sufficiently warmed up with his hand he began flogging me. We used to have a flogger that I liked better than the one we currently have, not that this one is bad mind you, and at that moment I missed the old one. It was much heavier and had a better thud. Despite missing the other, the flogging was long and yummy. He alternated between slow and fast, hard and soft, all as a good flogging should go. By the time he moved on to the next implement I was so far gone and loving every second of it.

The cane was next and, honestly, I love canes when I’m in the mood for them. I think they have a wonderful combination of burning and stinging, plus they leave the most gorgeous marks (look for that tomorrow for my HNT, by the way). I was deep into masochistic pain-space and loving every second of it so even though the cane hurt there was also an amazingly warm and yummy feeling coursing through me. He alternated between the cane, back to the flogger, then to the cane again, and I would occasionally notice someone at the door behind me, but was unable to tell who it was (various people, I’d assume).

At one point, our friend Ashley, who is gorgeous and graciously invited us to come with her (also my newest favorite friend here in SLC), came into the room and observed. She remarked that I have a nicely rounded butt (a bubble-butt I call it) and Master asked if she’d like to get in a smack with the cane, which he was currently using on me. She readily accepted, warned me that she isn’t nice when it comes to inflicting pain, and asked how hard she could hit. I told her I had a pretty high tolerance, so she gave me a nice hard smack, and let me say: it hurt! It wasn’t unbearable, though, and it was actually really nice (and painful). She hit me a few more times before realizing that Master had only asked her if she wanted “one” smack with the cane, not multiple (though, honestly, she probably could have kept going and neither of us would have cared).

She handed the cane back over and either departed or watched for a bit longer and then departed (I’m not sure). Master asked how I was doing, and when I said “wonderful” he informed me that he would continue until I asked him to stop. I was more than fine with that. I found that I really like multiple fast semi-hard swats with the cane, it creates more of a burning sensation than a stingy sensation, and I really like that better. I asked him for that a few times over the session. He switched back to the flogger, and then back to the cane, all the while I was flying high.

I asked him if he would put his hand over my nose and mouth while he spanked me, which is my favorite method of breath play/asphyxiation. I find it extremely intimate as well as much more solidly breath-affecting and slightly less risky than hand-on-throat. We had seen some gas-mask breath play earlier in the evening which was also suitably arousing. He controlled my breath perfectly, I thought, and spanked my ass with his hand and then with the cane while controlling it. As you probably can imagine, I was taken even higher into that pain-space/sub-space/play-space mindset.

After playing with my breath for a good amount of time he stopped and kissed me and told me that we were done. I still wanted more and could have taken more, but I knew that he was right in stopping before I hit my limit. I got off of the now very sweaty table and he cleaned it with alcohol as I fixed my panties and put my skirt back on, choosing to opt out of the corset since it would be a pain to get back into and I was much more comfortable without it, plus the spiderweb mesh makeshift-shirt looked hot by itself.

We headed to the kitchen where I ate a bit of food and had some water, and then headed outside where we were told that our scene was hot by someone I didn’t know had been observing. I realized I didn’t know who all watched and who didn’t, aside from Ashley, which was a little strange, but not bad (and actually kind of hot). For the remainder of the party we chatted with people, wandered around, and observed more, including a fantastic play piercing session with 50+ needles which was amazing. Master and I played with the idea of flogging my back a couple hours after we ended our session, but it didn’t end up feeling right, so we decided against it.

All in all it was a wonderful party, and I really enjoyed meeting new people or meeting people I had seen at other events. I’m finding that I’m more interested in getting involved with the community here the more I get to know people, which makes sense, and I’m really looking forward to getting into it even more.

This Week's Sexy Sugasm Posts (#143)

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #144? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Anti-Porn Protest Gets Weird
“People get very excited about their causes and lack the sense to see if the information backs them up. ”

The Come Shot

“You don’t see their bodies going blotchily red and hear them howling like a banshee.”

Third Time’s a Charm
“If I lift my kilt on Bourbon Street I’m much more likely to get arrested than if Elizabeth takes off her top.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
In My Office

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Read More

The Best Sex Bloggers (dot com)

This may be my summer for collaborative writing projects! I changed up the navigation and some of the look of the site yesterday, including changing how single pages look (less stuff on the sidebars, and links to the next page back, etc). But the big thing was navigation. If you’ll notice, right below the banner up there, not only do I have a “Navigation:” list now, but I also have “Other Projects:” which includes my sexcast, The Femmes Guide to the Universe (not yet launched), and The Best Sex Bloggers.

I’ll have a post about Femmes Guide later, but this post is for Best Sex Bloggers (BSB). It’s a pet project of Catalina of CatalinaLoves (and about a billion other sites) and her husband Marky D Sade. Here’s a little about the project:

The Best Sex Bloggers is a collaborative effort between erotic, glamour, and fetish photographers and the best sex bloggers of every flavor. Represented here are BDSM, D/s, Doms, Dommes, Professional Sex Work, Polyamory, Vanilla, Psychology, Sexuality, Reviews, Advice, HNT, Queer, Gay, Lesbian, Pansexual, and of course hot erotic fiction as well as the even hotter tales of adventure.

