Body & Soul by zkukkuiz used under a Creative Commons license.

This is the fifth of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.

Read the first: luna[KM]
Read the second: icecoldbath
Read the third: Nadia West
Read the fourth: Dee

E is a 21 year old lady/girl who is “Pansexual with a preference for girl/lady/woman-identified people.” She is currently involved (non-monogamously) with a boy.

What size is your body?
It is small-to-average. I think it’s average, but most people think it’s small. My pants size is juniors 3-5-7, dress size 2-4, general size S or M. I am 5’4″ and around 110lbs with more thigh than I’d like, but generally rectangular in shape.

How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
Not particularly. I’ve had body image problems for most of my life, if not all of it, but I am slowly growing to love it for what it is. I am not necessarily uncomfortable with the size of my body, I am mostly uncomfortable with the actual dimensions of it and the relationships of various body parts to one another.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
It has always been bad, but I’ve been putting a conscious effort into improving it over the last 6 years or so. I absolutely haven’t gotten to the point where I’m happy with my body, but I don’t detest it as much as I used to.

How important is sexuality to your life?
Extremely.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
I have always been extremely sexual. At first, I was uncomfortable with my sexuality because everything in the world tells girls they should not feel sexual or sexy or aroused Ever, and I definitely did, so there must have been something TERRIBLY wrong with me (I thought). By age 16, I was comfortable with my sexuality and comfortable in my skin, and I have been ever since.

How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
Extremely. Sexual situations are some of the few in which I feel comfortable as a physical entity.

How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
I mean, I’m a woman. Society’s favorite pastime is viewing female bodies as sexual. I have a a white, generally small-ish female body, which mainstream media seems to be into.

Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
Absolute opposites. I don’t like my body as an aesthetic object because of the way that society has influenced my self-perception (I think), but I am completely comfortable with my sexuality and with my body as a sexual object/entity/being/thing. I’m not sure how this arose, but I’m happy to at least be able to be comfortable with some aspect of having a body.

Tiffany’s Boudoir by Dev1l-5pawn found by Marla Singer.

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #13? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #15? Submit it here before Sunday February 8th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• The Cherries are Sexy Valentine’s Day Giveaway! Deadline: Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.
• NoFauxxx.com Membership Giveaway. Deadline: Feb 28th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Mr. Bendy by Erin Leone

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

(more…)

I really hate to give bad reviews, but the loudness of the Tuyo was so distracting that I couldn’t get into it.

While not all Tuyo’s have this noise issue enough of them have it and enough people have complained about it that it is an issue with the toy and not just with my toy.

Sorry Big Teeze and Babeland! I really wanted to like Tuyo, the design is so awesome and unique that I really thought I would like it, but I really just can’t.

Thank you very much to Babeland for allowing me to review Tuyo!

The contents of my Kinky Christmas Stocking from FetLife! Click for larger version.

Near the end of last month I posted about the wonderful kinky networking site FetLife giving away 40 amazing Kinky Christmas Stockings. Since I am a FetLife Greeter I was lucky enough to receive a Kinky Christmas Stocking of my very own as a thank you gift for all the hard work I’ve done over the last 6 or so months of greeting!

I just got my stocking today! I’m very excited about it, and it all looks like great fun. The contents of the stocking (no actual stocking included, that’s just the term for it) is in the picture above.

There are a few things that I either already have one of or won’t be using, which I’m not sure what I’m going to do with yet. I may put them up for giveaway here, but we’ll see.

As you can see the image above is numbered 1-18 going left-to-right. That’s so I can tell you what each thing is! There’s actually 20 items in the picture above, but a few are doubled-up.

There are also two items which are not included in the picture because they are virtual gifts. A six month subscription to Into the Attic, and a six month subscription to Backdoor Bondage!

