I mentioned a couple posts ago that I was thinking about changing my blog name but didn’t yet know to what. You may or may not have noticed the switch yesterday from Femme Fagette to Purveyor of Pleasure. The URL changed as well to ofpleasure.com (I also got purveyorofpleasure.com and it’s pointing to this blog as well, but ofpleasure.com seems much simpler, easier to remember, and cleaner). It is less identity-based and a phrase I’ve been using for a while on my business cards. Of course now I have to get new ones printed. Dammit.

Hopefully, if you’re reading this through RSS, nothing should have changed for you since you should be getting my RSS feed through feedburner. Also, if you came here via a link from another site or are looking at the main page the URL should be different but it should still take you to the right place. This change will mess with my pagerank for a little while, but I think it’ll be worth it.

So, please, if you’re reading this, update your links if you haven’t already. Although it will automatically redirect to the right place it’s still best to have the correct link and title.

Also I put up a new layout on Wanton Lotus, so take a look at that as well.

Somewhere along the way I got sidetracked. I think leaving school was what really did it, I needed a break from the massive amount of reading theory that I had done, quite unsuccessfully near the end. I enjoyed it all but had gotten to a point where I was just inputting far too much for my brain to handle and I was wanting to focus on other things. Things like relationships. And suddenly I had money to worry about. I just got distracted. That’s not to say there isn’t a place for posts that I’ve been doing, but I want to get back to writing interesting theory and I’m worried my intellectual muscles have atrophied.

Now next month will mark the two year anniversary of officially being out of school, and I’ve been doing that life-stock thing. I really used to enjoy writing on this blog, but now it seems like the inspiration doesn’t come as easily as it used to. I have about fifteen thousand books I’m trying to read all at once, and a lot of my current focus is on the metaphysical. I could start writing about that sort of stuff here, but I also have ten thousand other blogs that I write for.

I keep thinking that I’m spreading myself too thin, or dividing my attention too many places, and I’m trying to figure out what to keep doing and what to lose, what I can spend my time on and what I can’t. It’s not an easy process, I want to do everything, but having so many projects and ideas I end up working on them all but not actually producing finished work for anything.

Now, back to what I talked about a while ago regarding life goals for a bit. I have a few things in mind and am working on buffing up my astrology muscles to the point where I can feel comfortable charging people for readings. I may start offering free short email and/or phone consultations to get into the spirit of that as well, we’ll see.

I’ve realized I have just too damn many interests and things I want to do, which is really quite unfortunate in some ways as I never have enough hours in the day to get everything done! I am trying to set goals and deadlines for myself and I’m thinking that doing something like blocking facebook on my computer would be a good idea. Heh.

I’m trying to re-conceptualize what I want to do with this blog. I still want to write about personal things but I’m also trying to expand my scope and I’m wondering if I might need to change something. I want to do something like my Size and Sexuality Study again, and I may start posting some of the finished surveys I still have yet to publish from that if there is any interest. Perhaps I will do something to build on what I already started to do. I keep being seduced with the idea of starting up yet another blog, but am trying to refrain, I’ve actually gotten rid of two in the last few weeks that I wasn’t updating so I could use the space for something else.

I’m thinking of ways to spruce up Wanton Lotus as well and have a list of Products 101 posts that I really want to do and have had in the works forever and a day, like how to choose the right lube for you or some general product safety information, but I haven’t gotten around to writing it. I also want to start posting a review round-up on this blog again like I used to mentioning the reviews that I’ve done on Wanton Lotus for readers of this blog who don’t read that blog.

Mostly I need to just set myself deadlines and stick to them, that’s what I did during the time I was posting once a day way back when, I told myself I had to post something every day and so I did. Now I have so many blogs and projects I need to figure out how to divide my time accordingly.

I’m developing a schedule, though, and trying to get a list of things I want to write about so that I don’t feel so lost for good topics. I’m thinking I might start talking about spiritual aspects of myself on this blog as well. We’ll see.

Anything you would like to see more of? Any questions you have or topics that you want me to write about? Let me know, I’d be happy to.

So, if you would like to read the previous protected post and any/all that may come up in the future simply comment here and I will send the password to you via email. If for some reason you do not want others to know you are reading my protected posts you can also DM me on twitter if I am following you (and if I’m not following you and I should be feel free to comment here telling me your twitter name as well so I can follow you), or send an email to Lotus AT ScarletStSyr.com and I will respond!

