Purveyor of Pleasure

Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Page 30 of 66

My Perfect Bedroom

Inspired by AAG in her post Two Images where she actually quotes an older post from 2005 titled “The Perfect Bedroom” in which she describes all that would make up her perfect bedroom. I thought I would give it a try.

The walls would be a dark royal blue, though part of me wants the bedroom to be scarlet the rest of me says I could paint the living room scarlet so the bedroom would be blue. In one astrology class I took ages ago we did a guided imagery which was an image of our bedroom, basically our ideal bedroom, and mine was a gorgeous dark royal blue. That has been in my head ever since.

The carpet would be “silver” basically a medium dark gray with silver sparkles. The ceiling would be a matching medium dark gray as well, with glow in the dark stars across it in the constellations of the night sky in June (my birthday month). The stars would be fairly visible with the light on, but in the dark they would light up beautifully.

The bed would be a king at least with a black four-postered frame and sheer black curtains but an open top so the night sky could easily be seen. Royal blue satin sheets to match the walls, much like the ones we have now only a different color, silver pillow cases, and a big fluffy black split comforter to wrap up in.

Split comforter meaning, well, exactly what it sounds: the comforter is split down the middle so that each person has a their own blanket, which reduces on stealing in the night. Basically there would be two twin comforters for a king bed (or more depending on how many people were staying there). It works remarkably well, and doesn’t reduce on snuggle/cuddle ability either as stacking of the comforters is easy. This is something common in Norway we found out while we were there last May, both in Onyx’s mother’s house where we stayed a couple nights and in the furnished house his father let us stay in had split comforters on the bed, and I think it’s fabulous.

A mirror would take up quite a bit of the wall to the left of the bed, large enough that I could look over from any point on the bed or just off of the bed and see my (and others’) reflection. On the wall to the right of the bed there would be a small bedside table with a decorative lamp, all black and silver (notice a theme?).

On the wall to the right of the bed, there would be a black vanity table, complete with an oval mirror of course and two gorgeous side mirrors with pretty designs in the black metal. It would have plenty of counter space with all sorts of products on it like make-up and perfume where I could sit and femme up, contemplate my navel, or use my laptop.

To the right of the bed, between the bed and vanity, would be the walk-in closet. Also the same color of blue, with plenty of space for fabulous clothes and dresses, a great shoe rack, and a dresser, all of it sorted and organized impeccably. Yes, my closet is one of the places my mild OCD focuses: all my clothes are sorted by type, length/sleeve, then color.

Against the wall directly across from the foot of the bed would be a large black wardrobe. Not for clothes, obviously, as I have my walk-in closet, but for toys! The top 2/3 of it would have double doors that would open up to show shelves with also impeccably organized lube, dildos, vibrators, and bdsm equipment (from left to right). Mirrors on the inside of the doors. Floggers and cuffs hanging down the right side. Almost anything one could think of. Below the double doors would be a few drawers, including harnesses, larger bdsm equipment like spreader bars, lingerie, etc.

To the left of the wardrobe, across from the walk-in closet, would be the door to the hallway and rest of the house. To the right of the wardrobe would be the door to the bathroom… though that is a whole other post.

There would be a few places to sit, mostly Liberator furniture, all in black: an Esse and Stage combo to the lower left of the bed, Equus and Equus Rest at the foot of the bed, Buckaroo to the lower right of the bed, and an Escape between the mirror and the bed. Of course I’d have all the Liberator Shapes as well, though not out as furniture. I may need some sort of shelving or wardrobe just for them.

Above the vanity would be a poster of Marlene Dietrich (maybe two for some juxtaposition). To either side of the wardrobe there would be posters as well, and one at the head of the bed.

My laptop would be kept on the nightstand for the most part, and could provide music to fit any mood or entertainment while snuggled up in bed. There may or may not be a mini fridge with fruit, water, and ice so that one wouldn’t have to go far for quick nourishment, though the kitchen in this fantasy house would be amazing as well, probably black and silver themed.

And the rest of the house… that’s a different story. I do know that the living room would be all red, black, and leopard print, though, and there would be a play room for our cats with things to climb and chase and pounce on. There would also be a separate dungeon area with large equipment where we could also host parties. Oh, the list goes on…

This also hinges on the idea that in this poly household everyone in the house would have separate bedrooms so they could decorate each of them as they wish and we would all have our own space that we could retreat to when necessary but also have communal spaces like the living rooms, dungeon, temple, library, and probably a communal bedroom with beds taking up an entire wall (probably adjacent to the dungeon). And there’s oh so much more.

