lotusWelcome! I’m Tai Quyn Kulystin, the creatrix of Purveyor of Pleasure. I am a educator, artist, occultist, harlot, and gentlefemme about town. This blog is my personal exploration of gender, sexuality, spirituality, kink, and the pitfalls of an overanalytical nature.

I currently identify as a queer fat genderqueer polyamorous switch and prefer the pronouns ne/nem/nir or they/them. I spend a lot of my time thinking about sacred sexuality, sacred kink, relationships, queer theory, depth psychology, sexological bodywork, and so much more. I'm in a long-term live-in relationship with my partner Onyx, and I also have a few other relationships and lovers.
Read more about this site & me→


07.01

2009

Pleasurists #35

temptation
by Matt Miller

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #34? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #36? Submit it here before Sunday July 5th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Sublime by Carrie Ann
  • Insertion with this toy is wonderful. Thrusting is amazing. It’s girthy yet not huge, filling but not uncomfortable and the bumps and bulges really stimulate the inner labia and vaginal entrance.

lanjut →

Happy Birthday to Me – Have Some Presents!

cake
from cakecentral

Today is my birthday, and since I love giving as much as I love receiving I decided to have a massive contest and give away tons of great products!!!

I asked just about every company I’ve worked with to be involved and got an overwhelming response! Pink Cherry, Babeland, Tabu Toys, Tantus, Ophoria, SexToy.com, and Lust Cosmetics all jumped at the chance to sponsor this huge birthday giveaway and I’m still waiting to hear from a few others so there may be even more prizes before the contest is over!

The Prizes


Bare As You Dare Harness AND Beautifully Bare Wet Naturals Lube from Tabu Toys! The BAYD Harness is one of my Top Toys, I absolutely love this small yet sturdy and versitile harness so I wanted to give one away. The Beautifully Bare lube is a great paraben- and glycerin-free lube You can read my BAYD Harness review here and my Beautifully Bare review here.


LELO Bob from PinkCherry Sex Toys! If you know me at all you know I’m a sucker for LELO products, Bob is also one of my Top Toys and a great cute little butt plug! You can read my review here.


Beyond No 3 from Ophoria! The Beyond No 3 has the esteemed place in my heart of being the first toy to give me a g-spot orgasm. It’s that good. It’s also one of my Top Toys and you can watch and read my review here.


Candy Apple Wrist Restraints from Babeland! (Note: Babeland only ships domestic). These are wonderful and gorgeous, I’m tempted to keep them all for myself but I would rather see a lucky winner get them!


Three mini-kits (three items each) from Lust Cosmetics who I haven’t actually worked with before but am going to have the ability to try the products I’m giving out as well. Ever since reading DominaDoll’s review I’ve been curious.


SIX products from Tantus! From left to right above:

  1. Alumina Motion – a gorgeous double-ended aluminum dildo. (Size: 1″ to 1 3/8″ diameter, 8.25″ long).
  2. Curve – Tantus’ newest dildo with a wider harness-compatable base and ridges along the g-spot curved toy. I own one and it’s wonderful though I’ve not yet reviewed it. (Size: 1 3/8″ diameter, 6″ long)
  3. Techno (Peacock color) – a gorgeous harness-compatable dildo/vibrator. The peacock color is possibly my favorite Tantus color. (Size: 1 3/8″ diameter, 7″ length)
  4. Acute (Pink Pearl color) – a g-spot curved hareness-compatable dildo (Size: 1.25″ diameter, 5″ long)
  5. Infinity Small (Pink Pearl color) – A cute little butt plug with a great tapered base (Size: 1.25″ diameter, 4″ long)
  6. Infinity Large (Pink Pearl color) – A slightly larger version of the Infinity (Size: 1.5″ diameter, 4.8″ long)


Wet Together Lube from SexToy.com! A lube designed for couples (there’s a “his” and “hers”), you can read Red’s review for a better idea of it.


ID Glide and ID Juicy Wild Cherry from PinkCherry Sex Toys! Both come in handy pump bottles which seems far superior to the squeeze bottles of old.

How To Enter

There are three ways for you to enter and the more you enter the more chance you have of winning!

