Me in my “Sex nerds KNOW how to do it” shirt by Audacia Ray
I have wanted this shirt forever and a half, and I finally ordered it for myself not too long ago (though a while ago, but getting it was delayed due to holidays and moving and such) and I just got it today! I thought it would make a perfect HNT picture, so here it is.
Since my other posts recently have been super long, I’m keeping this one short. Enjoy!
Obviously sex toys have become a big part of my life. I think about them at least weekly when I round-up reviews for Pleasurists though usually more because I do my own reviews too, and just recently Domina Doll and I compiled the Best Sex Toy Reviewers 2008 list. This has sparked a bit of conversation, which I am eager to engage in and have already been asked my opinion of. First, go and read these three posts by Sinclair Sexsmith, AAG, and Debauched Domestic Diva if you haven’t already. I’ll be here when you get back, promise.
Good, now, here’s my take on this: I actually couldn’t agree more. They aren’t saying that we shouldn’t be doing reviews, just that we should be more conscious of who we’re reviewing for, what we’re reviewing, and how often we’re reviewing them (at least that’s my take on it).
While I enjoy reading reviews and I do review a lot of toys I have always done it one of two ways. First, I started reviewing one toy a week. Easy, simple, one toy a week, with posts in between. Then, when I started to get more companies I was reviewing for, I moved that to two reviews a week (rarely, but sometimes three), but I had to have at least four posts between them. Why four posts? Well… I don’t really know. But that’s what I set for myself. I thought it was a good number, and I’ve had a lot to write about lately. Sometimes that number didn’t happen, sometimes it was two, sometimes it was six, etc. but, that was the goal. I’ve always made sure to have other content along side my reviews.
There are reviewers out there that just review sex toys and don’t give much personal information or have personal posts, and that is a whole different can o’ worms I think. For my reviews and reviewing I agree with what Kyle said in the comments of Diva’s post “sex toy reviews are icing, but not the cake.” However, this is different for toy review blogs.
When the blog is dedicated to toy reviews then I don’t expect anything but toy reviews (makes sense, right?). I don’t think this is a bad blog or anything of that sort, because if the stats of Pleasurists and my own review blog Wanton Lotus are any indication, people are reading reviews and many enjoy reading reviews, I know I do. I even enjoy reading multiple reviews on the same product, because I think that gives me a better idea about the toy.
I try to pick the sites I review for carefully, I too have turned down requests (though not many, I’ll admit) and I no longer review for EdenFantasys. I’ve turned into somewhat of a toy snob and do not review just any toy, primarily I review toys I already think I’m going to enjoy, but occasionally I get one that just doesn’t work for me. While I’ve picked up some new review programs that I haven’t “vetted” completely I do feel for the most part that I’ve made good choices. I think what AAG said about questions to ask before reviewing for a company is fantastic, and I’m going to take that list, apply it to the sites I review for, and see what happens.
For those of you who didn’t read her post I’ll quote her:
- Does the site contain representations of people from a variety of genders and orientations?
- Are women shown as equal partners in sexual play and decision-making?
- Is educational and safety information included?
- Will the site accept returns or otherwise make it right if a customer is dissatisfied with a purchase?
- Are there good ways to contact the company (not just an online feedback form) if things go awry?
- Is the company responsive to contact and concerns from reviewers?
- Does the site treat its reviewers well? Its employees? Does it have a reputation for good business practices from other bloggers?
- Is the site free from dangerous products such as “shrink” creams and anal numbing lubes?
If you can’t answer “yes” to those questions, it’s time for us as a group to start speaking out both in the reviews we write and in the reviews we refuse to write.
We as a community need to use our collective powers in editorializing about not only the buzzy plastic but also the business ethics of the companies from whom we accept toys.
Very smart, seriously. I can already answer yes to most of the questions for all of the companies I review for, but not all questions as further research is needed.
Now, I won’t say I’m not greedy because I am. I’m Veruca Salt. I want it all. I want toys. I don’t want every toy, but I do want a lot of them. I think toy review blogs are valid blogs, and I know people enjoy reading them, including myself, but there is a difference between a toy review blog and a sex blog (well, duh, and I’m not saying one is better than the other), and like the lovely ladies and gentleman I am referencing in this post I don’t want my personal content swallowed up by reviews.
On a slightly different but related topic I’m interested in this gem in Diva’s post from the other side of things (the marketing side):
I personally think this year we will see an end to this over saturation of sex toys being handed out. Some bloggers may have high traffic numbers and sales through their affiliate links but overall these companies are not seeing the returns in sales for what they are giving out. They are going to start looking for different ways to market their products than all these reviews that many people seem to be skipping over reading half of the time.
It’ll definitely be interesting to see how toy reviewing evolves in the next year or so.
Cute, femme, and flirty, the Pink & Black Beaded Nipple Clamps bring a bit of class to standard tweezer-clamp style nipple clamps. Ranging in sensation from soft and pleasurable to wicked and painful, clamps are fun and easy to use. A definite necessity!
