I’m so very excited! All the stars have aligned to send me to my very first sex-oriented conference Sex 2.0 which is all about “the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality.” I had enough mileage for a plane ticket to New York City where I will be staying with one of my sisters (both of whom live there).

Now I’m sure you’re going “wait, the image above says it’s in D.C. not NYC, what’s going on here?” or you’re not, but I’m going to address that question anyway: it was just way easier to get a flight to NYC than one to D.C. plus it means my trip can be longer than just a couple days so that I can hang out in NYC!

I’m flying over on the red-eye May 5th and arrive in NYC Wednesday May 6th around 7am. Then I have time in NYC until Friday at 10:30 when I’m bussing over with the amazing Mollena, the fabulous Essin’ Em and whoever else makes it onto the Friday NYC to D.C. sexbus! It’s going to be a blast!

Then, the conference, I’ll be staying in a hotel room with Domina Doll who I absolutely love and am very excited to be meeting for the first time! I’m meeting pretty much everyone going for the first time since this is my first conference, so I’m super excited. There will be lots of fun to be had on the 9th (Saturday) but also the night before, Saturday night, and Sunday morning. I’ll be tweeting while at the conference, no doubt, and posting about it once I return as well (or maybe on the bus back as it does have wifi), so look forward to that!

Once the conference stuff slows down I’ll be heading back to NYC on Sunday night to stay with my sister again, then I hope to make my way up to see my lovey Kat (also Kat of Kat and glen who Onyx and I went to England with last May) and Carnivalesq who live not too far away from each other. I’m not sure how or exactly when I’m going to do this yet, but I want to. I fly back home to Seattle on Wednesday.

It’ll be the first time that Onyx and I have really been apart since well before we moved, so it will be interesting in that respect as well. I’m going to have a lot to do so I’ll probably be able to stay busy enough to not think about it too much, but I’m sure we’ll miss each other terribly.

Who else is coming at to Sex 2.0? Any of you in NYC and want to meet up for coffee/drinks/whatnot while I’m there?

More About Sex 2.0

From the website:
Sex 2.0 will focus on the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality. How is social media enabling people to learn, grow, and connect sexually? How is sexual expression tied to social activism? Does the concept of transparency online offer new opportunities or present new roadblocks — or both? These questions, and many more, will be addressed within a safe, welcoming, sex-positive space.

You can still get a ticket at the discounted rate of $30 until April 16th, then it goes up to $40. They also may have some scholarships available for those poor folks like me.

For more information:
Sex 2.0 website
Google Group

The Sex 2.0 Google Group is where all the discussion and organizing of the event (and the events before and after) is happening.

For a great compilation of links regarding last year’s Sex 2.0 check out this post on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

I’m a little too excited about birth control at the moment.

Let me explain.

I’ve been using the Nuva Ring for almost two years now. I’ve tried various methods of birth control over the years since I first got on it including the depo shot which made me even crazier than I already was (depression, mood swings, etc.), a couple different pills, the patch just for a month until I realized I didn’t like it and was worried because I was too fat for it (if you’re over a certain weight the likelihood of getting pregnant on the patch increases), and finally the nuva ring.

I rather love the nuva ring. It’s easy an extremely easy to use and extremely effective type of birth control. Onyx and I are fluid-bonded, so we don’t use condoms or other barriers when we fuck. We went through the let’s get tested and make sure we don’t have to use condoms thing at the very beginning of our relationship and neither of us has had sex outside of the relationship since we got together. Especially since we don’t use condoms birth control is extremely important to both of us. We don’t want no babies.

Right after we moved here I had a lapse in my ring usage. I hadn’t gotten a new ring, I hadn’t gone to get a new prescription here, and we didn’t have the money for me to go get one anyway. This was no good. We had a lull in our sex life while waiting for me to get up on it again. We used condoms during that time the few times we couldn’t stand it and decided to have penetrative sex and we did oral, mutual masturbation, and various other non-penis-in-vagina-or-anus sex (since anal sex can get you pregnant I didn’t want to risk that).

Once we had money again I got back on the ring, we waited the week requisite post-insertion, and started going at it like bunnies yet again sans-protection. Last week came the time I had to remove my ring and today I needed to insert a new one.

Problem is, we’re out of money again and the clinic I went to last time charges quite a bit for a new nuva ring, three times what I was paying in Salt Lake City! I decided that I would go to the Planned Parenthood here instead, which I should have really just done in the first place, and try to get my information from SLC transferred to the PP here hoping that it would be cheaper.

As it turns out, and why I’m telling you all of this, I’m eligible for free contraception with Planned Parenthood! I should have remembered I’m back in a place that values reproductive health rather than avoiding the subject all together, but it’s difficult after living for two plus years in a place so backwards as Utah.