Tweet about it
If you have a twitter account simply post:
RT @ScarletStSyr To celebrate my birthday I’m giving away some gifts to YOU! For rules & more info: http://twurl.nl/a8zwyu RT to enter!
Your tweet MUST include @ScarletStSyr otherwise I won’t see it. Feel free to change around the text a bit as long as it still includes “RT @ScarletStSyr” something about the contest and the “http://twurl.nl/a8zwyu” it will be counted. Only one RT per day (between 12am and 11:59pm Pacific Time) will be counted.

Comment
on this post, the contest info post on Wanton Lotus Reviews, or the info post on Pleasurists. Tell me about a sexy birthday experience you had or would like to have. You may comment up to three times total on one or more blogs but each comment must be a different experience/desire.

Give me a gift!
I’m not talking about buying me something, no no! Send me a virtual gift of some sort: a dirty limerick featuring me, send me a picture of the two of us photoshopped together or some other image-based entry, an erotic story featuring me, anything that you want to gift! Physical or monetary presents will not be accepted for the contest. Since I don’t want to be too greedy only one gift per person will be accepted. Email your gifts to lotus AT scarletstsyr.com or DM or @reply me with them on twitter.

Rules/guidelines

The greatest number of entries one person could have is twenty-five (25). Once an individual has won something they are ineligible to win further prizes.

Not all ways of entering are created equal. For each tweet you will be entered once (up to fourteen times), for each comment you will be entered twice (up to three times), and for each “gift” you will be entered five times (once). Think of it like your name being put in a hat each of those times so the more times you are entered the greater chance you have for your name being pulled!

The deadline to enter is Monday July 13th at noon Pacific Time however prizes will start being given out on Monday July 6th. Prizes will be given out once a day starting July 6th until all prizes are gone.

You must be willing to give me your address if you win (obviously).

Finally, a big huge thank you to the companies who are sponsoring this contest!

Polyamorous to Polyfidelitous

If there were a Venn-diagram for non-monogamous relationships it would probably start as a big circle for non-monogamy. Inside that would be polyamory and inside that would be polyfidelity. Each of these circles would be blurry or maybe dotted lines instead of hard ones. Each circle would overlap with multiple other relationship configurations and various other types of relationship orientations and… well, maybe a Venn-diagram isn’t the most helpful illustration.

When defining a term that has to do with relationships or personal identities in any manner there is always some level of fluidity and openness to take into account. You may know this already, but I’m starting with the basics.

In the book Opening Up Tristan Taormino defines polyfidelity as “a multipartner group of three or more people who have made a commitment to each other to be in a primary relationship.” This can be different or exactly the same as polyamory simply depending on the identification of those within the group. There are no hard and fast lines here, and the terms really just depend on what the people within the relationship are most comfortable with.

Despite the “fidelity” part of the term, which makes most people think of having closed sexual conduct polyfidelity does not always exclude other relationships outside of the polyfidelitous group. Fidelity essentially means “faithful” and doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with sexual faithfulness (though it can). Taormino describes two types of polyfidelitous groups: closed and open, meaning closed or open to new relationships outside of the primary. Not all members of a polyfidelitous group have to be sexually involved, either.

While I dislike the terms “primary” and “secondary” or so on and I think maybe a better way to describe it is that everyone in a polyfidelitous relationship is committed to everyone else. Even if there isn’t a sexual or romantic relationship between the individuals there is always an emotional one and a commitment to being with the other in some way shape or form.

As I mentioned, this could look identical to polyamory or it could look completely different, it just depends on how the individuals want to identify.

So, why am I writing all this about polyfidelity? I will probably be using it in the future and now I can reference this post whenever I mention it.

I posted a while ago about our transition from mono to poly to triad and Not long after that I brought this difference up to Marla and Onyx and we all agreed that the definition for polyfidelitous fit our relationship.

Generally speaking the term triad is used to describe a polyfidelitous relationship between three people, so we had already kind of figured that out but at the same time I’m a sucker for semantics and finding new terms and labels to describe myself so that I can add them on to the long list of labels I already embrace to make such a long string of labels I eventually essentially become label-less again, though that’s another post.