Just out today! Featured on Pleasurists Best Sex Toy Reviewers is an annual list compiled by Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek. Only reviewers who reviewed during the year of 2008 were considered, there will be a list for 2009 next year.
Each reviewer was rated separately by two people (Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus did not rate themselves, their second rating came from a third party). The ratings were on a scale of one to five in four areas: Content, Organization, Originality, and Regularity. Each reviewer got a score out of 20 by each person and then the scores were put together to make a final score out of 40. Those final scores were ranked from high to low to get the list below
There were many ties. In cases where reviewers had nominations the number of nominations were the deciding factor for the ties. In cases where reviewers had the same number of nominations Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus decided the order.
We recognize that this list is highly subjective. This is in no way a definitive list of reviewers, it is simply our list, and you can do with it as you will. We did use finite measurements, as discussed above, to create this list, but ultimately it is our own list. However, lists are fun to have and be able to point to.
- Essin’ Em
- Domina Doll
- Beautiful Dreamer
- Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
- Gabe and Elizabeth
- Sinclair Sexsmith
- Catalina Loves
- Agent Ansley
- Betty Rocket
- J.D. Bauchery
- Thursday’s Child
- Dame Demi
- Shasta Gibson
- Freddy and Eddy
- Dangerous Lilly
- Erin Leone
- Sleeping Dreamer
- Ellie Lumpesse
- Wendy Blackheart
- Ducky Doolittle
- Curvaceous Dee
- The Porn Librarian
- Lux Alptraum
- Naughty Secretary
- Nadia West
- Alpine Subdreams
- Radical Vixen
- The Beautiful Kind
- Toys for Tarts
- Audacia Ray
- Lucy Vonne
- Coy Pink
- Backseat Boohoo
- Bad Bad Girl
- Jimbo Jones
- BOX: Les Petites Morts
- Phaedra Fallen
- Jiz Lee
- Panthera Pardus
- Sommer Marsden
- The Countess
- Madeline Glass
- Hussy Red
- Roxanne Rhoads
- Dark Lady
- Sex Is Fun
- Adrie Santos
We scoured the internet for reviewers. Pleasurists was a great source of reviewers, but it was not the only source, as many of the reviewers above have never participated in a Pleasurists. If you are not on the list and you reviewed in 2008 the chances are we simply did not know about you and couldn’t find you in our many searches.
Body & Soul by zkukkuiz used under a Creative Commons license.
This is the fifth of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.
E is a 21 year old lady/girl who is “Pansexual with a preference for girl/lady/woman-identified people.” She is currently involved (non-monogamously) with a boy.
What size is your body?
It is small-to-average. I think it’s average, but most people think it’s small. My pants size is juniors 3-5-7, dress size 2-4, general size S or M. I am 5’4″ and around 110lbs with more thigh than I’d like, but generally rectangular in shape.
How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
Not particularly. I’ve had body image problems for most of my life, if not all of it, but I am slowly growing to love it for what it is. I am not necessarily uncomfortable with the size of my body, I am mostly uncomfortable with the actual dimensions of it and the relationships of various body parts to one another.
How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
It has always been bad, but I’ve been putting a conscious effort into improving it over the last 6 years or so. I absolutely haven’t gotten to the point where I’m happy with my body, but I don’t detest it as much as I used to.
How important is sexuality to your life?
How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
I have always been extremely sexual. At first, I was uncomfortable with my sexuality because everything in the world tells girls they should not feel sexual or sexy or aroused Ever, and I definitely did, so there must have been something TERRIBLY wrong with me (I thought). By age 16, I was comfortable with my sexuality and comfortable in my skin, and I have been ever since.
How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
Extremely. Sexual situations are some of the few in which I feel comfortable as a physical entity.
How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
I mean, I’m a woman. Society’s favorite pastime is viewing female bodies as sexual. I have a a white, generally small-ish female body, which mainstream media seems to be into.
Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
Absolute opposites. I don’t like my body as an aesthetic object because of the way that society has influenced my self-perception (I think), but I am completely comfortable with my sexuality and with my body as a sexual object/entity/being/thing. I’m not sure how this arose, but I’m happy to at least be able to be comfortable with some aspect of having a body.
Tiffany’s Boudoir by Dev1l-5pawn found by Marla Singer.
Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #13? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #15? Submit it here before Sunday February 8th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
- The Cherries are Sexy Valentine’s Day Giveaway! Deadline: Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.
- NoFauxxx.com Membership Giveaway. Deadline: Feb 28th.
On to the reviews…
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
I really hate to give bad reviews, but the loudness of the Tuyo was so distracting that I couldn’t get into it.
While not all Tuyo’s have this noise issue enough of them have it and enough people have complained about it that it is an issue with the toy and not just with my toy.
Sorry Big Teeze and Babeland! I really wanted to like Tuyo, the design is so awesome and unique that I really thought I would like it, but I really just can’t.