taiWelcome! I’m Tai Scarlet Kulystin, the creatrix of Purveyor of Pleasure. I am a somatic sexuality educator, occultist, professional harlot, and gender & relationships coach. This blog is my personal exploration of gender, sexuality, spirituality, kink, and the pitfalls of an overanalytical nature.

I identify as a queer fat genderqueer polyamorous switch and prefer the pronouns ne/nem/nir or they/them. I spend a lot of my time thinking about sacred sexuality, sacred kink, relationships, the body, queer theory, depth psychology, erotic psychology, sexological bodywork, and so much more. I'm in a long-term live-in relationship with my partner Onyx, and I also have a few other relationships and lovers.
Read more about this site & me→


07.13

2009

Pleasurists #37

wine
Via photokonkurs.com

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #36? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #38? Submit it here before Sunday July 19th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Outlaw Leather’s The Fix by Beautiful Dreamer
  • It also works very nicely for when he has already came multiple times and I still want more- I strap this on him, set him in a chair, and fuck myself silly. He enjoys watching me get off, I enjoy the intimacy I still feel by being connected to him, and I have my blissful orgasms.

    Editor’s Note: Not only is this a wonderful review, as always, from Beautiful Dreamer, but just recently my girlfriend and I were remarking how we needed to try a thigh harness and so of course there was not one but two thigh harness reviews in this week’s list, gotta love when things like that happen. I hadn’t seen The Fix before, and it’s a gorgeous product worthy of this great review.

lanjut →

Dirty Boi/Balcony (HNT)

Though it’s technically no longer Thursday I’m all about posting dirty pictures for HNT but late or whatever. I don’t usually “participate” as far as posting on the weekly HNT round-up thing but I like any excuse to post pictures. Mostly I participate in HNT whenever I have the inspiration to do so.

Last week Carnivalesq asked me to help her choose what pictures to use for her HNT, one of which was a packing picture. Being of the loving-to-pack persuasion as well I suggested that this week she, Marla, and I should all post packing pictures, and even though I’m a day late (and Marla will be too) we definitely wanted to participate!

Carnivalesq’s HNT (password protected) and Marla’s HNT!

These first couple are from a few weeks ago, taken specifically for my Daddy.

smallpacky

packing

While we were out on our balcony taking Marla’s HNT we decided to take a few pictures while both of us were packing and stroking each other’s cocks.

balconygrope2

balconygrope

balconykiss

07.05

2009

Pleasurists #36

heels
by Massimo Innocenti

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #35? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #37? Submit it here before Sunday July 12th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

lanjut →

Sickeningly Sweet (HNT)

These were taken less than an hour before we all went to the airport last time she was here. A lot has happened since.

three-way kiss

I think her latest post sums up quite a lot, and captures the excitement and fear we all are feeling for different reasons on her moving here. She will be here on Saturday the 4th indefinitely.

three-way kiss

She is making a wonderful sacrifice for us, leaving her family, friends, and life behind to come up here to Seattle to be with us, to start a new life. It’s not going to be easy, and we’re all apprehensive about what lies ahead while also being extremely excited to be together.

three-way kiss

I love them both so amazingly much. Every day brings her closer to us, and every day brings us all closer together in one way or another. We are all realizing past mistakes and committed to correcting them. We are dedicated and committed to each other, and that will get us farther than many.

The thing I’ve heard most from people when telling them about our relationship dynamic is that triads aren’t easy. This is undoubtedly true, though no relationship worth having is going to be easy. Throw in the fact that one partner has been thousands of miles away for the last six months and that just makes it that much more complicated. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s definitely been worth it.

As we creep closer to that wonderful moment when we will all be together again my excitement builds far faster than my fear. I know everything will work out, we’ve been through so much already that we know how committed we all are to the other. Living together will create new unique challenges and issues to work through but we will get through them together and be stronger because of it.

07.01

2009

Pleasurists #35

temptation
by Matt Miller

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #34? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #36? Submit it here before Sunday July 5th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Sublime by Carrie Ann
  • Insertion with this toy is wonderful. Thrusting is amazing. It’s girthy yet not huge, filling but not uncomfortable and the bumps and bulges really stimulate the inner labia and vaginal entrance.

lanjut →

Happy Birthday to Me – Have Some Presents!

cake
from cakecentral

Today is my birthday, and since I love giving as much as I love receiving I decided to have a massive contest and give away tons of great products!!!

I asked just about every company I’ve worked with to be involved and got an overwhelming response! Pink Cherry, Babeland, Tabu Toys, Tantus, Ophoria, SexToy.com, and Lust Cosmetics all jumped at the chance to sponsor this huge birthday giveaway and I’m still waiting to hear from a few others so there may be even more prizes before the contest is over!

The Prizes


Bare As You Dare Harness AND Beautifully Bare Wet Naturals Lube from Tabu Toys! The BAYD Harness is one of my Top Toys, I absolutely love this small yet sturdy and versitile harness so I wanted to give one away. The Beautifully Bare lube is a great paraben- and glycerin-free lube You can read my BAYD Harness review here and my Beautifully Bare review here.