Another term Taormino mentions in Opening Up is “trilationship” which is fairly self-explanatory I think. I pronounce it similar to tree-lationship so it sounds similar to relationship only different–also because pronouncing it try-lationship is kind of awkward. This is another term I will be using in the future.

Crazy Love

I have all these drafts started and so many things I want to write about but it’s funny how things are more difficult to write about when they are going good. While we three have had our ups and downs as of late I’ve been able to process my thoughts and express them to both Marla and Onyx and I usually use this blog for that so the frustration or confusion that usually fuels my blog posts is gone replaced by just a contented happiness, excitement, and knowledge that everything is going to work.

There are plenty of fears, insecurities, and worries to go around, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time I have confidence that we are making the right decisions, growing together, and growing closer as a triad.

If you don’t follow me on twitter you might not know that Marla is moving here. She is moving to Seattle to be with us and share our physical lives and our apartment as she already shares our daily lives and our love. She will be here early July 5th just past midnight (the night of July 4th). Obviously we’ve been talking about her moving here for a while although it definitely seems very sudden but that’s not really a bad thing. Due to her current living situation it’s just best for all involved if she get up here as quickly as possible, which is an ideal situation for me as well because that means she will be here really damn soon!

It’s amazing and wonderful and in so many ways I just can’t believe that it’s really happening, but it is! I’m sure it will feel surreal until a week or two after she’s here and we all realize that she’s not actually going anywhere.

Stay tuned for steamy sex stories and general trilationship and poly musings once I can get to finishing them, but in the meantime I’m leaving you with a song that has been stuck in my head for a few days. It’s monogamy-centric but I think it fits both of my loves, you just have to change “she” to “they” or something like that.


Song starts at 0:19

I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles
And the heavens open every time she smiles
And when I come to her that’s where I belong
Yet I’m running to her like a rivers song

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

Shes got a fine sense of humor when I’m feeling low down
And when I come to her when the sun goes down
Take away my trouble, take away my grief
Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

Yes I need her in the daytime
Yes I need her in the night
Yes I want to throw my arms around her
Kiss her hug her kiss her hug her tight

And when I’m returning from so far away
She gives me some sweet lovin’ brighten up my day
Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole
Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul

06.22

2009

Pleasurists #34

candles
from dockera.com via art or porn

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #33? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #35? Submit it here before Sunday June 28th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
Note: Monday the 29th is the editor’s birthday, Pleasurists #35 may be delayed next week.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Dream Massager G by Sleeping Dreamer
  • I love this vibrator for it’s power. Yes, these vibrations carry throughout the entirety of my vaginal canal and even vibrate down into my ass. I can feel the vibrator through the mattress, yea, that good. The Dream Massage G is to my vagina what the Hitachi is to my clitoris.

lanjut →

Three (HNT)

three

Pushing a little late on the HNT side for this week, but I wanted to sneak in an image from the weekend Marla was up here not too long ago. There will be stories from that weekend as well, but this is the first hint into it.

The arm on top is Onyx’s, his hand is caressing Marla’s cunt while she lay on her back. Her thigh is in the middle, I was between her legs and taking the picture, the handprint on my thigh is from her hand. She knows just how to hit to make the prettiest marks though they don’t last too long just long enough for my crazy pasty-pink skin to raise in a hand-shaped welt.

This picture was from our first night spent all together, from some of the first sexual moments we shared together. Everything that happened is still to come.

The Day & Parting: The End of the Beginning

holdinghands
from ArTeTeTrA

Chances are I’ll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You’ll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I’ll hold you and I’ll offer
All I have”
-Chances Are

This is the fifth and final installment from my NYC/DC trip continued from The Beginning: New York City, The (Un)conference: Getting to D.C. & Sex 2.0, The Meeting: Kissing At Red Lights, and The First Night: Getting Down to Business. This is less chronological than the last few and more just what I remember.

We awoke after just a few hours, hungry for each others bodies again, first moving to snuggle before fucking. It was Sunday, which was also Mother’s Day so we both called our mothers and wished them well. I didn’t get ahold of mine right away, but my Dad called and I talked with him. I had mentioned to my parents about meeting Marla prior to our actual meeting and although I had never talked with either about my being polyamorous they were both completely unphased at the idea of me being involved with more than one person. I hadn’t really gone into any other detail.