Catalina and Marky D Sade started bestsexbloggers.com as a way to network bloggers and photographers in a way that other blogs have never done before. Our photographers have submitted an album with permission for each of the bloggers to use their images with proper credit. In addition, the photographers themselves will be posting their images and commenting on the shoot, the model, or the image itself.

You can read the bios of the photographers and the sex bloggers who are contributing. We just opened midnight on August 4th, and there are already 18 posts, and more on the way no doubt! It’s fantastic, and I highly encourage everyone to check it out. Nearly all of my favorite bloggers are contributing, and we have collaborative posts in the works (won’t that just be orgasmic, some of your favorite sex bloggers on one post?!). It’s going to be pretty damn awesome.

A rundown of what you will find at The Best Sex Bloggers:

BDSM, Dom, Domme, Submissive, Online D/s, Vanilla, Queer, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Poly, Psychology, Sexuality, Discussion, Photography, Sociology, Podcasts, Bondage (including beautiful rope bondage by well-respected bondage artists), Erotic Fiction, Tales of Adventures, Sexual Fantasies, Hot Couples, Kink, Fetish, Phone Sex Operators, Professional Sex Writers, Reviews, Photoblogs, Education and Information, Smut, Filth, Flirting, HNT, Networking, Featured Artists, Local Events, Poetry, and even just once in a while a tale about the weird lives we tend to lead.

In short, just about anything sexy and sexual!

On Becoming a Phone Sex Operator

I recently have begun looking into phone sex operator (PSO) work, and with the guidance of the wonderful Ellie Lumpesse I have applied at a few places, and ended up getting a couple offers, one of which I have accepted. Master just faxed in my contract to them today, and so I’m hoping to start work tomorrow. I’m both excited and nervous for this new and very different opportunity! I have chosen to get into this type of sex work for a few reasons.

In looking for a new job, as I have been for the last few months, I have come to the realization that in order to make the kind of money I would like here (in Utah, as that is the tricky part) I would have to change my appearance and personality, basically I would have to hide myself. Now, that is not to say I wouldn’t have to do the same things doing PSO work, obviously there can be quite a bit of roleplay involved, but it is a much different type of roleplay.

I have worked and continue to work a lot on my appearance and personality. I am constantly learning about myself, my desires, my likes and dislikes, and all sorts of factors which go into what I consider to make up this entity which is me. I have done a lot of exploring via this blog, and other blogs, and just in my head. I have come into my own in a very distinct way, and I really to believe that I am constantly learning and changing.

However, I also believe that just about any place I would find acceptable to work here in Utah, with a few exceptions (though none which are hiring), would also not allow me to be me, I would have to pretend to be conservative, straight-laced, and professional, as well as dye my hair, cover my tattoos, and wear clothing I wouldn’t wear otherwise. This isn’t necessarily bad, and I’ve done this before for most jobs which I’ve had, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life, what goals I have, what I see myself doing down the road, and basically I do not want to be schizophrenic. What I mean by that is, I don’t want to have to be a different person at work than I am at home.

With PSO work I may have to be a different person than I am, engage in some roleplay, something like that, but I would always be me, because the roleplay has a much different purpose. I will be able to help others explore their own (often hidden) fantasies, while exploring my own sexuality as well. In some ways it’s a lot like sex therapy for both myself and the client, both of us being able to act out a fantasy that might not be accessible otherwise. I imagine this will be a highly rewarding for someone who enjoys finding and exploring the sexuality of others as well as my own sexuality.

When I told a few friends of mine that I was getting into phone sex work, after asking about the money one of them said “well, if you’re going to degrade yourself, you might as well get paid well” or something similar. It was kind of glossed over in the conversation, as I think I was the only one who heard him say that, so the others went on to something else, but it made me think.

I really don’t view PSO work or any sex work as degrading when done for the right reasons. It can be degrading for some if done for various reasons or if forced into it, as some people are. However, I do believe that someone can actually choose to get into sex work and find joy, pleasure, and happiness in it. I also believe that it can be empowering, which is often thought of as the opposite of degrading. This is part of being sex-positive, in my mind.

I have yet to have my first day, as I said above, I have a briefing scheduled for tomorrow and hope to start shortly after that. I’ll no doubt report on how I feel about it post-first day, and if any of my feelings regarding PSO work or sex work change. I’m very interested to see how I grow from this experience, and I hope to find out new things about myself and about others due to this decision.

Review: The Miracle Massager- Better than the Hitachi?

I was instantly intrigued by the Miracle Massager as it claims to be superior to the Hitachi Magic Wand. I’ve had many many vibrators over the years, and I (along with pretty much any other person who has tried it) absolutely love my Hitachi and believe that it is the best vibrator around. So you can imagine my interest in a massager that claims to be better than the Hitachi!

Here’s the run-down: according to it’s VibeReview pagethe Miracle Massager claims to be better than the Hitachi in three ways: size, erogonomics (design), and heat. Now, I’ll go through each of these one by one:

In terms of size the Miracle Massager is definitely superior to the Hitachi. When I first tried the Hitachi I was a little overwhelmed at it’s size, but the Miracle Massager is nowhere near as intimidating. The toy itself is quite a bit lighter than the Hitachi and the head is smaller and therefore easier to fit into the little nook and cranny and get it right against your clit. Not that the Hitachi is bad for this, but it’s definitely easier to do with the Miracle Massager.