Of course, this is all fantasy, a fabulous decadent fantasy but fantasy nonetheless. But some day… who knows what may happen down the line.

Do you have any fantasy ideas about your perfect bedroom?

Black Burlesque (HNT)

I received the Regard Indiscret Set from Babeland and since I reviewed it on Tuesday I thought the images from using it would be perfect for Half-Nekkid Thursday.

The contents of the set: black round hat tin containing black leather tasseled pasties, black feather boa, pearl belt/necklace, and three small round candles.

You can watch my video review of the Regard Indiscret Set here on Wanton Lotus. I’m also giving a set away to one lucky commenter on my review. Go over there to enter.

I conveniently had a black mesh skirt with a black boa-like trim on the bottom which worked perfectly with the rest of the set. Under the skirt is my black ruffled panties. You can also see most of my tattoos in these pictures as well.

I love all of them, but I think I love the first one most. It may be my favorite picture of myself at the moment. What do you think?

hnt23a

hnt23b

hnt23c

hnt23d

hnt23e

Regard Indiscret Set Giveaway on Wanton Lotus!

regardindiscret2
Image of the Regard Indiscret Set in action! More images to come on Thursday for Half-Nekkid Thursday.

I just posted my video review of the Regard Indiscret Set on my review site Wanton Lotus, and since Babeland was nice enough to let me give a set away I wanted to be sure to share it on here as well! I’m sure some of you who read this would love to get a Regard Indiscret Set of your very own! It’s super adorable, femme-y, sexy, and seductive. Information about the contest is below but you must go to the review to enter.

Contest Info

I love the Regard Indiscret Set so much that Babeland agreed I could give one away to one lucky reader!

All you have to do is comment here on the review on Wanton Lotus with your idea of a romantic and sexy night with your partner(s) (or desired or imagined or fantasy partner(s)).

You must have a valid email address on your comment and be within the U.S. because it’s sent directly from Babeland.

Contest ends March 27th at 11:59pm PST.

Go to the Wanton Lotus review to enter!

Much thanks to Babeland for letting me review and give away the Regard Indiscret Set!

banner_babeland Affiliates

Pleasurists #20


via therealkatewest

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #19? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #21? Submit it here before Sunday March 15th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Read More

Out with the Old, In with the New

Back at the end of January I was contemplating a domain change. I bought the domain Femme Fagette.Com but left it mirroring Femmeinist Fucktoy since then, unsure of what to do about it, but now I’ve decided.

This blog is now officially “Femme Fagette: A sex positive multigendered fat queer poly switch exploring gender, sexuality, and the pitfalls of of an overanalytical nature.” Basically the same as Femmeinist Fucktoy has always been, but now with a better fitting title and more descriptive subtitle.

My basic reasoning behind changing is that Femmeinist Fucktoy just doesn’t resonate with me anymore, it hasn’t for quite a while now, really, but I kept it mostly because I didn’t want to change it. It’s time, though. A large proponent of this was my last post and my recognition or realization of coming further in to this femme fagette identity and understanding it more. Keeping Femmeinist Fucktoy after that just didn’t seem right.

This feels more like home now. I’m a little worried that in not too long Femme Fagette won’t feel right or like me either, but I don’t have a better alternative for my new site name. I want something personal and that touches on what I am trying to express, and I can’t get that without the possibility of change in the future. There’s nothing in me that is not subject to change, but all I can do is embrace what I feel in the present and be open to change as it comes.

FemmeinistFucktoy.com will automatically re-direct here, the feed is still the same, so nothing should really be disturbed too much in this name change. You don’t have to do anything but sit back and continue to enjoy. Oh, and comment once in a while.

If you have me linked on your site please change the link to Femme Fagette, and if you don’t have me linked feel free to add me now.

Finding Harmony in My Gender Fluidity

There are so many ways to play with and express gender and gender deviance, from subtle to in-your-face and everywhere in between. What I’ve been trying to figure out in the last few weeks is how to reconcile my femme and fagette identities into a conceivable whole. I’m often not sure it’s even possible, but I’m trying at least.