Also, on a completely separate geeky note, I purchased http://scarletlot.us/ and am now using it specifically as a domain for short urls (similar to tinyurl or bit.ly) for my own sites. I love it.

Lately I’ve not been writing as much as I had been previously, basically since my relationship with Marla really took off. I regret that and really wish I had been posting more stuff about not just our relationship but also my everyday life and what is going on. Part of the reason I haven’t is I’m not sure what I want to reveal and what I don’t. When Onyx and I used to have issues I would voice them here, but in the last year or so I’ve tended to sugarcoat things more often than not, afraid that something will be taken the wrong way or taken as a constant even if it is a passing annoyance.

This is the trap of publishing something, even online. Once it’s down in text and out there for anyone to see it becomes more difficult to take back just by nature of being out there. Language is powerful, as I have preached before in other circumstances, but I think I’m overthinking things, as per usual. I need an outlet of some kind, and writing is the easiest way for me to do that.

So I’m going to try to write like noone is reading, write for myself rather than anyone else. I’ve been contemplating utilizing the password protection feature of wordpress, or even my livejournal which has sat practically unused since I started this blog, but that doesn’t appeal to me as much as having an open and honest space to spill my inner monologue and just get it out there. I’m just worried that a mind dump will be detrimental rather than helpful because it will do lasting damage that outweighs the satisfaction of getting my feelings out there. Then again, this may not be a bad thing.

Granted, this has never been a complete dumping ground for my random thoughts, I do have structure and I do keep in mind that these words are read, and I have often avoided more personal subjects (relatively speaking, as sex and relationships are definitely personal but a personal of a different kind. However, I have a tendency to hold everything in until I explode and I don’t want to do that. I just need to figure out the best way to do that.

She makes me proud to be a woman of size. Her thoughts and passions have me transfixed.

I can’t explain how happy reading just that little blurb made me, especially the first sentence. I was both touched and flattered by her sentiment.

Her reasoning behind choosing me is definitely worth more to me than the “award” given in the meme. I’m not huge on awards in general, but I think they can be fun and a great way to give kudos to others and generally highlight others and bring more attention to them, which is great. This meme seems to be going around the blog circles I fit in, and it’s always wonderful to be included.

According to luna there are two rules to receiving this:
“You are to list 5 sexy things about yourself and pass it on to 4 other people.”

I’m not going to deny the opportunity to pass on some nice sentiment to others, and it’s always fun to receive something like this from someone unexpected so here we go. I’m having a very difficult time with the five sexy things, I’m really not that into bragging about myself and that’s what this feels like, but, here we go…

Five sexy things

1. Despite the fact that society tells me I shouldn’t be sexy as a woman of considerable girth, I don’t let that stop me from expressing and enjoying my sexuality. This is what made me so elated when part of luna’s reason for choosing me for this was because: “She makes me proud to be a woman of size.” I’ll admit it’s not always easy to be sexually confident in general let alone when society says that you’re not supposed to for various reasons (not just limited to large women, of course), and to know that I make someone, anyone, feel a little better about themselves is incredible.
2. I’m open and honest about who I am for the most part. Despite the amount I spill my soul on here I am somewhat guarded about sharing deep feelings or ideas I have to others I don’t know very well, however, I don’t let that guardedness keep me from being as authentically me as I possibly can: a sexual deviant who is open about and comfortable with what she does, and doesn’t try to pretend to be something or someone else. I think that’s sexy, anyway.
3. While body mods are all the rage these days I really do think that my eight tattoos and thirty-some-odd piercings really do enhance my body, not only by calling attention to some of the sexiest parts of myself but also because the tattoos and piercings themselves are sexy (or so I like to think). I put a lot of thought and detail to every one of them, and think they also show my comfortability with my body which is also sexy.
4. My brain is the sexiest part of me, or so it likes to think (har har). I may overanalyze most times, but I also think that people are more attracted to my intellect than anything else about me (not to say people aren’t attracted to other parts of me too, but I think the brain is the best part of the package).
5. My partners: they are both so sexy that I must be sexy too, right? They inspire me and encourage me to be confident in my sexuality, and they fill my heart with such joy it radiates from me which I think is sexy.

