taiWelcome! I’m Tai Fenix Kulystin (previously known as Scarlet Lotus), I am a queer fat genderqueer polyamorous switch and my pronouns are they/them. This blog is my personal exploration of gender, sexuality, spirituality, kink, and the joys and pitfalls of an overanalytical nature.

Outside of this blog I am currently finishing up a Master's degree to help me launch into my career as a Gender & Intimacy Coach and Somatic Sexuality Educator. I am passionate about working with people of all bodies, genders, sexualities, and relationship styles to help them move toward experiencing the (sex) life of their dreams.


Archive for the ‘Sex Toy Love’


02.21

2011

Jack Off

It wasn’t sexy or elaborate. Really it was downright mechanistic1. It had been a while since I had rubbed one out alone and the fast-paced lives Onyx and I have been living lately haven’t lent themselves to as much sex as either of us would like. It was time to remedy this situation.

I didn’t even move the pile of freshly washed clothes from on top of the bed, just nudged them aside so I could lay down2. I grabbed my Eroscillator, pushed aside my underwear, added a little lube, and arranged it to just the right spot. It had actually been a while since I’d gotten off with it, my Wahl has had preferential treatment as of late with its amazingly deep and strong rumbly vibrations. I had almost forgotten how much I love my Eroscillator, but tonight I was reminded.

While the Eroscillator has nothing on the Wahl as far as the bang you get for your buck3 I forgot just how deep and different the oscillations are from normal vibrators. It still produces a different kind of orgasm than any other toy, one I can’t put into words even though I’ve been trying to finish this sentence for ten minutes.

Though I had contemplated my Eleven or Pure Wand, my go-to dildos, I decided to forgo the internal stimulation. It wasn’t needed when the goal was release but not effort or sexy intricate fantasy. It still wasn’t many orgasms until I felt the need to squirt all over the bed.

Yes, many orgasms. When I come I can’t just stop at one, I’ve never really been able to. Onyx has tried to stop me after one and discovered just how irritating I can be when not fully sated. Although I suppose that implies that I am ever fully satiated and I’m not sure that can be said. There are times when I am exhausted, finished, and needing a break, but sated? Those are usually the same times that my clit burns4 as if to say “I NEED MORE.” There is often a point where I am unable to deliver or even come anymore but I wouldn’t call this sated.

I contemplated squirting for only a few seconds before dismissing it. I didn’t have my Throe under me and I wasn’t about to ejaculate all over the clothes I had just washed. Plus, this was mechanistic so the effort to get it and position it just right before coming again so I could ejaculate just seemed like too much work. Although even now as I write this I can feel that delightful pressure inside of me telling me to release it, a sensation I used to compare to needing to pee but now I know the difference.

So I came and held myself back from squirting, which in and of itself made the experience slightly less satisfying. How many times I came I don’t know. I always used to lose count after three so now I don’t even attempt anymore. There’s probably an app for that5. I stopped, even though my clit was screaming at me to keep going, and stumbled out of the bedroom in a post-orgasmic daze.

  1. a fabulous old post from Ellie Lumpesse, read it if you have not before! []
  2. I have more in the washer and dryer, I will put them all up at the same time. What? Don’t judge me. []
  3. $12.49 on Amazon! Seriously! Go get one now! I thought this was such a good deal I even bought one for my best friend for no reason other than it is wicked cheap and she needs one. []
  4. not from the chemicals in the lube, just from wonderful overstimulation! []
  5. Orgasm Counter for the iPhone?–or not, since Apple is all anti-sex apps, but it sounded good anyway []
Labels: , , , , , , , ,

01.25

2011

Day of Awesome

You may or may not know that my sleep schedule is pretty much the opposite of what is considered “usual.” Onyx works nights now Sunday through Wednesday1 and doesn’t get home until any time between 6:30am and 9am depending on if he stays late for meetings or whatnot. Usually he gets home around seven. This means that I am usually up until around seven or eight. Even on his days off, unless we have a reason not to, we’re usually up until at least six.