Onto the contents:

1. New York City Sexbloggers Calendar 2009 – I’ve posted about this before, so you probably know what it is, or you can tell from the title what it is. I actually ordered one not too long ago, so now I have two! This is one item I’m definitely going to be giving away on here, so look out for that.
2. The World’s Best Blindfold by Scott Paul Designs – I’ve tried this on but not had the opportunity to use it yet (since I just got everything about an hour ago) but it already seems like a pretty awesome blindfold! I actually don’t have a good thick leather blindfold so this is a wonderful addition to my toybox. It’s made of leather and lined with neoprene so it’s super comfy. I’ll probably review it on Wanton Lotus.
3. A Leather Belt Accessory Clip and 30% off coupon from Sinvention, a fantastic Canadian leathercraft store which I first heard about from Domina Doll. The clip will probably be used by Onyx more than me, as he wears belts and I rarely do, but they have such wonderful stuff I’m excited about the coupon! I’ll let you know when I get something from them.
4. Fukuoku Two Fingers and a Thumb vibrator from VibeReview. I’m a little disappointed with this since it’s made of jelly rubber, which means I won’t use it. It looks interesting and like it would be fun (the fingers rotate as well as vibrate), but I just don’t use jelly toys nor do I condone their use so I don’t really want to give it to someone else either. I may recycle it so I’m not just throwing it away.
5. Bound Gods sample DVD from Kink.Com – Sexy gay male bondage porn! Yes, please!
6. 20 Lifestyles condoms “because protection sucks but is necessary” (so says John). While Onyx and I are fluid bonded so we don’t really use condoms we are desiring adding other partners to our relationship, so condoms are good to have around!
7. EMT Sheers and gauze from Boss Bondage – Definitely coming in handy! Did I mention we’re going to a rope class taught by Midori on Saturday (the 31st)? Well, we are, so I’m sure the sheers will be used!
8. Wartenberg Pin Wheel from Medical Toys – A toy I’ve wanted FOREVER and yet have never owned. Why? I’m really not sure! I’m very excited to play with this, especially over play piercings, I hear that’s fun. ;)
9. Graves Speculum from Dr. Clockwork – High quality stainless steel speculum! While I’m not hugely into medical play I do find the idea of speculums kinda sexy (when used in a sexual context, that is). I have a plastic one already that we have yet to use, but the cold metal sound like it would be even more fun.
10. 10 foot custom dyed rope from Ms. Nikki Nefarious with a custom note from her as well! The color of the rope doesn’t come off very well in the picture, but it’s a gorgeous light purple and raspberry mix that is tied beautifully as well. I’m actually loath to take it apart!
11. Japanese Silk Love Rope Wrist Cuffs from Dungeon Discounters – I’ve seen a few reviews of these and I’m pretty excited to try them. Basically they’re rope wrist cuffs that are adjustable and simple to use. Made by the same company as the Japanese Silk Love Rope I already have. Definitely a fun thing to have around!
12. Brown 5-inch Toy Case from For Your Nymphomation – Absolutely lovely and wonderful! Can easy store a bullet or something else small-ish. I already have three FYN cases that I just got before we moved to haul all my toys around in. I don’t really need this little one, so I’ll probably give it away!
13. Bullet Vibrator from Bondage Fetish Store – Seems well-made, but I already have a few great bullet vibes, so I may give this one away too! Maybe with the FYN case since they would go so well together.
14. Round Triskele-Symbol 3″ Lapel Sticker from RogerMeToo – A symbol known as the BDSM Emblem which is great to flaunt. To people who don’t know what it is it just looks like a cool celtic yin-yang kind of thing, but to people in the know you’ll be letting them know you’re kinky. I’ll probably stick this on my laptop cover!
15. Chopsticks! Also from Boss Bondage – At first I was like “Er… yay? Chopsticks?” and I wracked my brain for a kinky meaning behind them. Upon consulting with Catalina she informed me that they are not just chopsticks, they are nipple torture devices! What fun! And inexpensive fun, I might add. Easy to make, too, if you have four chopsticks (or just two) and four rubber bands (or just two) you can make these too! I’ve already tried them out a bit, and they can get wicked.
16. Card from Catalina and John – On one side (the side you can see) there’s sexy picture of Ms. Catalina Loves herself, and on the other side there are two notes to me from Catalina and John. Not part of the listed contents of the stocking originally, but something I’ll definitely treasure! It’ll probably be framed and hung next to the next item on the list.
17. 4×6 Print of Beach Bound by (and from) fetish photographer Lochai – I absolutely love this, it’s one of my favorite shots by Lochai and I’m thrilled to have a print of it! I’ll definitely frame it and put it on my wall.
18. Last but not least: The Zeus Electrogasm from ExtremeRestraints – An electrosex toy! I’m super excited about this one. Onyx and I have been wanting to play around with electrosex for a while, but haven’t been able to. I already tried this out on my leg and it feels great, though kinda strange the higher the intensity gets. I’ll be sure to review this one!