I went in on Tuesday, had a consultation today for contraceptives, specifically the nuva ring and also IUCs (IntraUterine Contraceptives–also known as IntraUterine Devices). I’ve been thinking about getting an IUC for quite some time, and have researched them and talked with another clinician about it not too long ago, but at the time it was way too expensive. I actually got kudos for having done my homework on IUCs from one of the women I talked to today, which made me happy.

Luckily, the free contraception extends to IUCs as well! I actually made an appointment for tomorrow to get Mirena implanted! Mirena is one of the two types of IUCs which has progesterone in her, but no more than the nuva ring, and lasts for five years. I’m thrilled at the idea of not having to think about birth control for five years!

Of course, with any new partners I will still insist on condoms and barriers to prevent against STIs, but since I don’t plan on having children in the next five years (if ever) Mirena seems like the perfect option!

I’m really probably more excited than I should be at the concept of getting this Mirena put in. But the idea of not really having to worry about the possibility of getting pregnant is just absolutely wonderful to me. While the ring isn’t really that difficult to remember to put in or take out on time for the most part having it go from a once-a-month issue to a once-every-five-years issue is pretty awesome.

Mirena also has the possibility of not just regulating my periods like most birth control methods but also of stopping them all together. So, no worrying about pregnancy for five years and (possibly) no periods? Maybe you see why I’m rather excited about this.

So, tomorrow I should be able to get it inserted. It’s a simple (but somewhat painful) procedure of slipping the device through the cervix into the uterus. It shouldn’t take too long, or so I’m told. The only downside is that I’m not supposed to have vaginal sex for a week or so after getting it inserted, though there’s other things we can do to pass the time.

I’ll definitely give some post-insertion information and experiences in the next week or so as well.

This year I’m planning on doing a 365 self-portraits challenge. I set up a sub-domain on Deviant Decadence for it, and will be posting self-portraits of me on there every day from 1 January 2009 to 31 December 2009. That’s the goal anyway.

I’m already running a little behind, but I’m sneaky and am okay with posting two pictures today for the past two days and just pretending like they were there the whole time. That’s cheating a little, I know, but I don’t really care.

This also means I’ll probably be participating every week in HNT’s since I’ll be taking pictures of me anyway.

Why am I wanting to do this?

Well, partially because I want to get in the mode of taking photos every day. Also, I was looking for photos of myself over the last couple years, and aside from my HNT pics and face shots I took for this site specifically or when my hair changed I really didn’t have that many photos of myself.

I don’t usually like pictures of myself, so this is a way for me to get out of that (maybe) and start looking at myself. It’s a way for me to get more comfortable with images of my face and my body, though I love it sometimes I still have a difficult time much of the time with loving and accepting my body, and viewing it every day may help with that.

I also really want to get better at photography in general, and I think that over the year of taking photos of myself I’ll be able to work with and understand both my camera and photography in general better. I’ll get used to viewing the world through the lens and learn what’s right for me. I now have a tripod and a remote for my camera as well (got both for xmas) and so I should be able to do some awesome things. Once we move I’m hoping to get some lighting as well.

If you want to take a look and follow the 365 days of me go to 365 Scarlet Portraits

Like many families, my family doesn’t celebrate Christmas from a Christian standpoint, mostly from a cultural standpoint. None of us are really Christian, per se. Christmas music is huge in our house, however, mostly because of my mother, the rest of us like it for the most part (possibly because it’s one of those family things since mom plays it all the time around Christmas time) but we don’t do as much listening as she does.

Since Christmas music is so big in my family I thought I would share with you my favorite Christmas song. It’s not terribly well-known (read: not overplayed). I usually listen to The Carpenters version of it, but I found the Frank Sinatra version of it on YouTube and thought I’d share that.

It is The Christmas Waltz.

Happy Christmas to all you who celebrate it, religiously or culturally. Happy Hanukkah, Happy Solstice (a few days ago), Happy Holidays to all, and may New Years bring you all the happiness and gifts that you desire.

Since it’s getting to be that time of year (it’s December already?! How did that happen?) I thought I would share a few naughty things on my xxxmas wishlist. I’m not expecting to get all of these this holiday season, probably only one if any, but a femme can dream, can’t she?

Advanced Play Piercing Kit from Play Piercing Kits.Com which includes pretty much anything you could want for play piercing, as well as a case to carry it all in. I’ve been drooling over this since I found it, and I want to make it mine!

The Midori Value Kit in crimson and The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori from Twisted Monk, to better try out the ties from Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes as well as Midori’s own book.

The Deluxe Toy Bag from Protocol Leather which includes: 2 paired Two Tone Suede Floggers, 1 Protocol Flogger, 1 set of Ankle Cuffs, 1 set of Wrist Cuffs, 1 Collar, 1 Dragon’s Tongue, 1 Snake’s Tongue, 1 Protocol Agony Cane, 1 Stinger, 1 Protocol Strap, and 1 Lexan Cane. I just know that Onyx and I would have lots of fun with all these delicious implements.

