Master and I went to a play party this weekend. It’s the first one either of us had ever actually been to, and hopefully it won’t be the last. Despite having explored BDSM for the last ten years or so I’ve never been anywhere that had an active community that I was a part of.
Juneau, Alaska, where I grew up, has virtually no community, if you look on FetLife there are only three users from there as of now (and one of them signed up last night–I get to greet him today). The next place I lived, Ashland, Oregon, was also a small town. While there is a group in Medford, which is not too far away, I didn’t have a car so it was difficult for me to get involved with that group. I did join the mailing list, but never attended any gatherings.
Master is quite the same way, he’s never been involved with the local community, despite having lived here for nearly nine years. He’s been busy in other communities here and just hasn’t gotten out much in the BDSM community. He’s been exploring BDSM for longer than I have, though has never been part of a community offline. Both of us are rabid online junkies, after all that is how we met, and we have been in online communities for quite some time.
I really enjoyed the play party, although Master and I didn’t end up doing anything during it, but we observed and got to know new people. I really hope that we get to go to another one, and I think we will. I would like to get involved in the community more here. I went to a class of the local group as well a couple weeks ago, and that was… interesting. Honestly it wasn’t the best class to go to, but it wasn’t horrible. I think it could be beneficial to go simply to meet people. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind skipping the classes and just going to play parties.
One of my big problems with living here in Salt Lake is that I have a really hard time clicking with people. Partially, I think, that is because I have a really hard time opening up about myself and being relaxed. It’s difficult for me to open up and talk about things that interest me when I’m not sure who would be offended, etc. Even some of the most liberal people I’ve met here are not people that I could really open up to.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately that what I want to do with my life is teach, but specifically, teach about sex and kink, educate and go to conferences and do all that. It’s hard work, and I know it would be, but it’s what I think I would want to do. I’ve been planning on psychology, but the part of it that fascinates me is sexuality. I want to be the next Carol Queen or Midori or Tristan Taromino or all of them and me.
Tangent aside, back to the play party. I didn’t get to know many people, though I am working on getting better acquainted with those who we came with, and one girl here who I keep bumping into at these things (and we are mutually following on twitter as well). The three of them are people I really want to get to know much better. There were others there, too, who I could see myself getting to know, though I didn’t interact with them as much. Both Master and I were very much observers and listeners, getting the lay of the land, so to speak.
These are the people I was missing! I just hope that these are people who I can start having sexual philosophical discussions with and deep intense conversations. I think they are, I know two are, I think the rest would at least have some interest as well. We shall see how things progress. We still have about six months in this city, maybe more depending on our financial situation, and I really do want to get to know more people and get in with this group.
It’ll be good to expand our social network. And, hey, who knows, maybe we will end up hosting a play party of our own.