I was asked not too long ago on FetLife “how do you find the harmony of being both without being confused or feel like you’re betraying one half of yourself at the expense of expressing the other?”

Part of my response:
“Unfortunately, I don’t have a good answer for that question. I do often feel confused or like I am betraying parts of myself, but I can only realize that there is almost no way to not feel that way and in realizing try not to feel that betrayal. It’s difficult to almost never have my own gender perceived or acknowledged by those around me. I think that is one of the worst things about being gender-fluid, or any sort of multigendered, that it’s difficult or nearly impossible to get validation from others on your gender because there’s not an easy way to express gender fluidity, if it can be expressed at all in all it’s vastness. Since people want to categorize everyone they meet and since we are conditioned to view gender as binary it’s difficult to exist outside of that binary in the gender galaxy at large.”

My issue with this moves beyond being multigendered into the fact that not only am I multigendered but that due to my appearance I’m easily read by the outside world as cisgendered. It’s similar to femme invisibility, though the issue is gender invisibility rather than queer invisibility. While femme is a large part of my gender identity it is not all of it.

Femme gender and queerness is what is invisible, what people have trouble seeing or what people gloss over. Because my primary gender presentation is femme I have the same issues but with the added fagette twist. This isn’t to say that my invisibility is more than that of femmes because it’s not, it’s just a slightly different kind of the same invisibility.

Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m involved with a cisgendered male. I’m used to people not seeing my queerness especially when we’re together, and I’m used to people not seeing my fagette side because it can also look very femme.

It’s human nature to look for recognition in others, and look for others like you. Even while I’m used to people not seeing these things in me that doesn’t mean I still don’t want them to. I am slowly coming to embrace the fact that it doesn’t matter as much what other people see as long as I know how I feel and am being me to the best of my ability. It’s difficult, but it’s something I’m trying to do.

A few butches on twitter were talking about cross-dressing a while ago, I know Kyle and Sinclair were among them and don’t remember who else, but they said that when asked if they cross-dress daily they would say no because cross-dressing to them would be wearing a skirt. I began to question my own cross-dressing, and part of me thinks I do cross-dress daily.

I think clothes for me are cross-dressing, clothes for me are drag. Sometimes I think I’ve just internalized pomo rhetoric to the extent that I really don’t feel like I have an inherent draw to some gender or another. I know that even though all gender is drag that doesn’t mean that people don’t have a pull to some sort of gender expression or another. I do have a pull to gender expression, but I don’t know what gender expression is pulling me to it.

I wear skirts. I don’t wear pants. Honestly, I don’t wear pants because they are confining and uncomfortable. Although I can’t say that has nothing to do with the meaning of pants in our society since that is so ingrained in us and I’m sure it’s still ingrained in me, but I can say that my conscious reasoning behind it doesn’t have to do with that.

My only issue with skirt wearing is that it’s difficult to be androgynous in a skirt. Or, let me rephrase: it’s difficult to be perceived as androgynous in a skirt. If I were male in a skirt that would be clear, but female in a skirt seems to be perceived as nothing but feminine. Since cutting my hair short I’ve gotten a few more double-takes, a few more curious looks, but I’m generally dismissed as a short-haired girl regardless of how much I try to play with my femme fagette expression.

There are nights I feel more like a femme and nights I feel more like a fagette, and nights where I’m not sure what the fuck I am. The only harmony I can find is by overanalyzing, exploring, and allowing myself and my gender to grow and evolve.

Recently I’ve been thinking about and exploring the idea of packing. Somehow packing has come up quite a bit in the last few weeks, both in the form of reviews (both Holden and Erin Leone have reviewed packies recently) and pictures (Kyle shared some with us for HNT). I’d been thinking about packing in a peripheral way before these all came out, but they definitely brought it to the forefront for me.

I just recently received Silky in the mail, just yesterday actually. A almost flesh-colored cock that has a bendable spine in the middle enabling the user to bend it to any shape the six inches of shaft can bend to. I enjoy making it S shaped and such just to see how well it bends. Because Silky is so bendable it’s also great for hard packing (as opposed to soft packing). One of the main reasons I got Silky is to see how it works for packing.

