Papageno 4 by selfmade1
I found and used this on last week’s Pleasurists and love it so much I wanted to share it here too. I’ve become enamored with peacock feathers lately and want to do this to my hair. That is all.
I found this embedded in a post by maymay and loved it enough to want to share it while I’m working on many other posts. I’m working on some more kink-centered posts, as has been the theme lately, and should have some out soon especially my post about the re-collaring and a bit more on Owner/cuntpet. It’s wicked long, but worth it, if nothing else watch the last five minutes or so, but you should really listen to all of it.
Her conclusions are ideas that have been popping up for me over and over recently. I believe the idea that vulnerability is a strength in and of itself, that vulnerability and being completely autonomous and open and honest is something to strive for. Enjoy.
A couple of my favorite quotes:
“I know that vulnerability is kind of the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthyness but it appears that it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love”
“This is what I have found:
to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen;
to love with our whole hearts even though there’s no guarantee, and that’s really hard, I can tell you as a parent that is excruciatingly difficult;
to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror when we’re wondering “can I love you this much? can I believe in this this passionately? can I be this fierce about this?” just to be able to stop and instead of catastrophizing what might happen to just say “I/m just so greateful because to feel this vulnerable means I am alive”;
and the last, which I think is the most important is to believe that we’re enough, because when we work from a place that says “I’m enough” then we stop screaming and start listening and we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”
Just like everything else the needs of poly people can change quite often. Since Onyx and I got back together and I returned to Seattle we have had quite a few casual play experiences but neither of us have really been interested in another new relationship. I think at least partially this is because we were both so burned by the last one, but mostly because of the change in our dynamic and activities.
We’ve both gotten considerably more involved in the local occult community than we ever really have been before while we’ve been together. Our D/s-slash-O/p relationship is also far more solid and working. Also we both are working a lot and I’ve been taking a certification class recently. Add all this up together and it means we have just about enough time for each other, let alone someone else.
This is one of the drawbacks of being poly: even with a desire for another relationship there is a point when it comes down to how much time you feasibly have for a new relationship. Now, all of this isn’t to say that either of us would be against a new relationship should something develop organically (the only way we would want it to anyway), but neither of us is actively looking for another partner.
That being said I do still feel the pang of desire for being with a woman. I need a woman in my life with which to have an intimate relationship, that is just a fundamental truth at this point. I’m confident, however, that I will find someone when the time is right. There are just too many things that I am working on and that Onyx and I are working on together so there isn’t much room for anything else. I am very much still poly, as is Onyx, but that doesn’t mean we’re out there actively looking for new relationships.
This isn’t abnormal for poly people, in fact while in the midst of writing this post I came upon the term polysaturated1 which describes what I’m feeling quite perfectly, except I only currently have one partner but many many activities.
This all said, not looking for a relationship also does not exclude the possibility of casual and play partners, in my opinion. Something with friendship and emotions but without being “serious” would be ideal for me at this point in time. I would love the opportunity for purposefully casual play with friends as we’ve already explored a little.
This desire has definitely encouraged me to get looking around more at the local kink community, which I am already making plans to get more into. Not just to find causal play partners but to friend friends first and foremost. While there is definitely bleed over between the occult and the kinky scenes here in Seattle it’s also not a ready topic to be broached with a new acquaintance at occult social events.
Anyone who is already friends with me on FetLife may have noticed that I’ve been on there more lately and I’ve especially been looking at events in my area and tirelessly ticking “going to” or “might be going to” when I find one that interests me. Onyx has been doing much the same. We already signed up for a Delving Into Power workshop with Lee Harrington in February which we’re both very much looking toward. Plus the weekend intensive class I’m taking is over next weekend so we will have more opportunity to go to events than we have in the last two months.
I’ve been slowly pulling our focus toward kink as well as everything else that we’re doing, as I’m sure you may have noticed if you’ve been reading this blog at all the last couple months. Whether or not this happened because of starting the 30 Days of Kink or I started the 30 Days of Kink because my focus was already shifting to kink-related areas is a definite chicken and egg scenario. Regardless, it’s happening.
I’m really looking forward to getting into the community here, and I’m sure I will share as that journey moves along. Perhaps the ebb and flow of poly needs and desires will change once again through this exploration.
This is part of the Sex Toy Day Blog Carnival. For more information see the bottom of this post.