LELO Bob from PinkCherry Sex Toys! If you know me at all you know I’m a sucker for LELO products, Bob is also one of my Top Toys and a great cute little butt plug! You can read my review here.


Beyond No 3 from Ophoria! The Beyond No 3 has the esteemed place in my heart of being the first toy to give me a g-spot orgasm. It’s that good. It’s also one of my Top Toys and you can watch and read my review here.


Candy Apple Wrist Restraints from Babeland! (Note: Babeland only ships domestic). These are wonderful and gorgeous, I’m tempted to keep them all for myself but I would rather see a lucky winner get them!


Three mini-kits (three items each) from Lust Cosmetics who I haven’t actually worked with before but am going to have the ability to try the products I’m giving out as well. Ever since reading DominaDoll’s review I’ve been curious.


SIX products from Tantus! From left to right above:

  1. Alumina Motion – a gorgeous double-ended aluminum dildo. (Size: 1″ to 1 3/8″ diameter, 8.25″ long).
  2. Curve – Tantus’ newest dildo with a wider harness-compatable base and ridges along the g-spot curved toy. I own one and it’s wonderful though I’ve not yet reviewed it. (Size: 1 3/8″ diameter, 6″ long)
  3. Techno (Peacock color) – a gorgeous harness-compatable dildo/vibrator. The peacock color is possibly my favorite Tantus color. (Size: 1 3/8″ diameter, 7″ length)
  4. Acute (Pink Pearl color) – a g-spot curved hareness-compatable dildo (Size: 1.25″ diameter, 5″ long)
  5. Infinity Small (Pink Pearl color) – A cute little butt plug with a great tapered base (Size: 1.25″ diameter, 4″ long)
  6. Infinity Large (Pink Pearl color) – A slightly larger version of the Infinity (Size: 1.5″ diameter, 4.8″ long)


Wet Together Lube from SexToy.com! A lube designed for couples (there’s a “his” and “hers”), you can read Red’s review for a better idea of it.


ID Glide and ID Juicy Wild Cherry from PinkCherry Sex Toys! Both come in handy pump bottles which seems far superior to the squeeze bottles of old.

How To Enter

There are three ways for you to enter and the more you enter the more chance you have of winning!

Tweet about it
If you have a twitter account simply post:
RT @ScarletStSyr To celebrate my birthday I’m giving away some gifts to YOU! For rules & more info: http://twurl.nl/a8zwyu RT to enter!
Your tweet MUST include @ScarletStSyr otherwise I won’t see it. Feel free to change around the text a bit as long as it still includes “RT @ScarletStSyr” something about the contest and the “http://twurl.nl/a8zwyu” it will be counted. Only one RT per day (between 12am and 11:59pm Pacific Time) will be counted.

Comment
on this post, the contest info post on Wanton Lotus Reviews, or the info post on Pleasurists. Tell me about a sexy birthday experience you had or would like to have. You may comment up to three times total on one or more blogs but each comment must be a different experience/desire.

Give me a gift!
I’m not talking about buying me something, no no! Send me a virtual gift of some sort: a dirty limerick featuring me, send me a picture of the two of us photoshopped together or some other image-based entry, an erotic story featuring me, anything that you want to gift! Physical or monetary presents will not be accepted for the contest. Since I don’t want to be too greedy only one gift per person will be accepted. Email your gifts to lotus AT scarletstsyr.com or DM or @reply me with them on twitter.

Rules/guidelines

The greatest number of entries one person could have is twenty-five (25). Once an individual has won something they are ineligible to win further prizes.

Not all ways of entering are created equal. For each tweet you will be entered once (up to fourteen times), for each comment you will be entered twice (up to three times), and for each “gift” you will be entered five times (once). Think of it like your name being put in a hat each of those times so the more times you are entered the greater chance you have for your name being pulled!

The deadline to enter is Monday July 13th at noon Pacific Time however prizes will start being given out on Monday July 6th. Prizes will be given out once a day starting July 6th until all prizes are gone.

You must be willing to give me your address if you win (obviously).

Finally, a big huge thank you to the companies who are sponsoring this contest!

Polyamorous to Polyfidelitous

If there were a Venn-diagram for non-monogamous relationships it would probably start as a big circle for non-monogamy. Inside that would be polyamory and inside that would be polyfidelity. Each of these circles would be blurry or maybe dotted lines instead of hard ones. Each circle would overlap with multiple other relationship configurations and various other types of relationship orientations and… well, maybe a Venn-diagram isn’t the most helpful illustration.

When defining a term that has to do with relationships or personal identities in any manner there is always some level of fluidity and openness to take into account. You may know this already, but I’m starting with the basics.