Second, as it says, it’s “ergonomically superior,” meaning the overall design is better, and I highly agree. It’s much less bulky than the Hitachi, and is much easier to handle and maneuver. The Miracle Massager has a smaller diameter than the Hitachi, it curves slightly for ease of use, and it tapers at the end as well, which is really handy and makes it much easier to hold. The curved handle makes it easier for me to grab and the tapered handle means that I can move the toy against me with less effort than the Hitachi.

I also like that the controls of the Miracle Massager go off-low-high, unlike the Hitachi which go low-off-high. A slight difference, and both placements have merits, but with the Hitachi in order to go from low to high one must turn it off completely, which can be irritating even if it is just for a short second. However, this is highly a personal preference, and both designs do have their own flaws. One thing about having it off-low-high is that in order to turn it off from high one must go through low first, which can also be irritating.

Lastly it claims to have fixed the temperature problem which is the biggest issue I have with the Hitachi. Basically, the longer the Hitachi is used the hotter it gets, which is not really a plus in my book. Luckily, that’s something the makers of the Miracle Massager have allowed for, and so the Miracle Massager does not get nearly as warm as the Hitachi, even over long play sessions. This means you can play with the toy much longer, which is always a good thing!

I agree that the Miracle Massager is superior on all these points, however, it is not superior in the most important aspect of any vibrator and that is vibration! The vibrations of the Miracle Massager, while strong and enough to get me off, are not nearly as strong as those felt by the Hitachi. From what I can tell, the High setting on the Miracle Massager is just about equal to the Low setting on the Hitachi. This works fine for me, as I often have my Hitachi on low when I’m playing with it (though I love the high setting as well), but for those of you who need and love the strong vibrations that the Hitachi provides, this toy may not do the trick!

Basically, I love this toy and will continue to use it when I don’t feel the need for the crazy strong vibrations of the Hitachi. It is easier to handle, and doesn’t get as hot, which are big plusses in my book, plus it got me off (and easily too). If you don’t need the strength of the Hitachi on high (or feel the Hitachi is too strong for you), then I highly recommend this toy to you, as it would still feel great, and is superior to the Hitachi in design. However, if you are one of those people who needs the awesome power of the Hitachi’s vibrations, I’d stick with the Hitachi and pass over the Miracle Massager.

Sex Toys and Vibrator Reviews at VibeReview

Coming next Masturbation Monday: The Miracle Massager Attachment!

Semantics Sunday: Domina

Semantics Sunday is the day for me to write my own definition of a word, how I feel about a word, and how it relates to me personally and my own identities. This could be anything sexual, gender, bdsm, and poly/relationship oriented, or anything else I feel like throwing in. This is simply my definition and understanding of the word, and not meant to be the only definition that is or could be. If you have an alternate definition, if you agree with my interpretation, or if you have something to add which I left out or which needs correcting, feel free to let me know in the comments!

For my first Semantics Sunday I figured I should use a word that is near and dear to my heart. Since I have already given my lengthy definition of cuntpet I decided I should focus on the other of my identities: Domina.

I recently created a new channel on irc.bondage.com, where I am quite frequently, called #Fiery_Dominas. This is the first channel with Domina in the channel name, which is part of the reason why I started it, however it has inspired comments such as “What is dominas? Dommes plural?” which is relatively ridiculous considering for one thing, Dommes is Domme plural, and for another thing Domina is a fantastic and real Latin word, unlike Domme, which is a slang term.

Now, on one hand, I feel there is nothing wrong with slang terms, and think that they should be used and incorporated, and Domme basically incorporates Dom and Femme (as in french for female, not queer femme), which is not horrible in general, and is rather logical. However, now that I have discovered and embraced Domina, Domme sounds silly to me, it is nowhere near as linguistically luscious or regal-sounding as Domina is, and it doesn’t inspire the same awe. I also feel that Domina is a much more feminine term than Domme, which is partly why I’m so partial to it as well.

Basically, Domina comes from the Latin root dom- found in other such words as dominate, domify, domicile, and domestic, as well as domin- such as dominant and dominus. From various sources I find that “dom-” actually relates to a household or realm, and the actual Latin translation of Domina or Dominus (the male counterpart), is “Lady or Lord of the house/realm.” This makes sense, considering dom- relating also to words such as domicile and domestic. The prefix domin- alone (supposedly) indicates regal status, such as Lady/Lord, or Mistress/Master, which is why Domina is the feminine and Dominus is the masculine (the suffix -a being feminine, and the suffix -us being masculine).

This brings us to the question, if we use Dom and not Dominus, why should we use Domina and not Domme? Well, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t ever use Domme, I’m just saying that I don’t want to use Domme, and furthermore, we could use Dominus as well, should a male dominant desire to be called that. I’m not going to condemn others for using the term Domme, but I do not identify with the term and will not be using it for myself or for others unless specifically requested.

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