I packed with Silky for a while last night, though I did it just around the house. It was unusual, but I definitely liked it. The thing about packing isn’t about wanting to have a penis, at least not for me and not for the people I’ve talked about packing with, it’s more of a focal point for gendered energy. It was a reminder more than anything else, something to draw my attention and to bring my consciousness to my gender.

While I was packing I was wearing a dress. My Silky was not really noticeable under the dress at all, unless I sat cross-legged and the dress draped over Silky, but even when that happened it wouldn’t have been apparent unless one was looking for it. It isn’t meant to be obvious, though, and just the fact that I’m packing under a skirt is genderfucky enough for me. The glaring gender “contradiction” is where I thrive. It’s where I find my harmony, even if no one else knows about it.

Size & Sexuality Study – slf

2photoru
Photo via 2photo.ru

This is the eighth of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.

Read the first: luna[KM]
Read the second: icecoldbath
Read the third: Nadia West
Read the fourth: Dee
Read the fifth: E
Read the sixth: Callaigh
Read the seventh: Emily

slf is a 35 year old female who is bisexual and currently engaged. She blogs at Craving More and can be found on FetLife as slf

What size is your body?
I am currently a size ten to twelve depending on the manufacturer. Yikes, I don’t have a tape measure for inches, BUT i think i’m about 31 inches around the waist. (5’9, 155 lbs)

How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
I’m fairly comfortable. But i’ve gained 25 lbs over the last year and a bit, so it’s taking some getting used to. My clothes don’t fit right (squeezing in all the wrong places giving me the most lovely muffin top LOL). I feel much better WITH clothes on than off though…

How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
When i was younger, i was teased for being too skinny. I was about 117 lbs as a teen and people said i was “a carpenter’s dream. Flat as a board and easy to nail” (i was flat – but i wasn’t easy to nail LOL!) So i had a complex about not having curves. I didn’t feel ‘womanly’. Then, in an unhealthy relationship, i got to the weight i am at now, but because he was emotionally and physically vacant – i felt that my size must have something to do with it. I felt ‘fat’ (ridiculous, i know…). When that relationship ended, i dropped 25 lbs within 4 months (i was still eating, but i was MUCH more active). I felt amazing! But now and then a friend would ask, “Are you eating enough”… omg.. yes i am! I love food!! LOL BUT for the first time in my life, i was comfortable in my own skin. Then i met my current partner and we fell in love hard – and fast. Here we are almost two years later and i’m back to the weight i was before – when i thought i was ‘fat’ – but now i feel WOMANLY LOL It’s amazing how much your life circumstances can alter your perceptions of yourself, huh? lol. See, he loves me, wants me, needs me… and more importantly ~I~ love me!!

How important is sexuality to your life?
sexuality is incredibly important to my life. I am a VERY sexual person. I won’t just have sex with ANYONE to fulfill that need – but, i definitley feel like a plant without water when i am not having a sexy time in my life LOL

How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
When i was in my late teens (117 lbs) sex to me was an expression of love. I thought the two went hand in hand – so i was ‘looking for love in all the wrong places’ – i must have had a ~please fuck me over~ sign on my forehead….. (yikes, a string of losers there for a bit). Then i had a couple long term serious relationships. Keep in mind though, that i was an ugly duckling as a teen… men didn’t look at me twice. Apparently, as i progressed through my long term relationships, i blossomed (or so i hear) but i was unaware of the changes (and my partners certainly didn’t let me know they though i was ‘all that and a bag of chips’ lol. So, sure, we had sex – but, i was still equating it with love – so i didn’t know HOW to get ‘dirty’ with a partner. I WANTED to get dirty – but i didn’t know how. Didn’t know if i was ‘allowed’ to be this sweet loving woman and get dirty too LOL Then i was single after 9 years of a not-so-nice relationship. Suddenly POOF – i was sexual…. in a big big way. When i met my current partner, it wasn’t very long before both of us expressed how much we BOTH wanted to explore, but never felt safe doing that before. Well, we’re still exploring and loving every damn minute of it.