I also desperately desire a Violet Wand Kit, though they are way out of our current price range (though so is the protocol leather kit, but I can still want them! I have seen electrical play done, but not yet experienced it for myself, but I want to rather badly, and I know Onyx feels similarly.

There are, of course, non-sex fetishes that I also love to partake in, namely my shoe and boot fetishes. I figured I should add a few of those in as well.

Corset Magic Boots from Pennangalan. I have wanted these boots for just about this side of forever (or about three years) and just have never been able to afford them, since they are expensive as it is and also from the UK. They are gorgeous, though.

I was going to include a pair of cute Fluevog shoes, but the site doesn’t want to load. May edit in later!

[EDIT]

There are so many Fluevog shoes I’ve been drooling over, and boots too, including these boots and these boots, but I already showed you a picture of boots I want, so I’ll show you some Fluevog shoes. Since I’m chronically unable to make up my mind or choose just one when it comes to things I like, I’ll show you three! Though I can’t decide if I want the first ones in black or red… maybe both!

[/EDIT]

So, that’s my expensive naughty wants this holiday season. What do you want?

It seems to me that a lot of podcasts that started back in 2006 that I loved have mostly all fizzled out (like mine). Those that stuck with it are now, well, rather internet-famous, such as The RopeCast and Poly Weekly. Those that didn’t… well, we’ve faded to oblivion for the most part, though there are a few that are trying to make a comeback, such as Ellie Lumpesse’s Bedroom Radio and my own, Sacred and Shameless Sexcast (though she’s doing a bit better with hers than I am with mine).

Basically after a very long break I started up again a few months ago, but that has fizzled out as well. My last cast Anal, P.S. It’s Fabulous was about two months ago, and although I’ve thought about doing more casts they just haven’t happened.

So, the question I’ve been asking myself lately is what do I do about it?

One thing is that I’m going to lose the story part of the cast. I originally was trying to have three sections to the sexcast: an information section on whatever the topic was, a sex toy review on something that correlated with the information given, and an erotic story which may or may not correlate with the other two. Now, this worked out okay for the first few casts, when I was excited about it and had the time to make them frequently. However, lately this has been trouble. I find myself dissatisfied with all the erotica I write, and mostly because I’m not very confident in myself as a writer. So, I’m going to bag that part whatever I do.

The other options I’ve been toying with are to just retire the cast entirely and start something completely new, maybe a femmeinist fucktoy cast or something, or just revamp the cast entirely while keeping the original episodes attached to it, but not as much a part of it. I’m not sure what I’m going to do at this point. On the one hand, when I was making casts I really loved them, they’re as much for me as for anyone else, and they are really fun to do. On the other hand, I don’t seem to have the time to do them anymore, but I potentially could if I was to specifically put aside one night a week to do it, using the rest of the nights to work up my topic and all that.

I’m just not sure. If I keep it The Sacred and Shameless Sexcast as I originally dubbed it my next cast will need to be on sacred sexuality. I’m not against that, I just don’t feel like an authority on it yet. But, then, I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel like an authority, but I can always tell my ideas about it, and maybe that’s enough.

If I changed it, what would I change it to? I guess that’s the question that I can’t answer, and if I could I may have changed it already. I do love the alliteration in the name, and being able to call it SSS, but, then again, it doesn’t really emphasize where my head is right now. My head is on gender, feminism, equality, identities, bdsm, submission, cuntpet-hood, Topping, and all sorts of things, perhaps things that can be fit into both sacred and shameless but not necessarily things that automatically come to mind with the two. Or maybe they are? I’m just not sure.

I’m just so unsure of where I want to go with it. Perhaps that’s what I should figure out first? Do I want to keep it the way it is, change it completely, or do I just need to get rid of it? I think getting rid of it is less of an option than the others, I just need to dedicate myself and my time to it in a more structured manner. But which of the first two do I choose? Hmm…

Some days I have very little to say D/s wise, and on these days I’m quiet.

I’m working on a paper for my Queer Theory class exploring BDSM, which should be interesting. I’m having a very hard time narrowing down a concept. I’m thinking of exploring gender, using Venus in Furs and Secretary, or possibly Venus in Furs and a scene which I will describe. Another option is marriage and BDSM, I know quite a few Dommes and male subs who won’t participate in it due to the misogyny associated with it, and since it pretty much goes the opposite of their roles, similarly, in ViF Wanda asserts that she could never marry someone who was subordinate to her, if she was to marry it would be to a Dominant man. I also know many female subs who want to get married to their Dom. And then there’s me…

Other than that… marriage would be easy to do, but I’m not sure if I could write twelve pages on it, though… possibly. I may add marriage into a paper on gender, and I could add something on gender supremacy within BDSM and also some things I’ve already talked about in here.

My Prof. agreed that basically at this point the hardest part for me will be narrowing down a topic. I think I just need to choose one and run with it, but there is so much that I would like to explore. Whatever I do I’ll end up posting it here, to be sure. It’s two weeks from the end of the semester, so I may be quite absent these next two weeks.