My four sexy bloggers

There are SO many sexy bloggers out there it’s not even right to only choose four, but the ones below are the first ones that popped into my head, and a few of the other ones I’d choose have already been awarded this from others. If I had my way I would give one to everyone in the “friends & lovers” section of my links, and probably others that I’ve forgotten to include there as well. The problem with picking just four is there are so many other people left out, but, I’m sticking to the rules of the meme, otherwise it would take me forever to list everyone!

Gabe and Elizabeth – They blog over on Pornocracy and put an extremely sexy video out recently. I feel that may of our values and ideas are very similar, which endears me to them automatically, and in addition to that they are highly sexy individuals and overwhelmingly sexy as a pair!
Not sure if I should count them as one or two, but since it’s a sexy blogger award vs. sexy blog award I think they count as two.

Amber – of Divergent Dance. Another person I feel I have similar ideas with, she is a tomboy femme among other similarities, and I have come to think of her friendship quite fondly. I think she and her writing are both super sexy and am always excited when she has a new post for me to read to get another slice of her life, gender, love, or sexuality.

Marla – Last but certainly not least there’s no way I could leave my long-distance love out of this, for she is incredibly sexy and blogs over at Confessions of Promiscuity. There is no question that I find her extremely sexy, she fits in with Onyx and I so perfectly and just everything about her makes me want to ravage her and make her come over and over until she begs for me to stop… but I digress. She just posted her first piece of erotica inspired by yours truly, so you can read how amazingly sexy she and her ideas are!

This blog is now officially “Femme Fagette: A sex positive multigendered fat queer poly switch exploring gender, sexuality, and the pitfalls of of an overanalytical nature.” Basically the same as Femmeinist Fucktoy has always been, but now with a better fitting title and more descriptive subtitle.

My basic reasoning behind changing is that Femmeinist Fucktoy just doesn’t resonate with me anymore, it hasn’t for quite a while now, really, but I kept it mostly because I didn’t want to change it. It’s time, though. A large proponent of this was my last post and my recognition or realization of coming further in to this femme fagette identity and understanding it more. Keeping Femmeinist Fucktoy after that just didn’t seem right.

This feels more like home now. I’m a little worried that in not too long Femme Fagette won’t feel right or like me either, but I don’t have a better alternative for my new site name. I want something personal and that touches on what I am trying to express, and I can’t get that without the possibility of change in the future. There’s nothing in me that is not subject to change, but all I can do is embrace what I feel in the present and be open to change as it comes.

FemmeinistFucktoy.com will automatically re-direct here, the feed is still the same, so nothing should really be disturbed too much in this name change. You don’t have to do anything but sit back and continue to enjoy. Oh, and comment once in a while.

If you have me linked on your site please change the link to Femme Fagette, and if you don’t have me linked feel free to add me now.

Made by me.

Taking a tip from Bad Bad Girl I’m actually going to be changing around the way I do toy reviews on this blog.

Not too long ago I acquired WantonLotus.com and cross-posted all my reviews there. In the last few Pleasurists I have been linking to reviews on Wanton Lotus as opposed to here, kind of slowly transitioning my reviews from here to there, in a way. Now I have decided to do more than that.

While I will post on here with reviewed toys once a week it will be a brief summary of the toys I have reviewed, no more than three a week and probably more like two. I will list some of the basic elements of the toy and a link to the toy site but leave it to you to decide if you would like to go over to Wanton Lotus and read the entire review. I know many people will, just as I do this with Bad Bad Girl on her BBG Toys site.

Basically doing this will enable me to post multiple reviews on that site, possibly scheduling them to come out Mon-Wed-Fri or Tues-Wed-Thurs or something like that and not worry about having this site taken over by toy reviews.

Though I have been thinking about doing this for quite a while, as I have had Wanton Lotus for quite some time and that was part of the idea for getting the site, the catalyst for this was my post on Sex Toys and Sex Blogs. Like I said on there:

While I enjoy reading reviews and I do review a lot of toys I have always done it one of two ways. First, I started reviewing one toy a week. Easy, simple, one toy a week, with posts in between. Then, when I started to get more companies I was reviewing for, I moved that to two reviews a week (rarely, but sometimes three), but I had to have at least four posts between them. Why four posts? Well… I don’t really know. But that’s what I set for myself. I thought it was a good number, and I’ve had a lot to write about lately. Sometimes that number didn’t happen, sometimes it was two, sometimes it was six, etc. but, that was the goal. I’ve always made sure to have other content along side my reviews.