How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
Very comfortable. I have no issues talking about sex (as long as the person i’m talking with is ok hearing it lol). My friends often come to me for advice and tips about sex beause they know i’m just going to give it to them straight – and i won’t judge them or laugh at them. I’ve also been involved in some very interesting sexual adventures in the past 3 years involving public nudity (well, public in terms of a party), sexual acts with others present (participating or not), and playing around with clothing and photographs to sort of document this change in my outward sexuality. I’ve been having the time of my LIFE! I’m still shy about certain parts of my body.. but i’m constantly amazed at how i’m able to push those feelings down for the sake of enjoying the moment. That’s it too – enjoying the moment. I let far too many moments slip me by in the past because of one worry or fear or another. Not any more ;)

How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
hmmm… honestly, i think society is ok with it. Well, with seeing my particular brand of body as sexual. The body i have NOW i mean. Not the 117 body i had before.

Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?

Yes, I have LOL My body shape had less to do with my sexuality than one might imagine. I think that life conditions and mind-set at any given moment had much more to do with my sexuality than my body. I just wish i knew then what i know now – because i would have started having fun much earlier. (and age… time on this earth has a major part to play because it provided me with the experiences necessary to see all of this and to adapt accordingly lol)

Anything else you would like to add?
Just one point. I would be MUCH more happy with the size i am now (or any size for that matter) had my stomach not bore the brunt of having three children. The stretchmarks and the strethched skin look so much worse as my weight goes up. I see these amazing women of ALL sizes and the ONE thing i covet the most in them is their smoooooth stomach skin. My stomach’s ‘condition’ has proven to be the most difficult thing to deal with for me (i’m still not ‘over it’) LOL

Reviews: Anal Beads and Two Impact Toys

My new reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I shall be posting full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I will probably be posting reviews Tuesday and Thursday or Tues-Weds-Thurs if I have three reviews to do that week. Fridays are my promotion day on here, so here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

black rubber whip

Black Large Rubber Whip

…Well, what I really like about the Black Large Rubber Whip is that it has a good amount of versatility to it, though most floggers do. It can be light and teasing, trailed softly across sensitive exposed skin. It can be soft and thuddy, launched lightly at a bare bottom to evoke pleasure more than pain. And it can be harsh and stingy, snapped quickly to make the tips lick at tender flesh…

Read the entirety of my Black Large Rubber Whip review here!


bendybeads

Bendy Beads Toy Profile

Name: Bendy Beads

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Material: Silicone

Height: 10 1/2″ (7 1/2″ insertable)
Thickness: smallest bead: 3/4″ – largest bead: 1 3/4″

Pros: Great for beginner or expert anal lovers alike. Fun design, unusual look. Bending abilities lets them mold to you rather than the other way around. Affordable.
Cons: None?

Watch my extensive video review of the Bendy Beads!


red wide-tipped riding bat from SexToy.Com

Red Wide-Tipped Riding Bat

…With crops and bats, unlike canes and floggers, one hits only with the very end of the bat instead of the majority of the object. The wider the end of the bat the less stingy the sensation, which was the majority of my reason for wanting this bat. I have a thinner tipped crop which has a sharper sting to it. While the Red Wide-Tipped Riding Bat does also sting, the sting it produces is much less sharp and more of a thud…

Read my Rentire review of the Red Wide-Tipped Riding Bat here!

If you enjoy reading my adult product reviews please consider subscribing to the RSS feed of my review site Wanton Lotus

Structures and Differences

Onyx and I have had many conversations since Marla came into the mix, understandably so. Sometimes things like these happen at the times you least expect them to, but they usually come at the right times for your life. The universe decided that now was the time for us to get a third or someone who may resemble a possible third or something similar, however it all works out.

These conversations have consisted quite a bit about our own relationship in addition to how Marla might fit in to that relationship. Basically we’re very open to whatever happens as far as her joining both of us or she and I foraging out our own relationship while she and Onyx getting to know each other and be friends as well. We kind of think the former is more likely than the latter, but it all depends on what happens and we aren’t going to put caveats on possibilities. She seems to be thinking along the same lines as us as well.

We’ve had many talks about how strange this all seems, how suddenly it has happened, how we weren’t looking for it to happen but it suddenly did. We’ve talked about how scary it is that it seems to all be working out so well and we all seem to be fitting in together. It’s not often that something comes along that feels so right.

Really the only thing that’s “wrong” with her is that she is also a Top/bottom switch (and I use “wrong” very lightly here). She and I had a conversation about that a bit tonight in which I don’t think she fully understood my meaning for a while. I’m not sure if she still understands what I meant by that, actually.

