Comments on: Scared http://ofpleasure.com/2009/04/26/scared/ A genderqueer fat queer poly switch exploring gender, sexuality, and the pitfalls of an overanalytical nature. Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:08:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Femme Fagette » Emotional Roller Coasters http://ofpleasure.com/2009/04/26/scared/comment-page-1/#comment-1484 Femme Fagette » Emotional Roller Coasters Sat, 02 May 2009 08:39:15 +0000 http://ofpleasure.com/?p=2797#comment-1484 [...] The next day (Friday) I wrote On the Transition from Mono to Poly to Triad further exploring my fears, insecurities, and worries while also expressing my excitement. On Sunday I wrote Scared [...] [...] The next day (Friday) I wrote On the Transition from Mono to Poly to Triad further exploring my fears, insecurities, and worries while also expressing my excitement. On Sunday I wrote Scared [...]

]]> By: Emotional Hangover « Confessions of Promiscuity http://ofpleasure.com/2009/04/26/scared/comment-page-1/#comment-1483 Emotional Hangover « Confessions of Promiscuity Fri, 01 May 2009 18:20:33 +0000 http://ofpleasure.com/?p=2797#comment-1483 [...] so to speak, it like a punch in the gut.  Scarlet had a freak-out Sunday evening, she wrote about being scared, the transition from mono to poly to triad, and about an overflow of [...] [...] so to speak, it like a punch in the gut.  Scarlet had a freak-out Sunday evening, she wrote about being scared, the transition from mono to poly to triad, and about an overflow of [...]

]]> By: Scarlet Lotus St. Syr http://ofpleasure.com/2009/04/26/scared/comment-page-1/#comment-1480 Scarlet Lotus St. Syr Mon, 27 Apr 2009 04:12:21 +0000 http://ofpleasure.com/?p=2797#comment-1480 Definitely! They are very willing to talk about it, which is what we've all been doing since I got out of the shower pretty much. I very much agree that working on personal issues within a relationship makes that relationship stronger, I think we've all grown closer in the last few days since I started writing about these things and since we all started talking about them together. It's wonderful while also being painful. I'm sure the two of you will find someone who is a better fit. It just wasn't the right time/person/something but you'll get there eventually. If Onyx and I can have the right person fall into our laps I'm sure it can happen for everyone! =P You just might have to move out of Southern Oregon to do it... Seattle's pretty awesome. *hinthint* =D Definitely! They are very willing to talk about it, which is what we’ve all been doing since I got out of the shower pretty much. I very much agree that working on personal issues within a relationship makes that relationship stronger, I think we’ve all grown closer in the last few days since I started writing about these things and since we all started talking about them together. It’s wonderful while also being painful.

I’m sure the two of you will find someone who is a better fit. It just wasn’t the right time/person/something but you’ll get there eventually. If Onyx and I can have the right person fall into our laps I’m sure it can happen for everyone! =P

You just might have to move out of Southern Oregon to do it… Seattle’s pretty awesome. *hinthint* =D

]]> By: Amber http://ofpleasure.com/2009/04/26/scared/comment-page-1/#comment-1482 Amber Mon, 27 Apr 2009 04:06:39 +0000 http://ofpleasure.com/?p=2797#comment-1482 Oh, absolutely. The great thing is that you KNOW about the issue and are willing to work on it, as are the two of them - or at least I'm guessing they would be willing once the issue was brought to their attention. But, for me at least the great thing about working on personal issues while involved in a relationship is that it really only makes the relationship stronger. I haven't blogged much about the ending of the exploration with J. I wrote a post about it ending but didn't go much into the details. Guess I didn't want to relive them or something. :) Oh well. You know what is said about fish in the sea... there are plenty! Oh, absolutely. The great thing is that you KNOW about the issue and are willing to work on it, as are the two of them – or at least I’m guessing they would be willing once the issue was brought to their attention. But, for me at least the great thing about working on personal issues while involved in a relationship is that it really only makes the relationship stronger.

I haven’t blogged much about the ending of the exploration with J. I wrote a post about it ending but didn’t go much into the details. Guess I didn’t want to relive them or something. :) Oh well. You know what is said about fish in the sea… there are plenty!

]]> By: Scarlet Lotus St. Syr http://ofpleasure.com/2009/04/26/scared/comment-page-1/#comment-1481 Scarlet Lotus St. Syr Mon, 27 Apr 2009 04:00:03 +0000 http://ofpleasure.com/?p=2797#comment-1481 I'm sorry to hear that hasn't worked out, I missed the ending of exploration with him but I'm also way behind on blog reading so that could be part of it too. That's definitely part of it, though I think it's more about them abandoning me not necessarily connecting on a deeper level because I don't think there could be a deeper level for them to connect on than the ones we're already connected on... if that makes sense. It's not logical, it's all about my fear of abandonment coming into play, even hearing that they may want alone time makes me go "they don't want me!" when logically I know that's not the case. I have a huge fear of abandonment stemming from childhood and it's something I (obviously) need to work on heavily. Luckily we're all determined for it to work and so I know it will, I just need to work on these issues that pop up. I’m sorry to hear that hasn’t worked out, I missed the ending of exploration with him but I’m also way behind on blog reading so that could be part of it too.

That’s definitely part of it, though I think it’s more about them abandoning me not necessarily connecting on a deeper level because I don’t think there could be a deeper level for them to connect on than the ones we’re already connected on… if that makes sense. It’s not logical, it’s all about my fear of abandonment coming into play, even hearing that they may want alone time makes me go “they don’t want me!” when logically I know that’s not the case. I have a huge fear of abandonment stemming from childhood and it’s something I (obviously) need to work on heavily. Luckily we’re all determined for it to work and so I know it will, I just need to work on these issues that pop up.

]]> By: Amber http://ofpleasure.com/2009/04/26/scared/comment-page-1/#comment-1479 Amber Mon, 27 Apr 2009 03:23:14 +0000 http://ofpleasure.com/?p=2797#comment-1479 Before things with J dissolved completely, our triad relationship was evolving into more of a V-relationship because M and J weren't hitting it off quite like J and I. In a way I almost did prefer it because I didn't have to worry about either of them falling for each other and leaving me alone. In the end, though.. *shrug* It's back to just M and I now. Might that be what you're worried about? Onyx and Marla connecting on a deeper level than you and Onyx, or you and Marla? It's a difficult emotion, to be sure. You've got my best wishes that it'll all work out. :) Before things with J dissolved completely, our triad relationship was evolving into more of a V-relationship because M and J weren’t hitting it off quite like J and I. In a way I almost did prefer it because I didn’t have to worry about either of them falling for each other and leaving me alone. In the end, though.. *shrug* It’s back to just M and I now.

Might that be what you’re worried about? Onyx and Marla connecting on a deeper level than you and Onyx, or you and Marla? It’s a difficult emotion, to be sure. You’ve got my best wishes that it’ll all work out. :)

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