But now this method isn’t working for me, mostly because I’ve had writers block lately and have been unable to sit down and write the way I want and need to. I’ve also been busy exploring a new city and looking for a job, so I haven’t been writing as much even when I can write.

I also have more and more products that I want to review. Not just toys that are sent to me, though those are definitely a big part of it, but also books I read and older toys that I have. I have this desire to have a somewhat comprehensive idea of what is in my toybox represented by my reviews. I want to re-write some of my older reviews to be better and more comprehensive.

In addition to toy-specific posts I also want to start writing some Toy Info 101 posts as well, such as Material Safety, How to Choose a Toy, Floggers 101, Harnesses 101, etc. I know there are other sites who have articles like this, but these would be mine. I also want to write non toy-oriented ones for this site, but that’s a whole different topic.

Why do I want to do all this? Because I think reviews are important. I enjoy reading reviews and think that others enjoy reading them too. I think that they’re helpful for people who buy toys to get a good idea of products. Sure, there are lots of toy reviews saturating the sex blogging world right now, but I have a passion for toys, and I’m happy to exploit the opportunity to test out more toys, learn about toys, and share that knowledge with others.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote lately, from PoMoSexuals “Identity Sedition and Pornography” by Pat Califia p. 88 emphasis mine:

Just to set the record straight: I am a female-bodied person who writes about every kind of person I can imagine. Although I briefly contemplated sex reassignment when I was much younger, I decided that would not resolve my gender conflicts. I’m never sure if I have a gender dysphoria or species dysphoria. I often try to explain that I’m really a starfish trapped in a human body and I’m very new to your planet. Or that in fact I am a woman trapped in a man’s body, which really confuses other people but makes sense to me.

It’s fitting where I feel I fit, where I’ve felt for a while. The drag queen masculine femininity that I cling to, the femme fagette in me that is starting to come out even more. I’ve found a better way to express it lately I think, which is making me indescribably joyful, and I’m discovering more about it too, which makes me even more happy.

Onyx and I went into Babeland tonight and looked around. I pointed out toys I wanted, toys that are (hopefully) coming to me soon, and things like that. I had my first encounter with Mr. Bendy while looking at dildos and soft packs and he’s seriously lustable! I kind of (very much) want one, great for packing and playing, which I like.

I’m toying with the idea of packing more often, but as I primarily wear skirts and dresses I would need a soft pack or a cock like Mr. Bendy that will stay bent.

The other thoughts rolling around my brain is that Femmeinist Fucktoy isn’t resonating with me as much as it used to. It went down when I discovered my switchness however long ago, as fucktoy is a very bottom-centric term, and it’s gone down again now that fagette is a larger part of my identity as well.

I also don’t talk as much about feminist-oriented things as I thought I would when I started this blog. Granted, I do believe that talking about gender and sexuality is a feminist act, but that’s not quite the same as being a feminist blog.

My point in bringing this up is that I’m pondering changing the name, and therefore also the URL of the blog. It’s easyish to transition to another URL and name, but what I’m thinking of changing it to is Femme Fagette.

In talking with Onyx about this he mentioned that naming the blog after an identity might not be the best thing to do, as my identities tend to fluctuate rapidly. While I agree with that I feel like this identity will stay around for a while, but I don’t really know that for sure. Thoughts?

November was a big month for me, the largest post-wise so far, and my first time attempting to participate in NaNoWriMo, though I didn’t win but I have a better idea for what I want to do next year, or for when I choose to work out a plot and try to write a novel on my own. It was an eye-opening experience even though I didn’t complete a novel.

Huge things happened here in the US in November, which, unless you’ve been hiding under a rock somewhere, you have no doubt heard about. Barack Obama is our President Elect, and Proposition 8 in California has sparked a great queer rights insurgence. It’s pretty fantastic.