I went back and read through a few of my entries regarding switching, including the first one I wrote last summer, and I am amused at the changes that have happened since then. I wrote that I wouldn’t want to Top Onyx because I wouldn’t want to switch with one person but rather I would want to have set roles but be able to explore different set roles with different people.

This is still true to an extent, but not the extent that I don’t want to Top Onyx ’cause, well, that happens often. We’ve moved comfortably into a space where we switch freely. What is still true is that I do want to have set roles with different people, but those set roles can include switch. Maybe that seems counter-intuitive in a way, because how can switch be a set role, right? Basically what I mean is having a set role of a switch with someone means that you don’t have set roles, so it’s a bit of an oxymoron, but that’s the way I see it or at least the way I choose to label it, and I’m not sure if I made that clear.

I enjoy switching with one person. I enjoy switching with Onyx and I imagine I’ll enjoy switching with Marla, though our relationship hasn’t progressed to the physical just yet.

I think (and I could be wrong for everyone but at least for me) that switching with one person is mostly done on a Top/bottom level as opposed to a Dominant/submissive level or an Owner/slave level. This is opposed to switching with multiple people which would mean having different roles with different people–being submissive with A, an Owner with B, and a bottom with C for example.

Personally, I want to both be able to switch with one person and multiple people. Have set non-switch roles with some and switch with others. I’m pretty much up for whatever it is that works best with any given person I desire to have a relationship with.

The reason why Marla being a Top/bottom switch is something “wrong” with her (again, not really “wrong” just not ideal is more accurate) is because I already am with a Top/bottom switch and I have no outlet for other levels of power play. It’s not a bad thing or a negative in any way on her or on our potential for a relationship, but it’s a hindrance to something I’m desperately needing: power play.

This is not to say that Top/bottom play isn’t great, because it is, and I enjoy it immensely, but I also desire something more… permanent is maybe the best word? It’s difficult to use terms like this without sounding like I think that there is some inherent betterness to other forms of power play, but I don’t think that way. Power play is just one way to play and regardless of the permanence of the power (Top/bottom to Owner/slave) none is better except what works best for you.

That said, I do have the desire to work on different levels of power play, but I am also over trying to make my relationships to conform to something I want them to be, instead I just want them to be what they are. This may seem like a “duh” kind of attitude, but that’s what Onyx and I tried to do for so long: operate on a level that we didn’t work on. I didn’t really realize what I was doing at the time with trying to make us squeeze into that box, but now that I am aware of it I can try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

I guess it comes down to the fact that I’m open to whatever happens. I want to grow and explore with her and figure out what works right for us without putting limitations on it, and I think that’s what’s going to happen.

At the same time I also really want someone or someones I can play on a different power level with too. Basically: I just want it all.

Marla: an Introduction

adipositivity220
Number 220 from The Adipositivity Project

As many of you may know, someone has featured in mine and Onyx’s life more prominently in the last few weeks than she has before. Remarkably, we met originally on IRC quite a while ago, and I’ve always thought she was interesting and someone I’d like to get to know.

Unbeknownst to either of us, she started following me on twitter because of finding this blog and not because of who she knew on IRC. Eventually we discovered who each other were on both mediums, and we’ve been in light contact ever since.

About a month and a half ago we started interacting on a more regular basis. Before that we talked occasionally but mostly in passing. It started with me guiding her toward some toy review programs, and then kinda blossomed from there.

We’ve been talking more over the course of the last few weeks. At some point she confessed to having a “little queer crush on” me. At some point we exchanged phone numbers and started texting back and forth in addition to DMing (on twitter). At some point we started talking about her coming here in June. And at some point (about eight days ago) we started talking on the phone every night.

She and Onyx have been getting to know each other too, not to downplay their involvement, though it hasn’t been quite as substantial. We are all definitely still in the “getting to know you while also crushing” phase.

We’re both taking it slow and rushing it at the same time, in some ways, which is strange, but it feels really right (sometimes scarily right). Onyx and I have been talking about bringing others in to our relationship or having other relationships for a while now, and now this seems like something that might actually occur.

There is plenty more to say on this subject, and there will be plenty more posts regarding the three of us, both what has happened in the last few weeks and what is still to come.

Page 30 of 66

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