Purveyor of Pleasure

This blog is about my exploration of relationships, gender, sexuality, power play, the pitfalls of an overanalytical nature, and my path to becoming a sex educator. I started this blog in early 2008 originally as a way of chronicling my thoughts, feelings, and experiences as Onyx and I attempted a 24/7 M/s relationship. It soon morphed into an exploration of life and sexuality in general and has had many reinventions although the general content has been the same.

The current title: Purveyor of Pleasure, was chosen for a few reasons. First, I believe pleasure and joy to be of central importance in life. Believing that makes being a purveyor of pleasure extremely important in my life as well. I hope to bring pleasure to everyone possible in one way or another, through teaching or personal relationship or any other means. I am a purveyor of pleasure.

Previous titles and URLs: Femme Fagette (http://femmefagette.com/), Femmeinist Fucktoy (http://femmeinistfucktoy.com/), Feminist Fucktoy (http://feministfucktoy.com/), and Cuntpet (http://cuntpet.com/).

Relationships

There are two central figures besides myself in this blog thus far: Onyx and Marla.

Onyx and I have known each other since the end of 2004 and have been together since July of 2005. He collared me November 19th, 2005 and I moved in with him August 26th, 2006. We were in a Male-Dominus/femme-submissive relationship until October of 2008, when we first switched. We then lived together as switches until November of 2009.

In March of 2009 Marla and I begun exploring our relationship long-distance and quickly became friends and lovers. We met face-to-face for the first time May 9th, 2009 and on July 5th, 2009 she moved across country to be with Onyx and myself. We three worked on becoming a polyfidelitous triad until November 2009 when everything imploded and within the next month we all called it quits.

In January of 2010 Onyx and I spent New Year’s together and we reconnected. I moved back to Seattle in March 2010 and we are living together again. We have rediscovered each other not just as people and partners but also in the power roles we once worked so hard to set in place. We are both queer poly switches but currently our relationship dynamic is a combination of Owner/Brat, Owner/Property, Owner/Fucktoy, and Owner/Pet that I like to call Owner/Cuntpet.

What I Do

I write. A lot. I write about relationships, identities, and bdsm here on Purveyor of Pleasure; review sex toys on Wanton Lotus Reviews; and run the sex toy review round-up Pleasurists. I am a Kink Academy Student Blogger until May 1st and am really excited about that, KA is amazing! I also write sex toy product copy and sexual education articles as well as various things that don’t turn out well enough to be posted anywhere.

I also read a lot. I’m a bibliophile of epic proportions. I read books mostly in the realms of occultism, astrology, queer & gender theory, sexuality theory/guides/how-tos, smut, and comics. I’m always down for some well written and engaging fiction and have a soft spot for poetry.

I am a geek. I love gadgets. I design websites. I sell crocheted items and crocheted Cthulhu hats on etsy and love to create things. I also sew, bead, make jewelry, and am learning how to knit. I study astrology and give astrological consultations.

I study sexuality, gender, and kink. I have a passion for learning and for teaching and sharing knowledge. I am working on becoming a sex educator. I have BS degrees in Gender Studies with an emphasis on queer theory and Psychology with an emphasis on human sexuality as well as a certification in Transpersonal Hypnotherapy.

My Identities

I currently identify as a genderqueer fat fagette and glitterfag, queer intellisexual (sapiosexual) polyamorous switch, vegetarian, and occultist.

My gender expression usually comes out within a femme drag queen framework, but my gender is not defined by the clothes I wear. I do not believe in confining my gender to one category or binary gender labels, and I am just as comfortable in my pinstripe suit and doc’s as I am in a dress and heels.

I do not identify with the terms girl, woman, or female though I often present as femme. My femmeininity is a distinctly queer and conscious choice. I also present as a boy sometimes but my masculinity is also tinged with femininity. I feel most like “me” without any clothes, and I feel most in drag when wearing anything at all.

I greatly prefer gender neutral pronouns, any will do: they and their (singular), pe and per, ze and hir, etc. Ultimately I won’t get insulted or upset no matter what pronouns you use but using gender neutral terms to refer to me makes my heart and soul sing.

I’m attracted to minds rather than bodies. Intelligence and wit win me over faster than anything else possible. I tend to be drawn to queers regardless of their sex or gender expression, so I often call myself queersexual. I tend to be drawn to female, genderqueer/fluid, and trans people of all/any gender expressions, but I do also have a gender fetish and I love consciously presented gender of all types. I am an equal opportunity lover.

My Spirituality

I am an atheist-ish occultist with some thelemic, buddhist, and discordian elements thrown in who is also a devotee of Babalon.

I work mostly within a Golden Dawn framework with some Thelema and various other bits thrown in as already mentioned. I do a lot of astrological magick and sex magick. Recently I’ve been getting more into practical alchemy and tantra.

I like a little kink in my spirituality and a little spirituality in my kink. Or, really, a lot. I find the interconnection of spirituality and kink to be endlessly fascinating and am continually evolving and changing how I work with both of those elements separately and together.

As I mentioned, I am a devotee of Babalon, the name for a (post)modern version of the Ishtar/Inanna/Astarte/Aphrodite/etc. archetype and I am a Scarlet Whore and Professional Harlot. I do sexuality work in service to Babalon. I also work with Pan as a companion of the Great Whore. I am becoming a Priestess of Aphrodite in the Living Love Revolution Aphrodite Temple. I am also particularly drawn to Kali, Tara, Lilith/Lilitu, Qadesh, and Hekate among others.