I didn’t realize how many reviews I had actually popped out during November, but I’ve really been trying to make up for having more reviews with at least twice the amount of non-review posts. I started doing at least two reviews per week in November, sometimes more.

feminist

• Speaking of Barack Obama, I urged everyone to vote and expressed my feelings about the election.
• I explored my love of 50s and 60s (mainstream romantic) movies and the importance of recognizing inherent sexism.

sex-positive

• Sex toy-related non-review posts related to buying toys. ‘Tis the season, and all that, don’t you think a loved one deserves a little (or a lot of) pleasure this year? Queercents Economic Stimulus Plan: Buy Sex Toys, and some information about my affiliates and review programs.

fat femme

• I found The Adipositivity Project which is a wonderful photography project encouraging size acceptance.
• I also explored a bit of my own fatphobia in an HNT post.

queer poly

• I couldn’t resist posting the video of Keith Olbermann on Prop 8, along with everyone else. It’s amazing and powerful, and deserves to be spread as far and wide as possible.

kinky switch

• Onyx and my three year anniversary of our collaring came and went, which made me ponder about where our relationship has come from and is going to and what significance our collaring has anymore.

smut

• NaoWriMo Glimpse – Anticipation a glimpse of the novel I began writing for NaNoWriMo, a hot butch/femme noir story.
• Microfantasy Mondays are a new blog occurance and just as they sound like: a mini-fantasy posted every monday in adherence with the theme of the week. Themes: Displayed Backside and Standing.

theory

• Onyx guest posted this month to bring you Semantics: In General all about general semantics, especially regarding labels.
• I had a long post about Kinky vs. Queer vs. Straight Sex, examining the differences thereof and my definitions of each.
• I waxed a little philosophical with The Only Thing Constant which delved into my ideas about personality theory and such.

personal

• As per usual I participated in Half-Nekkid Thursday with Corseted, This Just In, Side View Exposition (as mentioned above as well), and Happy Thanksgiving.
• I mused about my level of socializing, or lack thereof and how this blog factors into that.
• My newest obsession is a jewelry made out of Orgonite which my neighbormates are now making. Check it out.
• I had a confession to make regarding my desire to receive oral sex. Some of you agreed with me, which was delightful.

reviews

• I reviewed a crazy amount of products this month. Bandito (dildo), The Leather Daddy and the Femme (book), Luna Pleasure Bead System by LELO (kegel exercisers), PoMoSexuals (book), Celestial Perfection (dildo), Mia: by LELO (vibrator), Leather Leash (just what it sounds like), Boy Butter (lube), Good Dyke Porn (website), Finger Sleeve with Vibrating Bullet (vibrator), and Strawberry Cheesecake O’My Lube and the G-spot Dream Massager (lube and vibrator). Quite a successful month.

all else

• My newest project, Pleasurists took off with a bang after it’s first round-up at the end of October. I participated and compiled Pleasurists #2, Pleasurists #3, Pleasurists #4, and Pleasurists #5.
• I also participated in two Sugasm‘s this month: #152 and #153

Holy wow, is it really November already? It seems like just yesterday I was astounded that it was October, now it’s been another month. Insanity. November is going to be exciting, most notably the 4th, I think. If you read this via RSS reader and haven’t stopped by my site you probably haven’t noticed the new addition to my sidebar, and Obama Pride image and a little blurb saying I support Barack Obama.

But, back to October, since that’s what this post is really about. In October, Onyx and I switched for the first time, which ended up working well. I posted a little less than I had the last few months, I fell off the posting structure I had set out before, but I have a new one to implement.

Also, I just hit 100 Subscribers! Which is pretty exciting! I wish there was a way for me to be able to tell who was my 100th subscriber, ’cause I totally would love to send them something, but I may just have to have a contest instead… more on that in November!

sex-positive

• I reviewed three toys in the month of October: The Under the Bed Restraints, The Odyssey Tickler, and The Hardcore Harness.

fat femme

• There was a series of Identity Musing posts which delved into my gender identity progression from as far back as I remember. It was a three-part series which led to some personal insights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

queer poly

• After coming home from my trip to Alaska and the Pacific Northwest I had some things to say about identity and how it
• I found the Go PoMo video so, of course, I had to share it with you.
• Onyx and I have been opening him up to his queer side a bit more, so I talked a bit about his queer identity and our queering of him.

kinky switch

• Onyx and I decided to switch to see how we would enjoy it, and decided to make switching a part of our normal routine.
• I also decided to give you a dose of smut with me Dominating Onyx.

all else

• As per usual I participated in Half-Nekkid Thursday with Bare, Home Sweet Heartache, Ballet Shoes and Rainbow Knee Socks, and Happy Halloween.
• I was tagged in a seven facts meme twice! So I gave you 14 Facts about me.
• I premiered my new project: Pleasurists.Com an adult-product review round-up blog with some info and the first Pleasurists.
• I talked about The Butterfly Temptress Cancer Fund and how you can help.
• I also posted PG Porn, about the New Masthead up above there, and my experience going to a Genitorturers concert.