There you have it! Wonderful gifts from a wonderful site and wonderful people! Thank you so very very much to the sponsors who donated the items to make up the stocking, John Baku, Catalina Loves, and the FetLife Team who made this gift a reality!

Contests for the items I’m not keeping will come soon. Keep your eyes out!

Another of those play piercing pictures. I posted this earlier on my 365 Scarlet Portraits blog, today was my catch-up day when I posted nine pictures of me (three of which were posted on here already). I think this picture is possibly my favorite of all the ones on the 365 blog.

I pierced myself in these (as per usual, Onyx doesn’t feel ready to pierce me yet, and I don’t blame him), and it was kind of difficult to pierce the left (my left) side because I pierced from the opposite side than I’ve gotten used to, and since I can’t really just go to the other side on myself it was a little awkward, and they ended up hurting a little more.

Also I had a difficult time coming back out on them, which is why they actually pass under my skin longer than the others (if that makes sense).

I really enjoy the way these look. I love my cleavage in them, but more than that I love the way my tattoos peek out and the way the shirt looks (more on that in a minute), as well as the way the needles look, of course.

I chose the two sizes for a reason (pink: 25g 1in, gray: 22g 1 1/2in), mostly because I thought they would look nice together. I started with the gray and added the pink when I wanted a second needle, mostly because I didn’t want blue (23g) or any of the other colors I had. Pink went best with the shirt.

Now the shirt. It’s not actually finished yet, or in the picture, but I made it. Yes, I crocheted it (hence the ‘hooks’ part of the title, we crocheters are hookers, you know). It’s missing the sleeves and some of the bottom (needs to go about three inches further down my torso).

I need to get more yarn for it so I can complete it, but for the time being it is sitting patiently in my crochet bag. Once it’s finished I’m sure to post a picture of it, maybe here, but definitely there.

You can also see my (what I have called Orgonite and will hereafter refer to as) prana forger, which is the pendant about my neck. As well as my Star of Babalon necklace, which is actually Onyx’s, but I took it from him long ago and he has said it looks better on me. Maybe that makes it mine now.

A few quick thoughts tonight. I feel like I have so much to write about and so much to do lately that I’m not really getting anything done, which irritates me. More posts to come!

I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote lately, from PoMoSexuals “Identity Sedition and Pornography” by Pat Califia p. 88 emphasis mine:

Just to set the record straight: I am a female-bodied person who writes about every kind of person I can imagine. Although I briefly contemplated sex reassignment when I was much younger, I decided that would not resolve my gender conflicts. I’m never sure if I have a gender dysphoria or species dysphoria. I often try to explain that I’m really a starfish trapped in a human body and I’m very new to your planet. Or that in fact I am a woman trapped in a man’s body, which really confuses other people but makes sense to me.