I mention this because today we awoke around 1pm to the sound of our apartment buzzer and now that you know our wacky sleep schedule you’ll understand why waking at 1pm was early for us. I do not jive on five hours of sleep. Usually our buzzer going off in the middle of the day means only one thing: a package has arrived for us. I immediately thought I knew what it was. Or at least I hoped. I used to get new items to review far more frequently than I do now because I’m working on clearing out my backlog of items, but the only thing that I was still waiting to come to me was a Liberator Heart Wedge.

You may or may not remember the Heart Wedge from the contest I held last month2 but I’ve been lusting after it since it first came out and now I have one of my very own! I’ll be reviewing it soon on Wanton Lotus.

Liberator Heart Wedge
Doesn’t it look great with the throw pillows on our couch?

As I was waiting for Onyx to return with the box my phone buzzed. In my still half-asleep state I looked at a text for a direct message on twitter. It was from KinkAcademy asking if I had received the email about me being accepted as a student blogger3 as they were waiting to know if I accepted before announcing the new semester of students. I quickly responded an enthusiastic affirmative and bounced up and down with glee.

In case you didn’t read my application post for the KA student blogger position I will reiterate the awesomeness of Kink Academy and what I’ll be doing for them. KA provides instructional videos on all sorts of kinky topics from basic to advanced. As a student blogger I get three months to poke around the KA videos and will be writing at least one post a week from February 1st to May 1st about my reaction to a video or series of videos and my experiences implementing the techniques I learned. Awesome, no? So keep a look out for those frequent posts! You can also learn more about Kink Academy on KinkAcademyInfo.com and watch some of their free videos.

After opening the box to find the wonderful present4 inside and regaling Onyx with the exciting news and my over-the-top excitement we attempted to go back to sleep and successfully woke up a few hours later much better rested.

I was still excited when I woke up and I can say that with the day starting on such an awesome note it has yet to go down. I have not had the Heart Wedge out of my immediate vicinity yet today, as is my tendency with new items I get, and I’ve already begun watching videos on Kink Academy while working on Pleasurists so I can begin to figure out which topics I’ll want to write about and explore offline with Onyx. I’m positively bursting with excitement.

  1. The most awesome schedule ever. He chose it himself. []
  2. I probably should have posted about it on here []
  3. Yay! Yay! A thousand times yay! []
  4. Not really a present as I have to earn it, but you know what I mean []
Labels: , , , , , , ,

11.03

2010

How Sex Toys Changed My Life

This is part of the Sex Toy Day Blog Carnival. For more information see the bottom of this post.

It’s no secret that I love sex toys. I love them so much I have both a sex toy review blog and I started and run Pleasurists, a sex toy (and other adult product) review round-up.

I remember the first time I bought a sex toy. It was at Babeland’s Seattle store with my older sister. I was fourteen at the time, but I always looked old for my age. I picked out a plastic glow-in-the-dark bullet. I still have it, actually. I remember absolutely loving it. I had used various items as “sex toys” previous to this including fruits and vegetables (usually with a condom) and my own hands, of course, but having a sex toy was empowering and made me feel grown up and sexually alive, in control of my own body.

From that point on I bought a lot of sex toys. I bought my first strap on (the Terra Firma Harness) and dildo (Vixen Creations Leo in black) at sixteen online. I regularly shopped at Babeland online and whenever I had excess money I would get a little something for myself. I bought vibrators and dildos as well as various kink items like handcuffs and blindfolds. I mostly used all these on myself or for partners over the phone. I remember my sister giving me a Babeland gift card for christmas when I was eighteen or nineteen.

I have always loved sex toys. In June of 2008 when I discovered a sex toy review program I jumped at the chance to enter it. I reviewed a few products I owned and then got accepted as a reviewer, which lead me to another company and another. I had already been writing this blog since late 2007. That’s when sex toys changed my life again.

From reviewing on my own site and setting up Pleasurists I have met so many amazing and wonderful people. I have met people through this blog as well, which I’m not discounting, but the variety of people I have interacted with through Pleasurists alone is amazing. I feel like part of an online community.