So, this is rather late, but I’m back-dating it to October 1st. I’ve just not been on my game as far as quick and often posting, which is both good and bad in some ways. I have been focusing on other things, such as my new photography website Deviant Decadence, but I have also not been posting as much or even what I have been wanting to.

September was somewhat cut short, due to my trip to Seattle-area and Juneau, in addition, most of the posts were about gender, sex toys, or something other than this site and personal stuff. I had a lot of things going on in September as far as personal issues, Onyx and I had a few hills in our normally somewhat rocky relationship, but we got through them and are stronger for them, I believe.

Gender and sex toy reviews were really the strongest categories this month, and gender is something I’ve been thinking about quite a lot lately, something I’m trying to figure out, to fit into. I have a lot more thinking to do, so expect a lot more posts on gender in the future. I didn’t talk a lot about kinky issues this month, mostly because I wasn’t feeling terribly sexual, and Onyx and I were not relating as usual, but also because I was gone for half of it.

feminist

• I couldn’t not pass on this wonderful story from The Daily Show about the hypocracy in the presidential campaign as far as sexism and other general issues.

sex-positive

• I mused about my reasons for this blog as well as sex writing in general, and my identity progression.
• I had the wonderful opportunity to review three LELO toys, Nea, Iris, and Ella (and I have more on the way–very exciting!)
• I also reviewed the Silicone Crystal Cote from VibeReview and offered a Half-Nekkid Thursday post when I recieved my newest box of toys from them, in addition to information about various discounts on toy sites.

fat

• I discovered a wonderful YouTube channel called Project Lifesize about size-acceptance and life acceptance and I needed to share.

femme/fagette

• I mused quite a bit about labels again this month, talking extensively about my label fetish, what that means, and how it manifests.
• I really went back and explored some of my butch leanings earlier in my life, with two of my HNT’s focusing around older pics (partially because my card reader was broken, so I delved into my archives for them) when I was much more butch than femme: The Butch in Me and Baby Dyke.
• A post of Sinclair’s over at Sugarbutch inspired me to delve into my own semantic usage of bio- and cis-.

queer poly

• A post with info regarding the Queer Psychotherapy Conference in San Francisco, and as a queer with a Psychology degree I was instantly intrigued and desired to go, so I thought I would share.

kinky switch

• Onyx (my Dominus) started to contribute to this blog with his guest posts. First, I posted a poem he wrote for me, then he started posting on his own with an introduction, and then answers to Ellie’s questions on masculinity (musings on masculinity).
• I had some hang-ups for most of the month regarding our relationship, and I wrote about them regarding some of my lack of posting.

all else

• I was named #30 in Rori’s list of Top 100 Sexy Bloggers of 2008.
• I asked for some help regarding what you would like to see on the site
• There was a week where I pumped out quite a few PSA posts regarding: Bitch Magazine, Dacia’s Love Machine, and the NYC 2009 Sex Bloggers Calendar.
• I participated in two of this month’s Sugasm’s: #146, and #148.

I also went back and added a number of posts from August 07-January 08. Posts which were on my livejournal which are relevant to this blog, and posts which inform our current struggles as we have had struggles similar to this before (though also different). I started this blog in March with the post Owner/cuntpet and all the posts previous are re-posted from LJ, but only relationship or identity-relevant ones, really.

Now, the real reason why I’m posting this… I have so many ideas buzzing around in my head lately it’s often hard for me to sort them out enough to write a coherent post on them. I have been thinking about my goals for this blog a lot lately, as well as not only why I am writing but who I am writing for, and that’s basically anyone who will listen. I’ve realized my goals are not just to express myself but to become involved in a community which I desperately desire to be a part of, and I think I’ve succeeded in that at least a little bit.

What I am asking with this post is if you have anything in particular you would like me to write about, write more of, or anything of the sort. I want to hear from those of you who are reading me. I want to know if I am making any points that are interesting, or if I’m just babbling about my life.

So, tell me what you like or don’t like or what you would like to see more of. Even if it’s just one word or a phrase or anything, let me know in the comments, please.