After our daughterly duties were done I crawled back into the big fluffy white bed with her and we called Onyx, eager to hear his voice. Although he had said the night before that he wasn’t sure if he would be able to hear us fooling around on the phone I decided that he needed to because I knew how much he wanted to. I assumed his hesitance came from fear and potential pain, so I made sure he was included every step of the way.

I started rubbing Marla’s clit and inserted two fingers into her, making her tell Onyx what I was doing each time I changed something, calling her names and getting her hotter, letting him hear us both as I played with her. I soon inserted a third finger, and then a fourth, stretching her deliciously around my fingers, making her beg for more as I opened her up. Onyx was stroking his cock at this point while I was fucking her with my fingers and rubbing her clit with my other hand.

I remember she came like that, but I don’t remember how many times.

My thumb slid into her wet and open cunt so that I could press my hand further inside, all the while curling up and playing with her g-spot and rubbing her clit, driving her mad while Onyx listened and I took pleasure in making her writhe and come. I delighted in the feeling of her spongy slick walls gripping my hand as she got off on me pressing more and more of my hand into her, pulling out and doing it again, over and over, filling her up.

Once she was sated, I believe we listened to Onyx come over the phone as he stroked his cock for his two happily listening partners thousands of miles away. He grunted and groaned and we encouraged him as he got to the edge, asking him to come for us.

Then attentions were turned to me, though I protested a little because I hadn’t completely been able to come despite wanting to and also I was feeling a little insecure about coming with Marla while on the phone with Onyx, I was stupidly thinking that he would prefer to hear her be fucked than me. This way of thinking has since been cleared up, but it was present at the time.

I lay on my back and Marla began rubbing my clit and pressing her fingers into me, doing what I had done to her earlier, fucking me with her fingers while I sat back and took it. I told Onyx what she was doing so that he knew what was going on. I moaned and writhed as she fucked me so wonderfully, and despite my previous inability to I ended up coming while she fucked me with Onyx on the phone. It wasn’t as hard as any of us would have liked, but it definitely was an orgasm.

Onyx declared that he wanted more pictures, so we ended up taking a few for him and chatting until we decided we really needed to order something to eat. We decided on Thai food and after much roundaboutness and much distraction (read: fucking) we ended up getting it a few hours later. Sitting in bed we ate our food, Marla’s first introduction to Thai food, and made makeshift chopsticks out of coffee stirrers.

We lounged, fucked, talked with Onyx, twittered, and played Mafia Wars and My Zoo for the next few hours before as we got in touch with Jay and Ellie who were at Sex 2.0 and were staying a couple extra days after the conference to see the sights and such. We all decided to meet up to go swimming and just generally spend some time with each other.

Once we got more fucking, fooling around, and cuddling out of our system we finally got our suits on and headed to the pool waiting for Jay and Ellie to arrive. We had the desire to have some pool sex, but there was a lifeguard and other people around, but we did sneak in much fondling and groping under the water. Ellie and Jay arrived for the last 20 minutes or so of swimming, then we all headed back to our room to dry off, change, and chat.

After much great conversation about a wide range of topics they left and we were alone again and hungry! We called Onyx, ordered food, snuggled, and again ate it in bed. That night we were too damn tired to fuck again, which was pretty remarkable. We lay in bed cuddling and drifted to sleep in each others’ arms.

The next morning we awoke later than we would have liked, and after cuddling we immediately started packing and getting ready to go. We had to be out of the hotel by 11 but Marla did not have to head back home until about 1pm. I nearly cried while we were packing, knowing that we were going to part. After packing and hurrying out of the hotel we got to her car and headed to the same Thai restaurant we had delivered to us the day before.

We were both filled with sadness that we would have to part so soon and ate our meal sitting next to each other and often holding hands. There were moments tears filled my eyes and I wanted to cry for I was anticipating the missing of her and having to say goodbye.

Once we were finished we made our way to the Bolt Bus and said goodbye in her car. Many tears and hugs and kisses were exchanged, although I teared up I didn’t cry as hard as she did because I wanted to be strong for her and help her with the pain I had been struggling with for hours. It took us quite some time to actually part, preferring to linger in each others’ presence for as long as possible.

