“We would like to point out that living full-time in role is not the “gold standard” of BDSM. We see far too many players who feel that is they’re not “24/7,” they’re somehow wrong, or not “real” dominants. If this doesn’t sound like the way you want to live, if BDSM is a more comfortable fit in your life when you keep it in scene and drop roles the rest of the time, don’t let anybody tell you that you’re inferior. However, if full-time BDSM does feel like a good fit for you, we encourage you to try it”
…
Fluidity
“We’ve been friends with many people in full-time dominant/submissive relationships. Our observation is that when we spend time with such people as friends, we rarely see them behaving in ways much different than any other couple: the day-to-day demands of running a life remain the same, and must be addressed by someone or other. And almost nobody can be in full control of everything at every waking moment–or would like to be. While the dominants in novels (and sometimes chatrooms) express their dominance nonstop, in reality this approach doesn’t often work out very well.
“However, what we do see in successful D/S couples is a very strong ability to read each other’s signals and a very fluid approach to moving in and out of their dominant and submissive mindsets–so the couple who at one moment is discussing someone’s problems at work may at the next moment be in full dominant/submissive mode, with the dominance in complete control and the submissive completely pliable to hir will.
“What kinds of signals do these people give each other to make such extraordinary transitions possible? Some might be consciously chosen, like using a particular name (“boy” or “girl,” for example) or a particular behavior (a submissive kneeling, a dominant placing hir hand on the back of the submissive’s neck). Others are less conscious,more intuitive–a tone of voice, a shift in body language. Longtime D/S couples grow extremely skilled in reading such signals and responding to each other’s shifting needs and desires as the moment dictates.”
From The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

Master and I are going to start a new aspect of our M/s relationship today, basically going with some training ideas, or the ideas in our contract. He wants me to call him Master in front of our roommates, too, and that part scares me a little. I’m a rather private person, and I don’t really enjoy the idea of doing that, but I’ll do it. It’ll be interesting.

I don’t know what other training ideas of mine he wants to incorporate yet, we basically decided on this last night, and I’m excited about it, but also scared, as I mentioned above, but also a little in general. I wonder about my ability to submit, I wonder if I’ll be good enough, if I’ll live up to both of our standards, if he even wants this.

We talked last night about 24/7 type things, about our M/s status in our relationship, about what I want. We didn’t really talk about what he wants. I don’t know what he wants most of the time, and I hope it’s this. He says he wants what I want, but has to get over his initial aversion to it. The last time he tried to enter into a 24/7 thing it ended with the woman completely dependent on him, 100%, and on some level he knows that won’t happen to me, but on another level he’s frightened that it might. This was something that only dawned on me yesterday, and so I brought it up, and he confirmed it. I should have thought of it before, but he doesn’t talk much about the D/s aspects of himself and his ex-wife, and I think that’s probably majorly because he’s not too happy/proud of them. I won’t go into details, as it’s not my right, but I can understand that.

On some level he knows that I am different, that I will not be like she was, but there is still that fear. It’s the same fear I have of him sometimes, though for a different reason. I have that “you’re going to leave me” fear, even though I know he won’t, not for years if ever, I know that he is different than the people I’ve been with/around before, but I still have that fear. It’s hard to get over those preconceived notions of current situations that we’ve gained from previous ones. But together, we will.

So far today I’m loving it. I love calling him Master, I love doing things with him, being with him, doing what he asks of me, and pleasing him in general. I’ve needed this, I’ve missed this, and I’m glad that we’re getting to a place where it’s being incorporated. I feel more alive, content, and fulfilled than I have in a long while.

A collar like one of these two, or some combination thereof (but not ruby, like the first one is, garnet, which closely resembles what Master first described to me to be the collar he would like to get me:
(14:49:41) (@living`dead`pet) so, i decided that mentioning wanting to buy me a collar but then not getting one is not nice, despite of the fact that you can’t find one. that’s not the point.
(14:50:20) (@Pan) Oh I am getting you one
(14:50:33) (@living`dead`pet) i know
(14:50:58) (@living`dead`pet) but i want it now =P
(14:51:16) (@Pan) Maybe I’ll get you a fairly basic one at first until I can afford to have another custom made
(14:52:35) (@living`dead`pet) it could work
(14:52:47) (@living`dead`pet) i don’t completely mind waiting, only i do
(14:52:50) (@living`dead`pet) if that makes sense
(14:52:52) (@Pan) The one I envision would be pretty pricey, but very pretty
(14:53:02) (@living`dead`pet) oh?
(14:53:51) (@Pan) mmmhmmm
(14:55:01) (@Pan) Thinking of an all metal collar, with three rings and set with garnets
(14:56:13) • @living`dead`pet grins
(14:56:23) (@living`dead`pet) that sounds nice. though, yes, pricey
(14:57:38) (@Pan) But a nice leather collar in the meanwhile to let you get used to wearing it would be nice
(14:57:59) • @living`dead`pet nods
(14:58:37) • @Pansmiles

The first one shown is ruby, as mentioned, and I would want garnets, the second one has onyx. We were thinking one ring and maybe a garnet, onyx, garnet pattern or visa versa, something like this:

only with garnets and onyx, but the changing colors and number is correct. It’s super expensive, though, but I love it, and so does Master.

We also figure, with that, since it’s smallish I’d be able to wear play collars with it as well, and I could get a collar to wear at work that would be work-acceptable which would cover that one. So…

For work I want:

in black.

For play I want these two (and more):

And then generally I’m wanting to get both The Master’s Manual and The Compleat Slave both by Jack Rinella, two that go together and have both me and Master read them. Also wanting SlaveCraft which is written by “a grateful slave” and Guy Baldwin. They both seem interesting. I also want tons of other bondage books, but those are my current top-of-the-wishlist.