At first sex toys empowered me, enabled me to embrace and take control of my own sexuality. Now sex toys are such a part of my daily life and I love them even more. I can’t imagine my life without sex toys, or at very least I don’t want to.

From What Is Sex Toy Day?

To celebrate, we’re giving away 1000 vibrators to the first 1000 people who enter their info at SexToyDay.com at 11AM EST/8AM PST on November 4th, 2010. Sex Toy Day gives you an opportunity to experience the joy of sex toys completely risk free. There is no cost for the toy or for shipping. It will be shipped with complete discretion in a plain white padded envelope from Sawhorse Enterprises.

They’re also encouraging everyone (especially sex/sex toy bloggers) to participate in a blog carnival related to sex toys or become a sponsor.

This whole idea brought to you by MyPleasure.

Labels: , , , ,

10.03

2010

30 Days of Kink: Toys

This is the seventh of my 30 Days of Kink in which I will be answering each of the thirty questions in different posts. I thought these would be interesting to answer and (hopefully) interesting for you to read. These will be posted in order, but not always back-to-back.

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

That’s a bit of a loaded question for a sex toy reviewer! Aside from mentoning that my Eroscillator is my absolute favorite clitoral stimulator (though I have other favorite toys in other categories) I’ll stick to kinky toys, otherwise it might just be a list of many toys of various different types, and that wouldn’t fit in as well to this 30 Days of Kink.

I really love multi-tasker toys and using household products for impact play or pinching, or something else. Normal everyday objects that can be re-purposed in devious kinky ways.

I also have a soft spot for canes. I would say that canes are my favorite impact play toy, though floggers come in a close second. I also love paddles and crops, but canes reign supreme. I suppose that shouldn’t be too surprising considering I started Cane A Slut Day. I haven’t really tried a metal one yet, but they look wicked and I would love to, but I have tried rattan, bamboo, and acrylic.

I adore gags, also, specifically open mouth gags. I mentioned this in Q2 – list your kinks because gags really do turn me on. There’s just something about being unable to speak but having the mouth open for use in any way I/my Top sees fit. I love it. Currently my whitehead gag and mini gag (Insex-style spider gag) are my favorites.

I’ve always had a fondness for clothes pins and nipple clamps, anything pinchy, and recently rediscovered that fondness after watching a scene in Rough Sex 2 that included clothes pins and Onyx deciding he needed to try that technique out. Using a cane to hit clothes pins off was an experience my inner masochist loved.

Labels: , , ,

06.11

2009

Reviews: Fun Factory Week!

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

This past week was Fun Factory Week on Wanton Lotus! Five Fun Factory reviews in five days!

Boss (Lady) Review Teaser

Name: Boss (Lady)

Type: Vibrator

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Material: Silicone in a velvety-matte finish

Length: 8 3/4″ (total), 6 3/4″ (insertable)

Width: 1 3/5″

Girth: 5 1/2″

Charge: Four AAA Batteries

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of the Boss (Lady) Review!


Freestyle Cuffies Review Teaser

Name: Cuffies – Freestyle

Type: Wrist Cuffs

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Materials: Rubber (cuffs), ribbon, and aluminum (chain).

Length: 7 3/4″ cuffs, 23″ with chain
Width: 1 1/4 to 1 1/2″

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Read and watch the entirety of the Cuffies Freestyle Review!


Smartballs Review Teaser

Name: Smartballs

Type: Vaginal Balls/Kegel Exercisers

Material: Elastomed – more on this material in the review.

Length: 4 1/2″

Width: 1 3/8″

Girth: 4 1/2″

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of the Smartballs Review!


Bloomy Review Teaser

Name: Bloomy

Type: Anal Toy & Dildo

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Length: 5 1/2″ (total) 4″ (insertable)
Width: 1 1/2″
Girth: 4 1/4″

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of the Bloomy Review!


Angelo Review Teaser

Name: Angelo

Type: Vibrator

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Material: Silicone

Length: 5 1/2″ (total) – 4 1/4″ (insertable)
Width: 1 1/2″
Girth: 4 3/4″

Charge: Two AAA Batteries

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Read the entirety of the Angelo Review!

Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

06.02

2009

Reviews: Yes, Bare, Leather!

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

Yes! Pure Intimacy Lube Review Teaser

Manufacturer: Yes Pure Intimacy

Type: Water-based and Oil-Based

Glycerin-free: Yes
Paraben-free: Yes

Organic: Yes
Vegan: Yes

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must-Have

Read the entirety of the Yes! Pure Intimacy Lube Review!


Bare As You Dare Harness Teaser Review

Name: Bare As You Dare Harness

Type: Strap-on Harness

Manufacturer: Sportsheets

Material: Nylon and steel (o-rings)

Fit: Up to 54 inch hips (approximately).

Style: One-strap or G-string

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must-Have

Read the entirety of the Bare As You Dare Harness Review!


Rabbit Fur and Leather Flogger Teaser Review

Name: Mini rabbit fur and leather whip

Type: Flogger

Manufacturer: Unknown?

Material: Rabbit fur and leather

Length: 9 inches (falls) 14 inches (total)

Sensation: Stingy – 1 (out of 3)

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Click to read the entirety of the Rabbit Fur and Leather Flogger Review!

Labels: , , , , , , ,

05.24

2009

Reviews: Big, Cheetah, Rude, Lube!

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the past couple weeks!

For Your Nymphomation Big Foot Storage Case Review Teaser

Name: Big Foot

Type: Toy Storage

Manufacturer: For Your Nymphomation

Material: Black Faux Leather

Dimensions: 12″ wide x 5″ high x 5″ deep

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must-Have

Read the entirety of the FYN Big Foot Case Review!


Sportsheets Cheetah Fur Lined Paddle Review Teaser

Name: Fur Lined Paddle

Manufacturer: Sportsheets

Material: Leather and faux-fur

Length: 14 inches
Width: 3 inches

Fur-Side Sensation: Thuddy – 1 (out of 3)
Leather-Side Sensation: Stingy – 2 (out of 3)

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Watch the entirety of the Cheetah Fur Lined Paddle Review!


Rude Boy Prostate Massager Review Teaser

Name: Rude Boy

Type: Anal Toy & Prostate Massager

Manufacturer: Rocks Off Limited

Material: Silicone

Charge: Watch Batteries (in a detachable bullet, included)

Length: 6 inches (insertable)
Width: 1 inch (diameter)
Girth: 3 1/2 inches (around)

Waterproof: Yes

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must-Have

Read the entirety of the Rude Boy Review!


Pomegranate Vanilla BabeLicious Lube Teaser Review

Name: BabeLicious Lube

Manufacturer: Babeland

Type: Water-based Lubricant

Glycerin-free: Yes
Paraben-free: Yes

Organic: No

Flavored: Yes

Ingredients: Deionized water, sorbitol, cellulose gum, potassium sorbate, polyquaternium-7, phenoxyethanol, citric acid, and flavor.

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the rest of the Pomegranate Vanilla BabeLicious Lube Review!

Labels: , , , , , , ,

05.06

2009

Reviews: Soft, Crop, Hard, Clean

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

softpack

Mini and Medium Soft Pack Review Teaser

Name: Soft Pack (also known as Mr. Limpy)

Manufacturer: Fleshlight

Material: SuperSkin (phthalate-free, latex-free) – said cyberskin in the video which isn’t accurate!

Length of the underside (balls to tip): 3-1/2″ (mini) 5 3/4″ (medium)
Length of the topside (base to tip): 4″ (mini) 8 1/2″ (medium) – when hanging with gravity
Girth: 4″ (mini) 4 1/2″ (medium)

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Watch and read the rest of my Soft Pack review here!


rosecrop

Single Rose Crop Review Teaser

Name: Single Rose Crop

Manufacturer: Ruff Doggie

Material: Leather

Length: 24 inches
Width: 1 1/4 inch rose

Sensation: Stingy – 2 (out of 3)

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Watch and read the rest of my Rose Crop Review here!


hardwood

Hardwood Dildo Teaser Review

Name: #467 Apple

Manufacturer: Hardwood Dildos

Material: Recycled Apple Wood

Varnish: “Each dildo is finished with at least five coats of Salad Bowl Finish, a food-quality varnish. The finish seals the wood, making them safe, waterproof, and natural-feeling. I never use any dyes or stains, and I’ve never heard of any allergic reactions.” – from the FAQ.