It’s fitting where I feel I fit, where I’ve felt for a while. The drag queen masculine femininity that I cling to, the femme fagette in me that is starting to come out even more. I’ve found a better way to express it lately I think, which is making me indescribably joyful, and I’m discovering more about it too, which makes me even more happy.

Onyx and I went into Babeland tonight and looked around. I pointed out toys I wanted, toys that are (hopefully) coming to me soon, and things like that. I had my first encounter with Mr. Bendy while looking at dildos and soft packs and he’s seriously lustable! I kind of (very much) want one, great for packing and playing, which I like.

I’m toying with the idea of packing more often, but as I primarily wear skirts and dresses I would need a soft pack or a cock like Mr. Bendy that will stay bent.

The other thoughts rolling around my brain is that Femmeinist Fucktoy isn’t resonating with me as much as it used to. It went down when I discovered my switchness however long ago, as fucktoy is a very bottom-centric term, and it’s gone down again now that fagette is a larger part of my identity as well.

I also don’t talk as much about feminist-oriented things as I thought I would when I started this blog. Granted, I do believe that talking about gender and sexuality is a feminist act, but that’s not quite the same as being a feminist blog.

My point in bringing this up is that I’m pondering changing the name, and therefore also the URL of the blog. It’s easyish to transition to another URL and name, but what I’m thinking of changing it to is Femme Fagette.

In talking with Onyx about this he mentioned that naming the blog after an identity might not be the best thing to do, as my identities tend to fluctuate rapidly. While I agree with that I feel like this identity will stay around for a while, but I don’t really know that for sure. Thoughts?

Curvaceous Dee herself, courtesy of Curvaceous Dee

This is the third of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.

Read the first: Size & Sexuality Study – luna[KM]
Read the second: Size & Sexuality Study – icecoldbath
Read the third: Size & Sexuality Study – Nadia West

Dee is a 31 year old pansexual cis-female who is civilly unioned and with multiple partners. To many she is known via her blog as Curvaceous Dee.

What size is your body?
In New Zealand sizing I’m a 26 or XXXL. I think that in US sizing that’s a 22 or 24. My shape is more hour-glass than apple or pear – I have boobs and arse and thighs and belly, with a comparatively small waist. While I’m big, I’m big all over! I also weigh more than I appear to (I weigh over 140kg/300lb), and wear dress sizes larger than most people realise.

How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
I love my body, and my body size and shape. I’m very comfortable with how I look and how I feel.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
13 years ago I was much slimmer, and my size increased over a 2 year period. I spent four or five years unhappy with the changes and wanting to be slimmer again. It took me time to realise that a) this is my natural body shape (becoming vegetarian didn’t reduce it; exercising less thanks to migraines didn’t increase it), b) I’m not unhealthy at this size, and c) I look and feel great just the way I am! I’m fat, I’m sexy, and I’m damned happy that way.

How important is sexuality to your life?
Very!

How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
I’ve always been quite experimental. However, in the past eight or so years I’ve gone from identifying as heterosexual, to bicurious, to bisexual, and finally to pansexual. At the same time I moved from (mostly failed) monogamous relationships to (mostly successful) polyamorous ones; and also discovered my submissive desires.

How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
Very – and participating in Half-Nekkid Thursday over the past year and increased my comfortableness even more.

How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
Society in general? Fat and sexy seems anathema the majority of the time. However I’ve had nothing but positive feedback from partners over the past eight years; nothing but positive comments on my blog (and there’s been a lot of my body shown); and nothing but positive – or at least non-negative – responses from my local kink community.

Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
The main link is that as I became more comfortable with myself – my body, my attractions, my desires – I became happier in my relationships.

Anything else you would like to add?
These are fascinating questions, and I’m very curious to see what other have to say. And that FAT IS SEXY – especially mine :)

Image by Eric Traore

This week’s Pleasurists is seriously HUGE. It’s because I took the week off last week due to moving (which was wonderful, considering we only got internet at home today. Since there was no Pleasurists last week the one this week has two weeks worth of reviews in it, thus it’s about double the size. I say “about” because we’re getting new reviewers submitting every week too, which is awesome, in my opinion.