In the book Opening Up Tristan Taormino defines polyfidelity as “a multipartner group of three or more people who have made a commitment to each other to be in a primary relationship.” This can be different or exactly the same as polyamory simply depending on the identification of those within the group. There are no hard and fast lines here, and the terms really just depend on what the people within the relationship are most comfortable with.

Despite the “fidelity” part of the term, which makes most people think of having closed sexual conduct polyfidelity does not always exclude other relationships outside of the polyfidelitous group. Fidelity essentially means “faithful” and doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with sexual faithfulness (though it can). Taormino describes two types of polyfidelitous groups: closed and open, meaning closed or open to new relationships outside of the primary. Not all members of a polyfidelitous group have to be sexually involved, either.

While I dislike the terms “primary” and “secondary” or so on and I think maybe a better way to describe it is that everyone in a polyfidelitous relationship is committed to everyone else. Even if there isn’t a sexual or romantic relationship between the individuals there is always an emotional one and a commitment to being with the other in some way shape or form.

As I mentioned, this could look identical to polyamory or it could look completely different, it just depends on how the individuals want to identify.

So, why am I writing all this about polyfidelity? I will probably be using it in the future and now I can reference this post whenever I mention it.

I posted a while ago about our transition from mono to poly to triad and Not long after that I brought this difference up to Marla and Onyx and we all agreed that the definition for polyfidelitous fit our relationship.

Generally speaking the term triad is used to describe a polyfidelitous relationship between three people, so we had already kind of figured that out but at the same time I’m a sucker for semantics and finding new terms and labels to describe myself so that I can add them on to the long list of labels I already embrace to make such a long string of labels I eventually essentially become label-less again, though that’s another post.

Another term Taormino mentions in Opening Up is “trilationship” which is fairly self-explanatory I think. I pronounce it similar to tree-lationship so it sounds similar to relationship only different–also because pronouncing it try-lationship is kind of awkward. This is another term I will be using in the future.

Crazy Love

I have all these drafts started and so many things I want to write about but it’s funny how things are more difficult to write about when they are going good. While we three have had our ups and downs as of late I’ve been able to process my thoughts and express them to both Marla and Onyx and I usually use this blog for that so the frustration or confusion that usually fuels my blog posts is gone replaced by just a contented happiness, excitement, and knowledge that everything is going to work.

There are plenty of fears, insecurities, and worries to go around, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time I have confidence that we are making the right decisions, growing together, and growing closer as a triad.

If you don’t follow me on twitter you might not know that Marla is moving here. She is moving to Seattle to be with us and share our physical lives and our apartment as she already shares our daily lives and our love. She will be here early July 5th just past midnight (the night of July 4th). Obviously we’ve been talking about her moving here for a while although it definitely seems very sudden but that’s not really a bad thing. Due to her current living situation it’s just best for all involved if she get up here as quickly as possible, which is an ideal situation for me as well because that means she will be here really damn soon!

It’s amazing and wonderful and in so many ways I just can’t believe that it’s really happening, but it is! I’m sure it will feel surreal until a week or two after she’s here and we all realize that she’s not actually going anywhere.

Stay tuned for steamy sex stories and general trilationship and poly musings once I can get to finishing them, but in the meantime I’m leaving you with a song that has been stuck in my head for a few days. It’s monogamy-centric but I think it fits both of my loves, you just have to change “she” to “they” or something like that.


Song starts at 0:19

I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles
And the heavens open every time she smiles
And when I come to her that’s where I belong
Yet I’m running to her like a rivers song

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

Shes got a fine sense of humor when I’m feeling low down
And when I come to her when the sun goes down
Take away my trouble, take away my grief
Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

Yes I need her in the daytime
Yes I need her in the night
Yes I want to throw my arms around her
Kiss her hug her kiss her hug her tight

And when I’m returning from so far away
She gives me some sweet lovin’ brighten up my day
Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole
Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul

06.22

2009

Pleasurists #34

candles
from dockera.com via art or porn

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #33? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #35? Submit it here before Sunday June 28th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
Note: Monday the 29th is the editor’s birthday, Pleasurists #35 may be delayed next week.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Dream Massager G by Sleeping Dreamer
  • I love this vibrator for it’s power. Yes, these vibrations carry throughout the entirety of my vaginal canal and even vibrate down into my ass. I can feel the vibrator through the mattress, yea, that good. The Dream Massage G is to my vagina what the Hitachi is to my clitoris.

lanjut →

Three (HNT)

three

Pushing a little late on the HNT side for this week, but I wanted to sneak in an image from the weekend Marla was up here not too long ago. There will be stories from that weekend as well, but this is the first hint into it.

The arm on top is Onyx’s, his hand is caressing Marla’s cunt while she lay on her back. Her thigh is in the middle, I was between her legs and taking the picture, the handprint on my thigh is from her hand. She knows just how to hit to make the prettiest marks though they don’t last too long just long enough for my crazy pasty-pink skin to raise in a hand-shaped welt.

This picture was from our first night spent all together, from some of the first sexual moments we shared together. Everything that happened is still to come.

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