Length: 6 1/4 inches
Width: 1 3/5 inches

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended!

Watch the video review for the Hardwood Dildo here!


anti-bacterial toy cleaner

Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner Review Teaser

Name: Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner

Manufacturer: California Exotic Novelties

Paraben-free: Yes
Organic: No

Ingredients: Deionized Water, Sodium C 14-16 Olefin Sulfonate, Disodium Lauroamphodiacetate (and) Sodium Trideceth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Propylene Glycol, Triclosan, Citric Acid, Methylchloroisothiazolinone (and) Methylisothiazolinone, Tetrasodium EDTA

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the rest of my Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner Review here!

Labels: , , , , , , ,

04.26

2009

Reviews: Bar, X, Beyond, Heart

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

kinklabspreader

Kinklab Adjustable Spreader Bar Review Teaser

Name: Adjustable Spreader Bar

Manufacturer: Kinklab

Material: Steel

Length: Eight options between 25 and 37 inches (adjustable)

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read and watch the rest of my Kinklab Adjustable Spreader Bar review here!


xerotic2

X: The Erotic Treasury Review Teaser

Title: X: The Erotic Treasury

Editor: Susie Bright

Publisher: Chronicle Books

Published: September 1, 2008 (Hardcover First Edition)

Page Count: 367

Story Count: 40

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the rest of my review of X: The Erotic Treasury here!


ophoriabeyond3

Ophoria Beyond No. 3 Review Teaser

Name: Beyond No. 3

Manufacturer: Ophoria

Material: 100% Medical-grade Premium Japanese Silicone

Length: 9 inches
Width: 1 3/4 inches (at thickest point), 1 1/4 inches (shaft)
Girth: 5 1/2 inches (at thickest point), 4 1/2 inches (shaft)

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must Have

Read and watch the rest of my Ophoria Beyond No. 3 review here!


heartcrop

Sportsheets Heart Impressions Crop Review Teaser

Name: Heart Impressions Crop
crop
Manufacturer: Sportsheets

Material: Leather and (possibly) nylon for the red color between the crop loop

Length: 16.5 inches (without leather loop handle) 24.5 inches (including leather handle)
Width: 2 inches (striking tip) 1.5 inch (heart)

Sensation: Stingy – 1 (out of 3)

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Read the rest of my Sportsheets Heart Impressions Crop here!

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

04.19

2009

Reviews: Secret, Fun, Lube

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

agentsecret

Agent Secret Game Profile

Name: Agent Secret Game

Manufacturer: Bijoux Indiscrets

Contents: Black round hat tin containing two black polyester bags: one bag for “Agent 001,” one bag for “Agent 002.” In the bag for Agent 001: a card to write down your “secret desire” on, the pencil to write with, and a padlock to lock the card. In the bag for Agent 002: black bondage ribbons, a red and black feather tickler, a vibrating cock ring, and a satin mask.

Rating: 2 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Okay & Not Recommended

Read the entirety of my review here!


Product Line: Wet Naturals

Manufacturer: Wet

Glycerin-free: Yes
Paraben-free: Yes
Organic: No

Overall Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Name: Beautifully Bare
Type Water-based

Name: Sensual Strawberry
Type Flavored water-based

Name: Silky Supreme
Type Silicone-based

Read about all three of these Wet Naturals lubes here!


njoyfunwand

Double-ended Dildo Profile

Name: Fun Wand

Manufacturer: Njoy

Material: Stainless Steel

Length: 8 inches end-to-end
Thickness: 1 inch single bulb. 3/4 inch to 1 inch beads
Girth: 3 1/4 inch single bulb, 2 1/4 inch to 3 inch beads

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must Have

Watch the video review and read the rest of my review of the Njoy Fun Wand here!

Labels: , , , , , ,