I watched her car until she was too far away to see, waving and sending my love with her for her long drive back home. We exchanged texts and calls while she was driving home and I was on the bus back to New York. I had a couple more days in New York after that, but quite literally all I did was sleep and see my sisters, recovering from the amazing weekend and lack of sleep. On Wednesday I made my way to JFK and headed back to Seattle.

06.15

2009

Pleasurists #33

roses
from fotodigital.ro via art-or-porn

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #32? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #34? Submit it here before Sunday June 21st at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets by Epiphora
  • On the front of the package, a circle of orange spines say, “Try Me.” You feel them; they are glossy, pointy, somewhat pliable. They remind you of body jewelry, Hot Topic, the 90s. But this tactile experience does not prepare you for the sensation of the spines in your pussy.

    Editor’s Note: It should be no secret that I love Epiphora’s reviews, and this is a particularly wonderful one. Often reviews of bad toys are better than raving reviews of wonderful toys that we reviewers can’t get enough of and this is one such review. The absolute horror of the toy is at once frightening and intriguing as Epiphora takes you through her attempts of trying to find any redeeming quality in it whatsoever.

lanjut →

What Was and Will Be

So much has been going on lately I again don’t know where to start. I need to finish up my posts on D.C. but now it’s difficult to do that since Marla was just here over the weekend and I have a lot of wonderful stories to tell from that. Being able to be with both of my loves at once was amazing and fulfilling. There have been discoveries since the weekend as well in the few short days that I want to write about also… so much to talk about!

I’m definitely going to have one more post about D.C. with as much as I remember. I think I am going to end up writing things about this past weekend in a much different way, probably out of order and somewhat disjointed, I’ll do a basic write-up without too many details and then just write-ups of specific instances like Marla and I sucking Onyx’s cock together, Marla fingering me at the bus stop, fucking Marla while Onyx fucked me, and so on. Lots of juicy stories to tell!

Also, we’ve started exploring Daddy/boi play in the last couple of days, and a little on Monday before Marla left. It’s been a new adventure and I will be writing about that soon as well. Mostly Marla and myself have played with it, though Onyx and I attempted a bit last night that ended up very different and less Daddy/boi and more just me as a boi if that makes sense. It was very hot, though. Everything’s been very hot.

This is another of those posts-about-posting, which I’m always amused when I write. I’ve got so much to tell! It’s very exciting!

Reviews: Fun Factory Week!

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

This past week was Fun Factory Week on Wanton Lotus! Five Fun Factory reviews in five days!

Boss (Lady) Review Teaser

Name: Boss (Lady)

Type: Vibrator

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Material: Silicone in a velvety-matte finish

Length: 8 3/4″ (total), 6 3/4″ (insertable)

Width: 1 3/5″

Girth: 5 1/2″

Charge: Four AAA Batteries

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of the Boss (Lady) Review!


Freestyle Cuffies Review Teaser

Name: Cuffies – Freestyle

Type: Wrist Cuffs

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Materials: Rubber (cuffs), ribbon, and aluminum (chain).

Length: 7 3/4″ cuffs, 23″ with chain
Width: 1 1/4 to 1 1/2″

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Read and watch the entirety of the Cuffies Freestyle Review!


Smartballs Review Teaser

Name: Smartballs

Type: Vaginal Balls/Kegel Exercisers

Material: Elastomed – more on this material in the review.

Length: 4 1/2″

Width: 1 3/8″

Girth: 4 1/2″

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of the Smartballs Review!


Bloomy Review Teaser

Name: Bloomy

Type: Anal Toy & Dildo

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Length: 5 1/2″ (total) 4″ (insertable)
Width: 1 1/2″
Girth: 4 1/4″

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of the Bloomy Review!


Angelo Review Teaser

Name: Angelo

Type: Vibrator

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Material: Silicone

Length: 5 1/2″ (total) – 4 1/4″ (insertable)
Width: 1 1/2″
Girth: 4 3/4″

Charge: Two AAA Batteries

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Read the entirety of the Angelo Review!

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