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #12? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #14? Submit it here before Sunday February 1st at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Swag Contest: Isis! Deadline: Wednesday January 28th at 11:59pm.
• 4th Blog-iversary Trivia Contest Deadline: January 31st at 11:59pm.
• Win a Hot New Sex Toy! Deadline: February 1st.
• The Cherries are Sexy Valentine’s Day Giveaway! Deadline: Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Maui Silicone Anal Beads by Kyle

The words “anal beads” cause my internal 14 year old boy to giggle nervously and worry about the potential tenting in his jeans. My slightly more mature self smiles appreciatively with no less potential for tenting. I’m a fan of buttsex…

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

(more…)

One thing I’ve noticed, too, that I forgot to mention is that a lot of people shy away from canes because they can be very wicked. The nice thing about canes is that they can produce a range of sensation, they don’t have to just be used for hard blows. I mentioned the range of sensation a bit regarding the diameter differences, but also depending on where and how hard they are used the sensation can range from light to horrible.

While many people think they don’t like canes, I challenge anyone who enjoys pain play and/or impact play to try them (since they are so darned cheap too) and play around with the sensations and intensity of the toy. I believe most people would enjoy them if they just played around with them a bit.

Find the 1/4x20in Red Acrylic Cane (also in black, purple, blue, or green) along with other BDSM and Fetish Toys and sex toys of every flavor on SexToy.Com.

Also mentioned:
3/8x30in Red Acrylic Cane which also comes in black, purple, blue, or green (you can read my review here.)
3/8x24in Red Acrylic Cane also in black, purple, blue, and green

Much thanks to SexToy.Com for letting me review the 1/4x20in Red Acrylic Cane!

I feel like I’m discovering a part of myself I buried away, and mostly just because of a different environment. When just about everything around me is changing I feel the most at home. I thrive on change, as I am always in a constant state of change.

I dressed up last night with my hair in a fauxhawk, in lipstick, a bettie page shirt, and purple pants. To that I added a thick purple feather boa (pic above), and I felt come into myself. My newly cut hair makes me smile when I look at my face. I look like me again.

I was trying to be someone else for a while, someone I thought I wanted to be, or someone I thought Onyx wanted, or someone I thought could be, I’m not sure. I look at pictures of me with long hair and I don’t look right. I look like someone else.

Hair cuts can do that. They have power like that. They can change the way a person looks completely, be subtle or drastic, help mold a new identity. I look in the mirror and I wonder how I tried to be anything else.

This isn’t really a new identity. It’s one I’ve been talking about and theorizing for a while, but I needed a change of location to find it, a change of scenery. I’m still everything I’ve ever been and everything I will be, I just look a little different.

I’m finding the perfect way to meld my sway and shimmy with my swagger, and it’s fun.

I’m in such constant change that this doesn’t feel like change, just discovery. By which I mean, I don’t ever feel like I as a whole changes or my core changes, that always stays the same, but everything else changes, which is lots.

I’ve been waiting for something to kick-start me into discovering these new changes. Seattle is just that.

I felt so stagnant and helpless before we moved, and like I couldn’t affect anything since I had no control over when we moved. Ultimately it was Onyx who decided we should move and made it happen, even though I had been telling him we didn’t have to wait and could do it if we decided to. I’d been saying that for months, and it took him realizing that to make it happen.

Now I’m realizing the possibilities of this city. The possibility of being able to embrace a the side of myself I have been rejecting is overwhelming. I’ve already started introducing myself as Scarlet instead of my given name and I love it.

I can be me here, and that’s what’s most exciting.

I feel especially blessed that I have a partner who is willing and eager to share it with me. Someone who is supportive and excited to watch as I discover and change and progress and who finds me sexy and attractive regardless.