I remember the first time I bought a sex toy. It was at Babeland’s Seattle store with my older sister. I was fourteen at the time, but I always looked old for my age. I picked out a plastic glow-in-the-dark bullet. I still have it, actually. I remember absolutely loving it. I had used various items as “sex toys” previous to this including fruits and vegetables (usually with a condom) and my own hands, of course, but having a sex toy was empowering and made me feel grown up and sexually alive, in control of my own body.
From that point on I bought a lot of sex toys. I bought my first strap on (the Terra Firma Harness) and dildo (Vixen Creations Leo in black) at sixteen online. I regularly shopped at Babeland online and whenever I had excess money I would get a little something for myself. I bought vibrators and dildos as well as various kink items like handcuffs and blindfolds. I mostly used all these on myself or for partners over the phone. I remember my sister giving me a Babeland gift card for christmas when I was eighteen or nineteen.
I have always loved sex toys. In June of 2008 when I discovered a sex toy review program I jumped at the chance to enter it. I reviewed a few products I owned and then got accepted as a reviewer, which lead me to another company and another. I had already been writing this blog since late 2007. That’s when sex toys changed my life again.
From reviewing on my own site and setting up Pleasurists I have met so many amazing and wonderful people. I have met people through this blog as well, which I’m not discounting, but the variety of people I have interacted with through Pleasurists alone is amazing. I feel like part of an online community.
At first sex toys empowered me, enabled me to embrace and take control of my own sexuality. Now sex toys are such a part of my daily life and I love them even more. I can’t imagine my life without sex toys, or at very least I don’t want to.
From What Is Sex Toy Day?
To celebrate, we’re giving away 1000 vibrators to the first 1000 people who enter their info at SexToyDay.com at 11AM EST/8AM PST on November 4th, 2010. Sex Toy Day gives you an opportunity to experience the joy of sex toys completely risk free. There is no cost for the toy or for shipping. It will be shipped with complete discretion in a plain white padded envelope from Sawhorse Enterprises.
This whole idea brought to you by MyPleasure.
Most notably, Essin’ Em is putting together a list of Bloggers Who Make You Think and I wanted to bring it to the attention of my readers just in case, you know, you felt like nominating someone. Perhaps someone whose first name is also a color. Just sayin’.
Yes, this is me asking for nominations. I don’t do this often, but for this list1 I’m willing to do it. Why? Well, first, it’s not an ordered list, it will be alphabetical, which makes the most sense. Ordered lists just seem to be drama magnets and also not necessary. While it may feel awesome to be at the top of lists and there are some people who are happy just to be included there are also plenty of others who get offended by a low number. It’s just not worth it.
Second, it actually takes an effort in order to nominate someone. You’re not just supposed to link to their blog, oh no, you have to link to a specific blog post that made you think. You have to think about the nomination of someone who made you think. Yeah. That’s awesome.
So, if there’s a blog post (recent or old) of mine that made you think, please go nominate me. I’ll be grateful.
Speaking of lists of bloggers, I was also recently included in the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2010. I was included in 2009 and 2008 as well. There’s been some drama surrounding this year’s list which I don’t feel the need to go into. Ultimately, I’m glad to be listed, although I think there are tons of great blogs that aren’t.
I’m taking a class on the weekends, including this weekend. They are intense and rather draining, but we still did a bit of Halloween festivities. On Friday night we watched a few horror-themed pornos: The XXXorcist, Re-Penetrator, and Bella Loves Jenna. The first two are parodies (obviously), the third is just horror-like. They were both awesome and kind of disgusting. Lots of vomit in The XXXorcist, for instance, including during blowjobs and when the possessed women ejaculated. Ew. On the plus side they used toys from Divine Interventions! I seriously need to get my hands on some of those.
When I got home last night (Saturday) Onyx and I decided to take it easy rather than going out. We still got dressed up, though, so that we could take pictures and share them with you. We dressed up as vampires. Overdone, maybe, but we were inspired by the massive amount of True Blood we had been watching, and that some things are classics for a reason.
Happy Halloween, blessed samhain, etc. What did you do for Halloween?
I’m Tai Fenix Kulystin a queer fat trans genderqueer polyamorous switch.
Pronouns: they/them or any gender neutral .
I started this blog in 2007 as my personal exploration of all aspects of my life and relationships, including gender, sexuality, spirituality, kink, polyamory, and pleasure.