P.S. I’m working on a few stories I hope to post. It’s been a good while since I’ve put some fantasy smut up here.

In August I popped out a few more posts than I had in months previous, and I feel pretty good about that. A lot of the reason for it is because of the new structure which I have on the site, August being the first month where this had been implemented.

I also thought a lot about my goals for the site, which I have yet to post about, but which I have mostly figured out. While it is a personal blog and I talk about a lot of personal things I am also hoping that it’s more than that, it’s informative and educational as far as it’s sharing my perspective and allowing others to see that. I had an epiphany in August as well which included the realization of why I’m blogging, which is not only to inform and educate but to find a community to be a part of, and I’m really starting to find that. I have made some great internet-friends who I hope to become closer to as time goes on.

Now, on to the post round-up going down the subjects of the title and subtitle of the blog, aka my identities and my posting topics:

sex-positive

• I put out quite a few reviews during august, starting with the gorgeous Vicky Venus, then moving to the Miracle Massager which I was quite pleased with, and the Miracle Massager Attachment which I was not very pleased with at all. I was also able to review a lovely glass dildo/plug, and the ever delightful Silver Bullet in which I also mentioned my first experience buying a sex toy which was also a bullet.
• Along the same lines, I also posted about the next shipment of sextoys I’m getting from VibeReview, including a new Lelo toy, a harness and strap-on compatible dildos, and all sorts of other yummy things!
• I also raved about my newfound love of Nea by Lelo, though didn’t review it until the 1st of September.
• Lastly, I talked about my interest and plans to become a phone-sex operator, some of the reasons for it and why I am interested in this type of sex work.

fat

• I talked about my current struggle with my own weight and how weight should be less important than health, but that is not always the case, and how I struggle with being size-positive but also trying to lose weight. The key, I’ve come to, is to look at it in a way that is about being healthy at any size.

femme

• Largely inspired by my new project The Femme’s Guide to Absolutely Everything I have been thinking a lot about my femme identity, and I do mean A LOT, which means I posted about it quite a bit throughout August.
• Three out of four of my Semantics Sunday posts were about something related to either my femme identity or gender as well (and the other one could also be argued to be somewhat about my femme identity). The first SS was on the gender galaxy as opposed to gender binary/continuum, giving you an idea of how I view this gender galaxy we all inhabit. Next, I wrote about my definition of femme, not only how I define it but also how it is deviant and also a little about what it means to me. My latest SS post is on the term Fagette which contains both of my femme and boi identities within it and which I’ve been also thinking about a lot lately.
• In addition to talking about my gender I also posted a genderqueered HNT which I rather adore. All dressed up in my pinstripe suit with red lips and nails, finding my own gender uniqueness through fuckery.
• Lastly, I talked more on femme cock and what it means to me for my dick to be a girl.

queer poly

• I chose to share my love of The Leather Daddy and the Femme (review forthcoming) by posing with it in an HNT.
• I posted a gay zombie spoof movie trailer because I think it’s both hilarious as well as says something interesting about both zombie movies and homophobia.
• And, I re-posted a call for library activism, which I found particularly inspiring.

kinky switch

• At the request of Elizabeth of Pornocracy (who is in the middle of Hurricane Gustav and my thoughts are with both her and Gabe) I explored some of my desires for participating in breath play and what that means to me.

cuntpet

• In August I was lucky enough to attend my second play party so, of course, I had to tell you all about that experience and then show you some of the consequences of being flogged and caned as I was.
• I mused about some semantic issues I was having around my use of the term ‘Master’ and have since been using Dominus when referring to my Owner, mostly because I enjoy it more and he likes it as well. Along the same lines, the Semantic Sunday post which I have yet to mention was about my relation to the term fucktoy, one of the aspects of my cuntpet identity, and explained my own definition of it (of course).
• I about personal experiences both past and present within my relationship with Dominus, including a memory of the day we met and how I ended up moving to Utah (with a cute picture of us kissing included in that one), as well as some of the current fears and issues which have been running through my brain regarding our relationship currently.

Domina

• I didn’t talk a whole lot about my Domina side this month, though things have been percolating, a lot of my attention was on my cuntpet personae due to Dominus’ and my anniversaries which I wrote about. I did, however, write my first Semantics Sunday post on my definition of the term Domina.

All else

• I was fortunate enough to join two group blogs in the month of August, in addition to starting my own (Femme’s Guide). I talked about my involvement with each of them seperately. First, Best Sex Bloggers and then Kinky Sex Link both of which I am honored to be a part of and although I haven’t contributed as much as I would like to I will be contributing more in the future.
• Unlike usual, I only participated in one Sugasm post #143 though mostly because Sugasm was down for a good part of August. I also cross-posted for a friend in need, about Catalina’s raffle which was absolutely amazing.
• Last, I included information about some amusing messages I had received on FetLife from an over-eager Dom. I’m still considering his offer, that goat he owns is a mighty tempting selling point…

In July I posted as many times as I did in June (24), the highest numbers which I’ve had since I started the blog. I started getting a lot more feedback, and had a good number of visitors, so I’m very happy about all that! I really love feedback, even though I’m rotten at giving it to others.

The general timeline of July, as well, included me discovering and embracing my switch side, and therefore also my Domina side, which I delve into in a few posts, and there are many more coming. Master and I were less bumpy than we have been in previous months and have settled into a really nice dynamic, and he is very supportive of my exploration of my Domina side, as long as it doesn’t interfere with our dynamic.

There were so many things that I wanted to post and didn’t get a chance to, but hopefully that will change in the coming months, I’m trying to be more focused as well as productive with this blog and I hope it happens! I also went to my first local play party and began to review toys for VibeReview in addition to my reviews with EdenFantasys which I started in June.

Now that you’ve had a general overview here is the specific post roundup, going down the subjects of the title and subtitle of the blog, aka my identities and my posting topics:

fem(me)inist

• Since I changed the banner and name of this site from feminist to femmeinist I analyzed my meanings behind femmeinist and what femmeinism means to me.
• While working on my own definitions of “femmeinist” and “fucktoy” to put in the masthead, I ran across ideas in Urban Dictionary about what all feminists are like.

sex-positive

• Something which I’m still unsure about: my sexcast and what I should do with it, I wrote a post musing about what the next step might be.
• I was very lucky in the sex toy reviewing aspect of this site this month to be able to review the G-Plus (Hitachi) Massager Attachment for EdenFantasys and also get to start working with VibeReview as well, receiving six wonderful sex toys which I will be reviewing throughout the month of August and into September.
• My very first Half-Nekkid Thursday went up just yesterday, the very last day of July! Me in all scarlet and white with my new scarlet and white Vicky Venus dildo and my very white legs which I titled “scarlet seductions“

fat femme

• A mention and information of the (Queer Fat) FemmeCast, something which I think everyone should listen to, regardless of size, orientation, or gender.
• My analysis and musings about my move from my previous butch cock to my new search for a gorgeous femme cock complete with lots of links to deliciously sexy dildos.

queer poly

• Some delving into my personal feelings and visibility issues regarding my identity as queer and being with a male partner while being femme-identified and still embracing the queer label.
• A fucking fantastic pansexual genderqueer video titled Fagette by Athens Boys Choir. (Just posted yesterday)

cuntpet and Domina

• I wrote about my favorite BDSM/kink site in my Ode to FetLife (where I am an official greeter, so if you sign up you might be greeted by me) and also posted the information about a call for submissions for Bound to Struggle Vol. 3.
• Near the beginning of the month I realized and started exploring my identity as a switch, which is something I had never embraced previously, and then near the end of the month went on to discuss the discoveries I had regarding my newly found Domina personae.
• In between those two posts I wrote about the first play party which Master and I attended together, and my reluctance and desire to become part of the local BDSM community
• I ended the month BDSM-wise with a naughty little retelling of the night before, when Master and I played a bit with the cunt/brat aspect of my cuntpet personae, where I tried to tease him, but instead of teasing him he “forced” me to give him a blowjob.

all else

• I participated in three Sugasms, a weekly sex blog round-up: #139, #141, and #142 and I mentioned a Top Sexy Bloggers contest going on over at Between My Sheets (the final list of which should come out in the next few days).
• I speculated about and analyzed labels and their uses which was responded to by Ellie here on her blog
• I also mused about the Half-Nekkid Thursday trend among sex bloggers, and if it would be too sexy to participate in it, as well as the difference between a sexy blog and a sex blog.
• Lastly (and most lately) I spelled out a new posting structure which includes adorably alliterated aliases for days of the week.